Manny: My scythe–I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.
Manny: Our relationship has moved beyond that.
Manny: I don’t want to mess up my blade.
Manny: It’s some sort of special work order…
Eva: To: All agents. From: Office Manager Don Copal.
Copal: All right you boneheads, thank your lucky stars and get to your freakin’ cars!
Copal: We have a mass poisoning on our hands!
Copal: Too many dead to assign specific cases, so all clients are FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!
Copal: So as you sow, so shall you reap, and as you reap, so shall you receive your commission!
Copal: So, let’s see some hustle out there!
Copal: Move it! Move it! Move it!
Manny: Whatever you say, jefe.
Manny: I could make a paper airplane with it, but I’m kinda busy.
Manny: Memos are for reading and throwing away, and not much else.
Manny: Looks like I got a message.
Manny: My message tube is full of nothing, as usual.
Manny: There’s no air pressure.
Manny: The server must be down.
Manny: There’s something in there already.
Manny: Heh. Look out below.
Manny: My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books…
Manny: “They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows,” stuff like that.
Manny: Read ’em already. Didn’t help.
Manny: This deck of cards is a little frayed around the edges.
Manny: Then again, so am I, and I’ve got fewer suits.
Manny: It’s a deck of cards.
Manny: Better take these cards– it looks like a long day of solitaire for me.
Manny: I’ve already got one card out, and I’m not dealing more until there’s money on the table.
Manny: A deck of cards just wouldn’t help there.
Manny: Oooh, must be a pinochle deck!
Manny: I don’t know how to pick locks that way.
Manny: This card’s full of holes.
Manny: I keep meaning to mark these cards…
Manny: I don’t feel like pitching cards right now.
Manny: I couldn’t play this card there.
Manny: My computer gives me instant access to our database of deadbeats.
Manny: (I just don’t understand it.)
Manny: (Why can’t I find anything good for Meche?)
Manny: I should close Bruno’s record before the black marks burn into my screen.
Manny: Here’s Celso’s file.
Manny: That walking stick was too good for him.
Manny: Ah the old files, the old clients, the glory days…
Manny: When people died with dignity, and Domino Hurley didn’t exist.
Manny: I don’t want to re-read the old files; it’ll just make me sad.
Manny: This end cabinet is where I hang my cloak.
Manny: Nothing in there but my cloak.
Manny: Eh, I’m going to let it air out some more.
Manny: She looks fine to me.
Manny: I don’t like to get involved with the customers that way.
Meche: I’m sorry I let you down, Manny.
Meche: That’s a lot of responsibility, Mr. Calavera.
Meche: What makes you think I’ve been all that good?
Manny: Ms. Colomar–
Meche: Meche. Please.
Manny: Meche. I can see it in your face.
Manny: And in your file here, where it says you’re entitled to a first-class ticket to…
Meche: Did I do something wrong?
Manny: Not according to your bio! It was spotless!
Manny: …at least the part I read was.
Meche: I’m not sure I like the implication, Mr. Calavera.
Manny: I’m still on the case, Meche, but I haven’t found anything for you yet.
Meche: Maybe I’m not the woman you were hoping for.
Manny: I’ve been thinking about your case…
Manny: The only implication here is that I’m fired.
Meche: Is it something I did?
Manny: Are you SURE you’re Mercedes Colomar?
Meche: Yes, would you like to see my birthmark?
Manny: Anything about your past you haven’t told me?
Meche: Quite a bit, considering I’ve told you nothing.
Manny: Anything else you want to come clean about?
Meche: What else can I say?
Manny: Excuse me, but I have to go straighten this mess out.
Meche: Sorry to be so much trouble, Mr. Calavera.
Manny: It’s no trouble, but please…
Manny: Call me Manny.
Manny: You know what I have to do, I just have to go straighten this mess out.
Manny: Sure. Where is it?
Meche: It’s wherever you guys put my skin!
Manny: Maybe later.
Meche: Well, hurry up because it’s going to be cremated soon.
Manny: On second thought, I’d better go.
Meche: Well, it’s probably cremated by now anyway…
Manny: Did you kill much when you were alive?
Meche: Very little.
Manny: Never killed anybody?
Meche: I have to confess, I never killed anybody.
Manny: Not even a teensy bit of killing?
Meche: Maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough.
Manny: Were you a big shoplifter?
Meche: Well, they accused me of it once…
Meche: But it wasn’t my fault. That puppy followed me out of the store.
Manny: Mean to animals?
Meche: Oh no! I love animals.
Meche: Once, when I was volunteering at an animal shelter–
Manny: Just stop right there.
Manny: Ever cheated on your taxes?
Meche: I’ve never paid taxes in my life.
Meche: I’ve never made enough money to be taxed.
Meche: You know, it’s mostly been all volunteer work…
Manny: Ever cheated on your husband?
Meche: Mr. Calavera, there’s no ring on my finger.
Manny: There’s no skin on it either…
Meche: I guess you’ll just have to trust me then.
Meche: Oh, Manny. Is that the best you can do?
Manny: Work with me Meche. Give me some dirt.
Meche: Well, I could do something bad right now if that would help.
Manny: Wouldn’t count. Sorry.
Manny: I give up.
Meche: Don’t say that, Manny.
Manny: Oh, I sold so many car travel packages when I was first starting out.
Manny: When did I lose my edge?
Manny: We can’t operate cars, that’s how they keep us from skipping town.
Manny: “NO PARKING. Client car pick-up only.”
Manny: I remember the year they built that…
Manny: Mostly because it cost so much we didn’t get bonuses that year.
Manny: I’m not going in there!
Manny: They still think I’m locked up, hopefully.
Manny: The Petrified Forest, Rubacava…
Manny: Not really that far away, but to me they might as well be on the other side of the world.
Manny: This is the on-ramp to the freeway.
Manny: I’m not walking on the freeway!
Manny: I shouldn’t even be STANDING here…
Eva: Manny, what are you doing?
Manny: Safety inspection.
Eva: Well, hurry up, you’re giving me a migraine.
Eva: Server’s down again.
Manny: What else is new?
Eva: What is that horrible squeaking noise you’re making?
Manny: New shoes.
Eva: Manny, stop messing around and go dig up a driver in the garage.
Copal: Hey! Funny Bones!
Copal: In my office!
Manny: It’s a hole punch.
Manny: Could I take your hole punch?
Eva: Ha! I doubt you could take my HALF punch.
Manny: Mind if I use your hole punch?
Eva: Knock yourself out.
Eva: Gets the aggressions out, doesn’t it?
Manny: Any more holes and it would fall apart!
Eva: Manny, what are you doing?
Manny: Just marking cards, honey.
Manny: That might alter their performance.
Manny: It’s my boss’ secretary, Eva.
Eva: It’s my boss’ whipping boy, Manny.
Eva: Oh, Manny. Just take the sentences one word at a time. You’ll get it.
Eva: Maybe card tricks some other time, when I’m not so busy.
Eva: Thanks, but I got solitaire on the computer, Manny.
Eva: Oh THAT’S what’s making that terrible noise.
Manny: Domino’s door is locked.
Manny: Probably scared I’ll steal one of his files.
Manny: Not a bad idea, actually.
Eva: Big Mr. Boss Man doesn’t want to be disturbed today.
Manny: Ah, the big, golden door to mediocre management.
Eva: A little respect for our fearless leader, please.
Manny: Why? I’ve worked here longer than he has, you know.
Eva: And you’re proud of that?
Manny: Hmmm. Good point.
Manny: Wasn’t too long ago that the name on the door was, “Supply Closet.”
Manny: That’s the express elevator down to the garage.
Manny: That’s the elevator to the lobby.
Manny: Buenos DÌas.
Eva: Manny? Why aren’t you at the poisoning?
Manny: Eva, I really need the boss to sign this work order.
Eva: I’ll give it a shot.
Eva: Mr. Copal, I’ve got Manny Calavera out here to see you…
Eva: Sorry, Cal.
Eva: Maybe tomorrow.
Manny: That’s too late.
Eva: Oh yeah, like you’re going anywhere.
Manny: Hey, you missed a great poisoning.
Eva: Yeah, and you missed a great client.
Eva: Domino came back from there with a nun.
Manny: HÌjole – I got a tiny little man with a mean temper and no commission.
Eva: Well, at least you don’t work for one.
Manny: You know, Copal’s not really in his office.
Eva: Sweetheart, I know what you’re up to.
Eva: You’re trying to get me away from my desk so you can link all my paper clips together again.
Eva: Grow up, darling.
Manny: Just one more question about my job…
Manny: What poisoning?
Eva: Yeah, the code three gazpacho poisoning that everybody’s at but you!
Eva: Why do I send out memos if no one reads them?
Manny: Where was the poisoning again?
Eva: Just ask your driver for crying out loud. He’ll know.
Eva: He’ll know.
Manny: I forget… am I supposed to be somewhere right now?
Manny: I can’t find my driver.
Eva: Manny, you know what to do.
Eva: Stop playing dumb just to flirt with me.
Eva: Manny, do I have to explain your job to you again?
Manny: Any messages for me?
Eva: Besides the one about the poisoning?
Eva: I only have one other message for you, Manny…
Eva: I’m not your secretary!
Eva: I don’t take your messages!
Eva: So get it through your thick skull, and stop forwarding your phone to me!
Manny: Alright, but that sounded more like FOUR messages to me.
Manny: In my heart, though, you’re still my secretary.
Eva: Manny, what are you talking about?
Eva: I was NEVER your secretary, even when you were on top.
Eva: I got one boss, same as you–Don Copal.
Manny: Come on. I know you work for another man besides Don.
Eva: Wh…What are you talking about?
Manny: I know you take memos for Hurley some times.
Eva: Ah, Manny. Just beat it, will ya?
Manny: Busy as ever, I see.
Eva: I’d have more work to do if you had more clients.
Manny: Where is everybody?
Eva: Oh, Manny, did you forget what day it is today?
Manny: Oh, man. Did I come in on Saturday again?
Eva: It’s the Day of the Dead!
Eva: Everybody’s back in the Land of the Living, visiting their families, like we should be.
Manny: Why aren’t you visiting your family today?
Eva: Ah, the boss is here so I gotta be here.
Eva: How about you, Cal?
Manny: No one back there I want to see.
Eva: …and you don’t want Domino here alone, getting all the good leads.
Manny: That too.
Manny: Domino’s here?
Eva: He’s at the poisoning right now, stealing your commission.
Manny: So… you going to the Christmas party?
Eva: After the spectacle you made of yourself last year?
Eva: I wouldn’t miss it for the world!
Manny: Any good gossip?
Eva: Well, I heard Domino got a raise.
Manny: Por favor. Tell me some good news, why don’t ya?
Eva: I still love you.
Manny: You’re all I really need, Belleza.
Eva: Well, the Manuel Calavera that I know picks up people in the Land of the Living…
Manny: Dead people.
Eva: And he brings them here and tries valiantly to sell them the best travel package they qualify for.
Eva: If he sells enough premium packages, our hero will be free to leave the Land of the Dead.
Eva: Until then, he and I are stuck here…
Eva: …having the same conversation…
Eva: …over and over again for eternity.
Manny: No, but I’d like to hear your description of it, just for kicks.
Manny: No, I just want to know where my driver is.
Eva: Do you want me to have him paged?
Eva: Then get Don to stop being such a cheapskate and install a paging system.
Eva: Good, because we don’t have a paging system.
Eva: You’re just gonna have to troll the carpool until you find a demon with a driver’s license.
Manny: Well, enough about me. What’s your job like?
Eva: Like babysitting, except I don’t get to watch TV.
Manny: Why do I have to use a demon for a driver?
Eva: Only demons can operate the cars.
Eva: If the company let you guys drive, you’d all be A.W.O.L. in ten minutes.
Manny: Got me there.
Manny: What if we just skipped town tonight?
Manny: You and me, baby!
Eva: Thanks for the offer, but we’d never make it out of the city alive.
Eva: In one piece, I mean.
Manny: I bet I could get out, if I really tried.
Eva: Oh, Manny. Look at you.
Eva: You’re a trapped soul, and you don’t even know it.
Manny: Why do some clients qualify for better travel packages?
Eva: They led good lives.
Manny: Que traes! How do you define a “good” life?
Eva: Better than yours and mine.
Manny: How do I get a lead on a good client?
Eva: Sweetie, I send out the leads, but I don’t pick who gets them, and I don’t look inside.
Eva: They all look the same to me.
Eva: Kinda like you guys.
Eva: I just drop them in the tube, and the dispatcher down stairs sorts ’em out.
Manny: So, what did you do in life to get stuck here?
Eva: What I did back in the fat days is none of your business. You know the rules.
Manny: Well, I gotta go hit the bricks.
Eva: Okay, you show those bricks a lesson.
Eva: Manny, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a lot of filing here to do…
Manny: Right. Hay te huacho.
Manny: Ah, the old head of the department…
Manny: Way before my time.
Manny: Copal’s always saying what a slave driver he was, though.
Manny: Now this guy…
Manny: I don’t know who this guy is.
Manny: I think he just paid for the lobby renovation.
Brennis: Grmmmble, grrr…
Brennis: You and your fancy suits and your nose holes way up in the air…
Brennis: Sticking your empty beer bottles down the message tubes, how fancy is that?
Brennis: Huh? Don’t you boys upstairs realize the tube switcher is a sophisticated and delicate piece of machinery?
Brennis: You think you’re better than me??
Manny: There she is–The Number Nine…
Manny: One of these days I’m going to ride her right on outta here!
Manny: Good afternoon.
Manny: How’s it hanging?
Manny: Not that I have a choice, but I wonder if I’d be happier working on a ship.
Manny: Then again, I’m so competitive, I wouldn’t be able to relax until I was captain…
Manny: Let’s see… where am I on this… Don Copal, Domino Hurley…
Manny: Junior sales associates? That better not be me!
Manny: That’s the door to the communications room.
Manny: That’s the express elevator upstairs.
Manny: That’s the door to the packing room.
Manny: That’s the door to the streets of El Marrow.
Manny: Hey, Genie. Come out of the lantern already.
Manny: Hey! Service!
Glottis: Hey! Who the–
Glottis: Who’s messing with my stuff?
Glottis: Oh, heh, sorry, sir! I didn’t expect…
Glottis: Sales agents usually don’t come over to this part of the garage…
Glottis: Hey! Manny!
Glottis: Did you get that work order signed yet?
Manny: No. Can’t we just do it without?
Glottis: I told you! I could lose my job!
Glottis: Manny, if I lose my job…
Manny: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don’t worry. Just go on back to work.
Manny: I’ll get that work order signed.
Manny: I’ve got to get this work order signed.
Manny: That won’t help it get signed.
Manny: This sign says, “SHOP CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.”
Manny: I wonder what happened to Glottis…
Manny: This sign says, “I’m at the junkyard. Wooooo!”
Manny: Who’s afraid of a little rusty water?
Manny: It’s a tool cabinet.
Manny: It’s locked.
Manny: No one in there.
Manny: There’s something big going on in there.
Manny: Not when there’s a door.
Manny: There are lights for “Wash,” “Rinse,” “Wax…”
Manny: …and “Land of the Living” depending on your destination.
Manny: The driver-demons operate this somehow, and the company won’t tell us salesmen how it works.
Manny: Gotta keep us down somehow.
Manny: Through there lies the Limbo Highway, and on the other side of that, the Land of the Living.
Manny: Can’t go through on foot.
Manny: People have tried, but they never came back.
Manny: Regular cars.
Manny: Here’s what I need–wheels!
Manny: Oooh, I MIGHT get hurt if I try to get one down by myself…
Manny: I’m not going upstairs!
Manny: I want them to think I’m still locked in the shop!
Manny: That door opens up onto an alley.
Manny: Hey, you a driver?
Glottis: No no no.
Glottis: I don’t ride ’em. Just wrench ’em.
Manny: I’m Calavera. Manny Calavera.
Glottis: My name’s Glottis.
Glottis: I don’t get many visitors–Hey! I got a message for a Mr. Calavera…
Glottis: …your driver said…
Glottis: …that Mr. Hurley said…
Glottis: …that he could have the rest of the day off.
Manny: Domino sent my driver home?
Glottis: Yeah, wasn’t that nice?
Manny: Looks like I need a new driver.
Glottis: UH… I!
Glottis: Uh… I, would agree with that.
Glottis: Yes you do.
Manny: You want to be my replacement driver?
Glottis: OH, oh, no. Sorry.
Manny: Come on, Glottis. I need you to be my driver.
Glottis: I told you…
Glottis: No, I can’t. I’m… I’m…
Glottis: I’m too big.
Manny: You’re not too big! You’re just right!
Glottis: No, they told me again and again.
Glottis: I’m too big to drive.
Manny: You’re not too big. You just have a self-image problem.
Glottis: A what?
Manny: Repeat after me:
Manny: I am not fat.
Manny: I am thin.
Manny: Women find me attractive…
Glottis: Hey, I never said I was too fat for the ladies, just the cars.
Glottis: The ladies like me just fine (heh, heh, heh).
Manny: You’re not too big. The cars are just too small.
Glottis: Yeah! Those dang compact cars–
Glottis: Hey! That gives me an idea!
Glottis: I could alter your car just a bit–with just a quick torch job to let out the seams, you know?
Glottis: Ah, but I’m not allowed to modify the cars without a work order from upstairs.
Glottis: I could lose my job.
Manny: A work order, huh?
Glottis: Yeah yeah yeah!
Glottis: I can’t torch anything bigger than a cigarette without one of these signed by the boss himself.
Manny: Hey, that’s my line–getting people to sign.
Manny: Back in a snap.
Glottis: Yeah, too small! I’m not too big!
Glottis: Everything around here is just too small!
Manny: Screw the rules! Come with me!
Glottis: No, I don’t want to get in trouble again…
Glottis: They said one more strike and I’m out!
Manny: Well, do you know anyone who can drive?
Glottis: Everybody’s gone.
Glottis: It’s the Day of the Dead, you know.
Manny: Yeah, yeah. I know.
Manny: Okay, see you later, Chicken.
Glottis: Yeah. Okay.
Manny: Glottis… Glottis… Is that a German name?
Glottis: Oh, no. My roots lie not in any Earthly nation’s soil.
Glottis: I am an elemental spirit summoned up from the Land of the Dead itself and given one purpose, one skill, one desire:
Glottis: to DRIVE.
Glottis: Or, to change oil and adjust timing belts, if no driving jobs are open.
Manny: Nice hut.
Glottis: Yeah, I wonder how nice it would seem to you if you were TRAPPED in it all day like me.
Manny: If you hate your job, why don’t you quit?
Glottis: It’s not just a job. It’s what I was created to do.
Glottis: If I get any farther away from cars than this, I’ll get sick and die.
Glottis: It’s like I’m not happy unless I’m breathing in the thick, black, nauseating fumes…
Manny: Hmm. Can’t imagine.
Manny: Quick! There’s a fire! We have to drive the cars to safety!
Glottis: Nope. Not even a fire would get me outta here.
Glottis: I’m stuck here. Forever.
Manny: That makes two of us.
Manny: Alright, back in the shack, mac.
Glottis: Later oney, Boney.
Copal: Get in there and stay put until the boys downtown tell us what they want done with ya.
Copal: Someone’s gonna take the fall for this, Calavera, and it ain’t gonna be me!
Manny: Hey, what did they do with Glottis?
Manny: It looks like it dispenses something called “Fil-a-Dent.”
Manny: It stays here.
Manny: It came out like soft-serve ice cream, but judging by the smell, I think it’s auto-body filler.
Manny: It’s already full of that stuff.
Manny: Fil-a-Dent: good for dents, great for dentures!
Manny: I don’t see anyone out there.
Manny: Doesn’t open.
Manny: I could smash it with my scythe, but the noise would bring them all down on me in a second.
Manny: I’ve already escaped.
Manny: Hey, is anybody out there?
Manny: Hey, guard!
Limones: So, Manuel…
Limones: Have you thought about what you have done?
Limones: How’s my little Count of Monte Cristo?
Manny: Who’s out there?
Limones: I’m you.
Limones: Or rather, I was you years ago.
Manny: Yeah, well I’m me now, so get lost.
Manny: No, really. Who ARE you?
Limones: I am a fellow prisoner, my friend.
Manny: Maybe, but your cell is a lot bigger than mine, jailmate.
Manny: Cramped. Ready for walkies.
Manny: Hey, why don’t you open that door so we can talk about it?
Limones: The only way out, Manuel, is to be taken back in.
Limones: If you are truly still loyal to this company, declare it loudly.
Limones: The management might hear and stick you right back in their fold.
Limones: If you are still loyal–
Manny: Lay down and roll over and bark the company fight song, I know.
Manny: How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?
Limones: I do not care if you’re sorry. I want to know if you’re loyal.
Limones: Are you ready to reveal your loyalties?
Manny: Get me out of here!
Manny: I’m a sorry little skeleton. Now let me out!
Manny: I’m busy plotting my heroic escape.
Manny: I’m thinking about getting out and getting even. That’s it.
Manny: What are they going to do to me?
Limones: I don’t want to alarm you, Agent Calavera…
Limones: But have you ever seen a man SPROUTED?
Manny: Tell me that sprouting story again!
Limones: It’s not a bedtime story, Manuel…
Manny: Look, you gotta open that door for me, amigo.
Manny: Get cracked, flunky. I don’t need any chatter right now.
Limones: Hmmm… I see you still have a lot of anger issues, my friend.
Limones: I’ll come back when your head is clearer.
Manny: Yeah, well I got something they can stick in their fold…
Limones: You have to try harder than that Manuel.
Limones: A man’s loyalties decide his destiny.
Manny: My loyalty is still to the DOD, believe it or not.
Limones: Hmmm…Good boy.
Limones: You just keep up that spirit, and I’m sure you’ll get out of here soon enough.
Manny: The DOD runs a crooked game, and I intend to prove it.
Limones: You would do that?
Limones: That could cause this agency a lot of trouble…
Limones: I’ve heard you make threats in anger before.
Limones: My question is, would you really want to hurt the DOD?
Manny: Look, I did what I had to do. So what?
Manny: I ain’t saying nothing until my lawyer gets here.
Limones: Ha ha ha!
Limones: Oh, Manny, that is quite humorous.
Manny: No, I don’t go to those parties anymore.
Limones: Then you don’t know…
Manny: Yes, I think it was during pledge week.
Limones: Then you know…
Manny: Yeah, I saw this boxer get a pretty bad cauliflower ear once…
Manny: What do you mean, “sprouted?”
Limones: …there’s nothing more horrible than the bite of the sprouter.
Limones: Its deadly stinger spreads a green disease through every calcified pore on your body…
Limones: …leaving you veined with roots and flocked with grass…
Limones: …steadily growing thicker and thicker until you crash and bloom out…
Limones: …in a horrifying bouquet of pain and fragrant suffering…
Limones: …screaming until your mouth fills with petals and your nostrils shoot out thorny stems…
Limones: …and the bulbs sprout in your eyes…
Limones: …leaving you nothing but a patch of wildflowers on the ground, swarming with butterflies.
Manny: Are you done?
Manny: No, I’ve never seen that.
Manny: I love that story.
Manny: I’m gonna blow the lid off this place!
Limones: Young man, you are an enemy of the Department of Death!
Limones: Welcome to the club!
Manny: Well, no. But I am angry.
Limones: I see. Well, keep up the faith.
Manny: All I want is my job back!
Manny: It looks like a rope…
Manny: …but it’s really just a bunch of cheap ties tied together.
Manny: I wonder if Eva is looking at me right now.
Manny: I don’t like the way that eye is looking at me.
Manny: Agent Calavera, and two guests.
Manny: Agent Calavera here.
Manny: Check these babies out.
Manny: Got something here that might interest you.
Manny: It’s huge. I can’t open it.
Manny: That’s the door to the garage.
Manny: It’s the festival of the Day of the Dead.
Manny: Really more of a living person’s holiday, but we play along.
Manny: Those are some ugly ties.
Manny: I can’t believe I climbed up that thing.
Manny: It’s the loose end of the rope made of ties.
Manny: It’s pretty long, though…
Manny: I wonder if that’s how Domino meant it to be used.
Manny: You’d have to be crazy to climb on that.
Manny: Ay ay ay. It’s even scarier going down.
Manny: That ladder goes to the roof.
Manny: Domino’s in there.
Manny: Ah hah. There’s nobody in Domino’s office.
Manny: Domino locks his window.
Manny: Fear of pigeons, probably.
Manny: Not while Domino’s in there!
Manny: Hmmm… Dom’s office is empty.
Manny: No way. If I go any farther, Dom will see me and call the staff shrink to come talk me down.
Manny: The drapes are drawn–Dom and Don must still be in there.
Manny: The shutters are down–Don must be in there napping.
Manny: Looks like the Boss has gone fishing.
Manny: It looks like Don’s rigged his computer to automatically answer his intercom…
Manny: I’ll just change his auto-response here…
Copal: Not now, Eva!
Copal: It’ll have to wait! I’m in the middle of a very important meeting!
Copal: Didn’t I say no interruptions today?
Copal: Whatever it is, it will have to wait.
Copal: Ah, cripes, Eva! Just sign it yourself, will ya? I’m busy!
Copal: Eva, please. I need a little time alone.
Copal: Tell them the checks aren’t here yet!
Copal: I’m on the phone!
Copal: If you buzz me again, I swear I’ll jump out this window!
Copal: Are you trying to lose your job?
Manny: This place is a mess!
Manny: More junk I don’t have time to look through…
Manny: I would love to search Don’s office right now, but I’m late for the poisoning!
Manny: No time to ransack! Everybody’s at the poisoning but me!
Manny: I’ll come back after the poisoning and search the whole room!
Manny: Just thinking about Don’s file “system” gives me a cold chill.
Manny: “To all Employees of the Department of Death, Bureau of Acquisitions:
Manny: Employees who have made their sales quotas are invited to take the Day of the Dead as a holiday…
Manny: …as long as they make up the time lost on the following weekend.” Idiota!
Manny: “Memo from the desk of Don Copal:
Manny: Hey! Work orders are assigned by my office, and are not exchangeable among salesmen!
Manny: Swapping, selling, and especially STEALING work orders will result in SEVERE disciplinary action.”
Manny: So, this is where Copal sends out all the work orders.
Manny: Why don’t any of the good ones get to my office?
Manny: Hmmm… “Equal opportunity in the workplace is THE LAW…”
Manny: Amazing. This has been hanging up in Don’s office for so long and he’s apparently never read it.
Manny: Hey, that ledge doesn’t look so narrow from in here!
Manny: If I go out that way, everyone will know I was snooping around in here.
Manny: Ehhh, the living still give me the creeps.
Manny: Look at these poor saps…
Manny: Smiles as bright and wide as the blade on my scythe…
Manny: Soon, I’ll be coming for them.
Manny: Did I look like that when I was alive?
Manny: It’s the fear of Death that makes monsters of us all.
Manny: Scaring the living is technically against the rules, but we all do it.
Manny: If I scare them to death then they’ll become a customer, but I’ll get nailed with a conflict-of-interest rap.
Manny: Pssst. It’s me, Death. I’ll see you soon, okay?
Manny: I know you can’t hear me, but try to feel what I’m about to say deep down in your soul…
Manny: Don’t… eat… the… gazpacho…
Manny: Ah, fun’s fun, but I’ve got work to do.
Manny: Bound only by the paper-thin wrapper of mortality, a soul here lies, struggling to be free.
Manny: And so it shall, thanks to a bowl of bad gazpacho, and a man named Calavera.
Manny: I can’t carry the whole package outta here.
Manny: He’s got to shuffle off his mortal coil, then we can split.
Manny: I can’t use my bare hands. I’m a professional.
Bruno: Nice bathrobe.
Manny: Can’t take the living. They gotta go through channels.
Manny: I have to say, this food looks pretty good.
Manny: In this world, all I can do is look, smell, and reap.
Manny: I can’t reap hamburger.
Manny: Cows are a whole other bureau, not to mention the lettuce.
Manny: Truth be told, I’d rather be setting this milkshake’s soul free.
Manny: Can’t reap the milkshake. Can only smell it.
Manny: Mmmmm… smells like the perfect client…
Manny: Rich, and sweet!
Manny: Nope. I’m NOT leaving here without a client!
Manny: Copal would make a set of wind chimes outta me.
Manny: Ah! That smell!
Manny: One of the chemicals for our packing material comes out of there.
Manny: It’s a lump of our packing foam.
Manny: It’s a nasty chemical puddle.
Manny: No thanks. That stuff smells terrible, man.
Manny: I’m not getting that stuff all over my hands.
Manny: This balloon is filled with a dark chemical.
Manny: This balloon is filled with a light chemical.
Manny: For those who enjoy no-hassle travel.
Manny: Bruno? You in one of these?
Manny: Must have picked him up already.
Manny: He doesn’t even HIDE his booze in a file cabinet.
Manny: What kind of salesman is he?
Manny: That’s some premium-looking scotch.
Domino: Have some, Manny, just so you don’t forget what “premium” tastes like.
Manny: No messages in Dom’s fancy red tube.
Manny: He’s got a lock on it!
Manny: I can’t believe he doesn’t trust me!
Manny: Cheap, paper-mill diplomas!
Manny: Look at all the diplomas!
Domino: You have to have the proper attitude to get diplomas like those, Manny!
Manny: Really? I thought you just had to have the proper postage.
Manny: I got plenty of my own.
Manny: I’m going to try to guess his password…
Manny: Nope. It’s not “GOLDEN BOY.”
Manny: And it’s not “MR. D” either.
Manny: So much for “DOMMY.”
Manny: “ARROGANT FRAUD” doesn’t work…
Manny: Whew. I was scared it might be “EVA.”
Manny: Well, he likes “BOXING” too, but that ain’t it.
Manny: Not “GREED.”
Manny: Not “VANITY.”
Manny: Not “SLEAZE.”
Manny: I give up.
Manny: Hey, Dom. What’s your screen-saver password?
Domino: Get away from my computer, Manny.
Manny: It’s Domino Hurley, sweatiest man in the office.
Domino: You gotta sweat to sell, Cally, and you know it.
Manny: No piggyback rides today.
Manny: One of these days, I definitely will.
Manny: Domino’s in all these pictures, shaking hands with dead celebs.
Manny: Those pictures come with the frames?
Domino: That suit come with those holes?
Manny: Not interested.
Manny: Nothing else in there.
Manny: There’s something glowing in there.
Manny: Desk drawers? I don’t have desk drawers!
Domino: Hey! Get out of there, Calavera!
Manny: What the?
Manny: “Congratulations, Domino, on your new job! — Hector”
Manny: Doesn’t do much but glow.
Manny: I can’t even imagine a way to use coral there.
Manny: What a jock.
Manny: It’s got a perfect plaster cast of my teeth in it!
Manny: This mouthpiece is full of Fil-A-Dent.
Manny: It’s Domino’s mouthpiece.
Manny: Why am I carrying this around?
Manny: Acch. Domino had this in his mouth.
Manny: Yep. A perfect fit.
Manny: Wow, that made a perfect impression of my teeth.
Manny: ..and left quite a chalky aftertaste, too.
Manny: Well, now I know what Domino tastes like.
Manny: I don’t want to mess up my tooth-cast!
Manny: I don’t want to make an impression of that.
Manny: It’s meant for mouths.
Manny: Even the view out his window is better than mine, somehow.
Manny: I think Dom would call the company shrink if I left through the window.
Manny: I can’t go strolling through the halls now…I’m on the lam!
Manny: I’m on the lam!
Manny: (Sigh.) My old door.
Manny: Well, at least you’re not hitting the BOTTLE anymore.
Domino: Heeeyyy, Cally. How ya doin’?
Manny: Hey, Hurl!
Manny: So, how’d you make out at the poisoning?
Domino: Well, let’s just say that Sister Calabaza has a secret passion…
Domino: …for trains.
Manny: You got a nun?
Domino: Hail Mary.
Manny: And you sold her a ticket on the Number Nine train?
Domino: Choo-choo, little buddy.
Domino: Say, how’d you score?
Manny: I want to ask you a question.
Manny: Got another question for you.
Domino: Shoot, slugger.
Manny: I wanna tell you something.
Domino: Let’s have it.
Manny: I’ve got something else to tell you.
Domino: Good, go on and let it all out.
Domino: There’s no reason for you to be afraid of me.
Manny: I wanna punch you in the mouth.
Domino: Oh, no. Not the Christmas party all over again.
Domino: Not the Christmas party all over again.
Manny: What happened at the Christmas party?
Domino: Blacked out on the whole thing, huh?
Domino: Maybe you should switch to lemonade, kid.
Manny: I want a drink.
Domino: Oh, sure thing, Manny…
Domino: …but if your sales are down you should be hittin’ the STREET, not the SAUCE.
Manny: I just wanted to stop by and touch base. See ya!
Domino: That’s great.
Domino: We should do this more often.
Manny: Well, see ya in Limbo!
Manny: Well, you sound pretty out of breath, so I’m going to blow.
Domino: Always a pleasure, Cal.
Manny: So what’s the big idea, sending my driver home?
Domino: Frankly, Manny, I’m surprised you noticed.
Domino: You haven’t had much use for him lately.
Manny: Is it hard to kiss up to the boss so much with no lips?
Domino: Hey, I got all the lip I need.
Domino: I get it from you.
Manny: Can I have one of your clients?
Domino: Sure, Cal.
Domino: Just as soon as I get one I think you could handle…
Manny: I can handle anything you got.
Manny: Especially if that’s your best right jab.
Manny: Why do you get all the good clients?
Domino: You’re asking the wrong guy.
Domino: You should be taking a good long look at the man in the mirror.
Manny: No thanks. I don’t enjoy that the same way you do.
Manny: What did you do to get this job?
Domino: You mean, what’s my secret to success?
Manny: No, I mean how did you screw up and get stuck here at the DOD?
Manny: What sin did you commit and how long are you going to have to work here to pay it off?
Domino: I could easily ask the same question of you.
Manny: But I don’t know the answer. I still don’t know what I’ve done.
Domino: How convenient! Then neither do I.
Manny: On second thought, I bet I can figure it out on my own.
Domino: That’s right, Cal!
Domino: Give it the old college try!
Domino: Oh, whoops! I keep forgetting.
Domino: You didn’t go to college, did you?
Manny: Well, that’s all I wanted to ask. For now.
Domino: Well, kid, come back any time you feel like continuing your education.
Manny: You know, this used to be my office.
Domino: Yeah, I know.
Domino: I found your name on some comic books in the desk.
Manny: I want my office back.
Domino: Don’t worry, you’ll have years and years to enjoy it after I get promoted out and you’re still here.
Manny: I think you’re up to something.
Domino: Yeah, I’m up to about four premium sales this week.
Domino: Heh heh.
Manny: I think we should team up, be partners.
Domino: Oh, Manny, I would, but I’m too intimidated.
Domino: I could never be partners with someone who was so much more of a man than me.
Manny: Oh, come on.
Manny: I’ve seen your wife.
Manny: On second thought, I don’t.
Domino: Well, thank you for those words of wisdom.
Manny: Okay, that’s the end of the lecture.
Manny: I got a nun, too.
Domino: Bruno’s a pretty strange name for a nun, wouldn’t you say?
Manny: Well, you know how cruel sisters can be about nicknames.
Manny: I got two nuns, actually.
Domino: Hey, that reminds me of this really funny joke…
Manny: Heard it.
Manny: I got a mean midget I had to send parcel post.
Domino: Ah, cheer up, Buddy. Another day, another death, am I right?
Domino: Another day, another death, am I right?
Manny: None of your business, Hurley.
Domino: You’re right.
Domino: What went on between you and uh Bruno is your business.
Clown: Well, suuure!
Clown: Heck that’s easy.
Clown: There’s no limit on those!
Clown: You’ve had enough of those.
Manny: You said there was no limit!
Clown: Well, how many do you have on ya?
Clown: Yeah, well, there’s no limit up to five, then there’s a limit.
Clown: Did you lose the one I gave ya?
Clown: Well, then just enjoy that one for a while longer, all right?
Manny: “Pedro’s Deli – Food and Drink…”
Manny: …closed of course. Does EVERYBODY have the day off but me?
Manny: Looks like some sort of crafty mime.
Clown: Some of my finest work.
Manny: It’s a squeaky little kitty.
Manny: It’s just a regular-old balloon dog. I don’t see what’s so “dingo” about it.
Manny: This doesn’t look anything like Robert Frost.
Manny: It’s a deflated balloon.
Manny: I don’t got the lungs for it.
Manny: That’s not what balloons are for.
Manny: The Bread of the Dead.
Manny: Since I really didn’t get to celebrate the festival this year, I think I’m entitled to a little Pan de Muertos.
Manny: I’ll just take a little more bread, to honor the dead.
Manny: I’ve got some!
Manny: I’d get crumbs all over.
Manny: That wouldn’t be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.
Manny: Those crates are completely blocking the sidewalk.
Manny: What if there were a fire?
Manny: They’re just full of party favors, and I’m not in a party mood.
Manny: What’s goin’ down, clown?
Clown: Hey, back off, Suit.
Clown: I’m practicing.
Manny: Practicing what?
Clown: Wringing your neck, what does it look like?
Manny: Twist me up one of them, eh fella?
Clown: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Twist this, all right?
Manny: Bet ya can’t do a cat.
Clown: Shows what you know, buddy.
Clown: I can do anything.
Clown: I got yer mammals, I got yer reptiles…
Clown: I can do birds, amphibians, famous poets–Go ahead. Name one.
Manny: My kid wants another balloon animal.
Clown: Ah geez. What now?
Manny: Can I walk through your tent? I want to see the parade.
Clown: Well, walk through someone else’s tent, all right? Do I look like a turnstile to you?
Manny: Some festival, eh?
Clown: Yeah, yeah. Pretty busy.
Clown: My carpal tunnel syndrome is really acting up.
Manny: But you don’t have any… tendons…
Clown: Yeah, well you don’t have a tongue but that doesn’t seem to shut you up, now does it?
Manny: Could you teach me how to do that?
Clown: Well, um, since you’re a beginner, why don’t you practice the first step?
Manny: Which is?
Clown: Aaah! Popped another one!
Clown: Lousy bony fingers!
Manny: I have to go. That sound makes me want to kill somebody.
Clown: You too?
Manny: Okay, a cat.
Manny: Can I have another cat?
Clown: Pfft. No problem.
Manny: A dingo.
Manny: I’ll have another dingo, please.
Clown: That’s my specialty!
Manny: A dead worm.
Clown: Look, if I give you any more of those, you’ll be able to go into business for yourself.
Clown: So forget it.
Manny: Do you have any more dead worms back there?
Manny: Robert Frost.
Manny: Bet you can’t do Robert Frost again.
Clown: Trying to stump me, eh?
Manny: That doesn’t sound good.
Manny: I gotta stop doing this.
Brennis: Ah, not again!
Brennis: You trying to blow this joint sky high?
Brennis: That’s a magnesium-compound fire extinguisher!
Brennis: Spray that on this packing foam and we’ll both be riding the giant roman candle out of here.
Manny: What? Why would they put something so dangerous in here?
Brennis: I guess they didn’t expect this room to be full of hazardous waste!
Brennis: Good enough for government work!
Manny: That wheel should open it.
Manny: The wheel won’t turn, and the door won’t budge.
Manny: There must be something else keeping it shut.
Manny: The deadbolt looks set.
Manny: The deadbolt looks like it’s not set.
Manny: It’s held in place by the weight of the door.
Manny: There. I think that’s unlocked.
Manny: I’ve just locked an open door.
Manny: Strange, yet symbolically compelling…
Manny: It’s the wheel on the door.
Manny: The wheel won’t budge.
Manny: Ah, our cheerful communications maintenance staff is on the job.
Manny: That red tube looks familiar.
Manny: Mercedes Colomar, Client number 9308–blah blah blah…
Manny: …Died of chickenpox… time of death, yadda yadda yadda…
Manny: Positive Attributes: Volunteered time reading stories to dying children!
Manny: That’s good! That’s really good!
Manny: I think you’re it, Mercedes Colomar! I think you’re the one for me!
Manny: I think you’re the one for me!
Manny: Hmmm… too much air pressure.
Manny: I think that’s the other end of Domino’s message tube…
Manny: If I could just get in there…
Manny: There’s that dark chemical everywhere in there.
Manny: There’s that light chemical all over in there.
Manny: The switcher looks pretty gunked up.
Manny: It’s the sophisticated and delicate hub of all communications here in the Department of Death.
Manny: As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself.
Manny: Hi. I’m not getting any messages. Is the server down?
Brennis: This is their idea of a joke?
Brennis: They think it’s funny?
Brennis: I’d like to jam THEIR tubes with packing material, see how they like that!
Manny: Hey, I’m still not getting any messages.
Brennis: I’m giving you one right now, but you can’t see my hand.
Manny: So, you’re saying the server is down, is that it?
Brennis: The server is not down, it’s never DOWN.
Brennis: It’s just temporarily unavailable while I’m doing some maintenance, that’s all.
Manny: So, how long is it going to be down?
Brennis: With a job like this you never can tell.
Brennis: Probably hours.
Manny: Or until no one’s around to see you sneak out, Aye?
Brennis: Whichever comes first.
Manny: Can I squeeze in there, just for a sec?
Brennis: Are you kidding?
Brennis: This is a highly secured area.
Brennis: No one’s allowed in here who ain’t me.
Manny: What’s so special about you?
Brennis: I, sir, am an elemental spirit, summoned from the Land of the Dead itself…
Manny: Yeah, yeah, let me guess…
Manny: You were given one purpose, one skill, one desire: fixing pneumatic tube switchers?
Brennis: No, I was created to run the elevators, but they put in those dang motion detectors…
Brennis: …and put me outta work!
Manny: What’s all that stuff on the walls?
Brennis: It’s that carcinogenic crud they stick stiffs in across the hall.
Brennis: Hardened in the tubes like a big chili dinner.
Manny: Who would do a terrible thing like this?
Brennis: It’s those punks in the mail room!
Brennis: They think this baby’s going to put them out of a job.
Brennis: And they’re right!
Manny: You know, I really think it’s clean enough.
Brennis: Oh, it’s clean enough to run, all right.
Brennis: I’m just fiddling around to be safe, you know…
Brennis: Gotta cover my ass!
Manny: Yes you do.
Manny: Just curious–How’d you get in there?
Brennis: I squeezed down one of these tubes, like a pixie!
Brennis: How d’ya think I got in here?
Brennis: Through the door, just like you!
Manny: Well, I gotta split.
Brennis: Say, uh, Chatty Cathy…
Brennis: I got a lot of tubes to flush here…
Manny: Hey, me too. I’ll let you go.
Limones: You are a friend of the revolution, Agent Calavera, and now…
Limones: …let me be of service to you.
Manny: Salvador seems to be concentrating.
Manny: He can go up on our shoulders AFTER he wins the war.
Limones: EXCELLENT, Manuel!
Limones: With these, I can breed an entire ARMY of winged messengers!
Limones: Our revolution can spread now across the land, carried on the shimmering wings of justice, thanks to you…
Limones: …Agent Calavera!
Manny: I, myself, would also like to spread across the land…
Limones: But you can’t. We need your dental work here to access the computer.
Limones: I’m sorry, but freedom has its price!
Limones: I’m not sure what to make of that.
Limones: Why don’t you show it to my intelligence officer?
Manny: It’s my boss’ secretary’s evil twin!
Eva: Just me, honey.
Manny: Well, I guess I could, now that we’re not working together anymore.
Eva: Oh we’ll be working together again, if you want our help out of here.
Eva: Oooh, show those to Salvador!
Eva: Manny, this looks like a perfect impression of your teeth.
Eva: We can use this as a mold to make a fake set of teeth, and get into the computer system that way.
Limones: Good work soldier.
Manny: Will you lead me out of here now?
Limones: As soon as you bring us those eggs.
Eva: Oooh, what is that? Custard?
Manny: Try it.
Eva: No thanks. I’m watching my figure.
Eva: What’s that?
Manny: Domino’s mouthpiece. Think you can get a dental impression off of it?
Eva: No, the plastic’s so hard he didn’t leave a mark.
Manny: I don’t get it.
Limones: Nor do I Manuel, not yet.
Manny: I’d put on a hand-shadow show, but the mood just doesn’t feel right.
Manny: It’s a slide projector.
Manny: I think Salvador would get upset.
Limones: Manuel. I was looking at that.
Manny: Where does this go?
Limones: To a secret tunnel out of the city, but…
Limones: It opens for members of the LSA only.
Manny: It won’t budge.
Manny: This computer is shut off.
Limones: We salvaged that unit when the company threw it away, but we have yet to get it working.
Limones: When we do, we’ll need you to get us into the system.
Manny: I’ll be long gone before then.
Limones: We’ll see, Manuel.
Manny: That’s the elevator up.
Manny: Look, you got the eggs you wanted, now can I go?
Limones: Sorry, but your teeth… the revolution depends on your teeth.
Manny: Have you thought about using messages tied to balloons? I can get you plenty of balloons.
Manny: I can get you plenty of balloons.
Limones: PIGEONS, Manuel, bring me their EGGS!
Manny: Pues, okay.
Manny: I have a couple of things for show and tell…
Manny: Open that door, Sal, I’ve got places to go.
Limones: Does that mean you’re ready to join us?
Manny: Okay, I’m in. What do I have to do?
Manny: I’m not a joiner. Just pop the hatch and let’s part friends.
Limones: I’m sorry, but this is war, Manuel.
Limones: And you are the first draftee.
Manny: Do you know something I don’t know?
Limones: Have you ever wondered why your clients, even your BEST clients…
Limones: …never seem to qualify for the packages you know they deserve?
Manny: Yes, my last client in particular… Meche.
Limones: Well, they all DID qualify, Manuel. Especially her.
Limones: But somehow, somebody with access to the files has stolen their just rewards, their sweet hereafters…
Manny: Their tickets on the Number Nine?
Limones: Precisamente, amigo.
Manny: What would they do with the tickets?
Limones: A ticket on the Number Nine is like a leaf of gold, Manuel.
Limones: Especially to one who has died with a less-than-perfect record.
Limones: Someone is profiting here from those that would buy their way into Heaven.
Manny: But money’s not important here. We all just want out.
Limones: YOU want to get out, Manuel, and so do I someday.
Limones: But for some people, this world is all there is.
Limones: They have decided to seek pleasure and happiness here in the Eighth Underworld, and for that, you need money.
Manny: Just who’s in on this deal?
Limones: Don Copal had the access–he could open any account and transfer a ticket voucher to another.
Limones: We believe he would then pass the case on to Domino Hurley, who would cover their tracks…
Manny: So that menso WAS getting all the good clients!
Limones: You got some too, Manuel, you just didn’t know it.
Limones: Domino only got a case if the character of the client were obviously so deserving…
Manny: Like Meche…
Manny: Do you know who’s behind it all?
Limones: Copal and Hurley couldn’t have done it all on their own, without help from downtown.
Limones: There is a powerful player in this game who’s identity remains a mystery to me.
Manny: What do you want from me?
Limones: I am going to build an underground army of souls to fight the injustice I have seen in El Marrow.
Limones: Communication will become vital as the Lost Souls’ Alliance spreads out.
Limones: We’ll need messengers we can trust.
Manny: You want me to be your messenger?
Limones: No, Manuel. Our numbers are small and our agents are too valuable to risk that sort of work.
Limones: History shows only one messenger to be of use to a cause like ours:
Limones: CARRIER PIGEONS!
Manny: If I grab some pigeons off the roof, will you let me go?
Limones: No, I need to raise them from birth, Agent Calavera–
Limones: I need you to bring me their eggs!
Manny: You’re keeping me here because you need the eggs?
Limones: Why are you still here, Calavera?
Limones: Go get me an air force before it hatches!
Manny: I’m off.
Limones: Farewell, Agent Calavera, and…
Limones: Now, that’s all the briefing you need, soldier!
Limones: Viva la RevoluciÛn!
Manny: So, you’re not really a secretary?
Eva: I’m a spy, Manny.
Manny: Well, that’s the last time we use THAT temp agency.
Manny: Why won’t you help me out?
Eva: I need your teeth, remember?
Manny: Did I mention it’s been great working with you?
Eva: Ditto, kid.
Manny: I have a little craft project here I want to show you.
Manny: Any messages for me?
Eva: Yes: “Join or Die!”
Manny: But I’m already–
Manny: Eva, you gotta get me out of town. They’re going to sprout me!
Eva: You can’t leave, Manny.
Eva: We need access to the DOD computer network if we’re ever gonna find out what’s going on.
Eva: And we can’t access without a salesman like you. The computer ID’s you when you log on.
Manny: How does it do that?
Manny: I don’t have any!
Eva: Your teeth, Manny. Haven’t you ever noticed your computer scanning your teeth when you log on?
Manny: I thought that was just a power surge.
Eva: We need your teeth Manny, we can’t let you go.
Manny: Doesn’t Copal wonder where you are?
Eva: Don and Domino are both locked up in Don’s office with some bigwig from downtown.
Eva: Some fatty in a fez.
Limones: Hmmmm. Who is the fat man, I wonder, and how does he fit into this sinister puzzle?
Eva: Anyway, don’t get any ideas about raiding Domino’s liquor cabinet.
Eva: We need sober soldiers.
Manny: How long have you been a spy?
Eva: Salvador recruited me about a year ago.
Eva: I couldn’t resist him–he’s just so… noble!
Manny: What are you working on there?
Eva: I’m trying to get this radio working so we can use it in the field.
Eva: But it looks pretty hopeless.
Eva: Salvador’s right–we need good old-fashioned homing pigeons to communicate with our field agents.
Manny: You have field agents?
Eva: No, it’s just Sal and me right now, but someday, Manny…
Manny: I’m off.
Eva: Fight the good fight, babe.
Manny: So, you won’t help me out of here?
Eva: Sorry. I’ll help YOU out, but not your teeth.
Eva: Think it over.
Manny: Yeah, beat it you lousy little ledge-peckers!
Manny: Watch it!
Manny: Get ’em off me!
Manny: Back off, birds!
Manny: I’m warning you little roof-chickens, show some respect.
Manny: Not the suit! It’s the last one I got!
Manny: Just a couple crumbs and shreds of latex.
Manny: Ah–the pigeons obviously like this dish vent.
Manny: There’s a not-very-scary balloon in there.
Manny: There’s something in there.
Manny: It’s part of the roof!
Manny: I prefer to eat out of clean dishes that aren’t nailed to the roof.
Manny: I think I should get out of here with these eggs before those vent-vultures come back.
Manny: Maybe that will scare them… Eventually.
Manny: These babies are going to war!
Manny: I only eat them poached.
Manny: I don’t want to break them!
Manny: So that’s where the vermin come from.
Manny: Man, are those pigeons gonna be ticked!
Manny: You must come with me, young ones, for I am the Grim Reaper.
Manny: Salvador is your daddy now.
Manny: I don’t like the looks of those pigeons.
Manny: They’re everywhere!
Manny: I think they’re looking at me.
Manny: They seem to be plotting something.
Manny: If they all attacked at once, they could carry me off and I’d never be heard from again.
Manny: I don’t have a net, or a desire to have a pet pigeon.
Manny: Plus, Salvador needs to raise them from BIRTH.
Manny: Hmmm. They don’t look scared.
Manny: I think they’re actually laughing at me.
Manny: They might not know how much scarier a dingo is than a regular dog.
Manny: Run you pigeons! It’s Robert Frost!
Manny: Stare into this glowing rock and feel your eyelids getting heavy…
Manny: What are ya? Too dumb to be hypnotized?
Manny: This oughta scare them…
Manny: Fearless little smog-squabs.
Manny: Don’t make me touch you with this!
Manny: It’s got Domino Hurley’s germs all over it!
Manny: I think I’m only scaring myself.
Manny: If I just hand it to them, I’m liable to lose a finger or two.
Manny: That was some tunnel–I’m all the way to the edge of the Petrified Forest!
Manny: Ah, El Marrow. My home town.
Manny: May I never see it again.
Manny: Not going back there for a while.
Manny: That Salvador really knows how to do this espionage thing with style.
Manny: After all I did to get out of town?
Manny: I am NEVER going back to that place again!
Manny: At least, not without Meche.
Glottis: …ZZZzzz ZZZzzz…
Glottis: …zzzz… zzz… zzzZZZZZKKK!
Glottis: Ck! Klft! Kluhch!
Glottis: …ZZZZZ… zzzzz…
Glottis: …Zzzz… Zzzz…
Glottis: … zzzZZZZzzz…
Glottis: Mmmm… mmddlmmmmrrr…
Glottis: zzzz… heh heh heh… zzzz…
Glottis: Rrrrrmmm, Rrrrrrmmm!
Glottis: Baaaaaaaa, Baaaaaaaah!
Glottis: Outta the way!
Glottis: Look out!
Manny: Wanna go for a ride?
Glottis: I thought you’d never ask!
Glottis: Waaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah!
Glottis: A-hoo hoo hoo…
Manny: Glottis, my friend!
Manny: Why are you crying?
Glottis: Oh, Manny!
Glottis: They fired me!
Manny: Me too, buddy!
Glottis: You don’t understand, Manny!
Glottis: I was created just to do that job! It’s the only thing that makes me happy!
Glottis: A demon without a job is like a demon without a HEART!
Glottis: It’s like they reached into my chest…
Glottis: …and pulled out my heart!
Glottis: And threw it into the woods to…
Glottis: …to… oooh… ooohh… to… to die…
Manny: Glottis! What have you done!
Manny: Oh Glottis…
Manny: I’m not carrying this thing any farther if it’s going to keep pointing the other way like that.
Manny: It’s demoralizing.
Manny: I think he threw his heart somewhere over here…
Manny: I wonder how long he can live without a heart?
Manny: I’d need a fifty-foot crane and a flatbed truck.
Manny: Wake up, buddy!
Manny: He’s not dead yet!
Manny: What am I saying? He’s a spirit of the land–he can’t die!
Manny: That’s not the body part he’s missing.
Manny: This sign post seems to be pointing the way to Rubacava.
Manny: Nah, it’s too well-anchored.
Manny: I could carve my initials in it, but I don’t think that would help.
Manny: My scythe is sharp enough to cut the paper-thin, mortal coils of men…
Manny: …not petrified birch four-by-fours.
Manny: If I were Scottish, I might be able to play something on it, but I’m not.
Manny: This heart belongs to Glottis, nowhere else.
Manny: It would be cleaner if I picked it up with my hands.
Manny: He wasn’t kidding–he really loves to drive!
Manny: It says, “Bone Wagon” on the side.
Manny: That’s no way to treat the Bone Wagon.
Manny: I think the only bones this thing was meant to haul around are mine.
Glottis: I ain’t driving back to town, Manny!
Manny: I can’t just leave Glottis laying there. He could be dying!
Glottis: If you want to go back to that no-good town, you can go without me!
Manny: I’ve got a creepy feeling about this place.
Glottis: We can’t fit down there!
Manny: How am I going to get the Bone Wagon over these boulders?
Manny: I could hoof it, but I’d never make it all the way out of the forest that way…
Manny: That road is full of boulders.
Glottis: Manny, this is a low-riding street rod, not a four-by-four!
Glottis: We don’t have the clearance for that kinda road.
Glottis: I’m telling you Manny, we don’t have the clearance for that kinda road.
Manny: There’s a clearing just up ahead.
Manny: Okay, I don’t know what those weird noises are, but I think I’d rather go find out in the safety of the Bone Wagon.
Manny: These spiders have Glottis’ heart in their web!
Manny: And a bone, but that’s my fault.
Manny: What can they catch in that? Owls?
Manny: Oh, poor spiders. No more demon heart to eat.
Manny: I’m not getting my hands tangled up in that!
Manny: There’s already a bone in there.
Manny: Soup’s on!
Manny: It’s still beating.
Manny: Ugh! It’s stuck in there good.
Manny: It’s an ugly pile of bones, like me.
Manny: I guess I could always use a spare.
Manny: I don’t need any more. I’m practically MADE of them.
Manny: I’ll just drop this one. I’m carrying around too many of those already.
Manny: They don’t seem very interested in that bone I put in there.
Manny: I’m not putting my hands anywhere near that web.
Manny: Ay Chihuahua.
Manny: Ewwww. Something has sucked the marrow out.
Manny: I like to save bones for special occasions.
Manny: No place for a bone there.
Manny: Hey, wait a second…
Manny: The sign looks like it’s pointing to one of those dark passageways.
Manny: Well, it’s pointing SOMEWHERE.
Manny: I can’t see where this dark passage leads.
Manny: That’s kinda cool.
Glottis: Uh-oh! Crazy road!
Glottis: Too crazy for the Bone Wagon!
Glottis: Manny, I’m scared of that sign.
Manny: You know, if I had had a car like this when I was alive, things would have been different.
Manny: It looks like some sort of warning sign…
Manny: “They’ll tear you apart, bone by bone…
Manny: …and build with you a human throne.
Manny: Their buck-toothed king will sit upon
Manny: What once was you, but now is gone.
Manny: This key unlocks the gates of Hell.
Manny: Steady traveler, use it well.”
Manny: I’ll leave the sign here to warn others.
Manny: Can’t pass up an old, creepy key!
Manny: It’s the key to the gates of Hell, I seem to recall.
Manny: Doesn’t do much by itself.
Manny: That doesn’t look like “The Gates of Hell” to me.
Manny: Okay, the Beasts of Black River are blowing bubbles at the bottom.
Manny: So let’s power on through, huh Glot?
Glottis: Manny, look at that bad-ass gate. I can’t drive through that.
Glottis: We have to find the key!
Manny: Come on Glottis, let’s crash through this gate and drive right over those little monsters!
Glottis: Nnnooo way, Manny!
Glottis: Those flaming bone-beavers are mean–They bite, they claw…
Glottis: And if one of them wrapped around my driveshaft, I’d be picking flaming hunks of fur outta my U-joint for months!
Glottis: I’m not going down there until you get rid of them.
Glottis: Manny, I don’t know if I like driving over people.
Manny: They can’t feel it. They’re dead.
Glottis: You’re dead, and I wouldn’t wanna drive over you.
Manny: That’s because you and I, Glottis…
Manny: Are friends.
Glottis: Oh, Manny…
Manny: I wonder if this thing is rated for rodents.
Manny: That’s not on fire.
Manny: Run for your lives, you buck-toothed glow-balls!
Manny: I’m gonna put out your lights, my friends.
Manny: My name’s Manny Calavera and I’m your new travel agent!
Manny: Come on and fight, you platypuses.
Manny: Yeah, ya like that?
Manny: Plenty more where that came from.
Manny: That road leads out of the forest, I’m sure, but I don’t think I’d get very far on foot.
Manny: Plus, how could I leave without Glottis?
Manny: These monsters have made a dam out of human bones.
Manny: I’m thinking the next project should be wings.
Manny: This river seems to be made of tar.
Manny: But those beavers just seem to cut through it like water.
Manny: I forgot my tar ladle.
Manny: No, I don’t think I could swim a single stroke in that tar.
Manny: Look at him go!
Manny: I don’t want to catch the little flame rat.
Manny: There’s a big, old padlock on this outer gate.
Manny: Nah, I can’t break it off.
Manny: Looks pretty strong, and I don’t have the key.
Manny: This outer gate is huge!
Manny: I’ll need Glottis to open it.
Manny: With those monsters on the other side, I’m happier with this thing locked.
Manny: Maybe I’ll just keep the lock on, until I can assess the situation, dam-side.
Manny: That’s one dark, bumpy road.
Manny: I get the feeling there’s something on the other side of this gate that I’m not going to like.
Glottis: MANNY! What are you doing?
Manny: Aiee, don’t sneak up on me like that!
Glottis: Don’t you know what’s on the other side of that gate?
Manny: Yeah, the way out of the forest.
Glottis: Demon beavers, Manny! They’ll make you into a dam!
Manny: Relax Geppetto, I’m not made of wood.
Glottis: But Manny!
Glottis: They don’t use wood…
Manny: HÌjole Mano!
Manny: What sort of unholy Christmas tree farm is this, Glottis?
Glottis: Manny, check out this wheelbarrow, will ya?
Glottis: With a couple ATV nubbie tires on the back and a two-stroke lawnmower engine, we could make one SWEET go-cart!
Glottis: That should do it!
Glottis: Oooh, careful, Manny.
Glottis: With the harmonic balancer turned off, those pumps might shake that tree apart!
Glottis: Oh! But!
Glottis: If we shook the tree down, those pumps would dislodge, and I could make high-lift shocks out of them for the Bone Wagon!
Glottis: Hold on, I’m going to un-balance that wheel with some of these weights.
Glottis: That’ll shake her down for sure!
Glottis: Hey, while you have that off, let me try moving those weights around some more.
Glottis: Okay, just give me a second to balance these doggies!
Glottis: Now, no monkey business this time, Calavera!
Glottis: I’m gonna close my eyes this time for an extra rush.
Glottis: Okay, last time.
Glottis: That was a dirty trick, Manny!
Manny: Oh, it was an accident–I bumped the switch with my elbow!
Manny: Wasn’t me this time–these kids did it!
Manny: I don’t know how that happened, but I think it was an electrical short.
Manny: I wasn’t even NEAR that switch!
Manny: You said to turn it on!
Glottis: I did?
Manny: Yes. Don’t say something like that unless you mean it.
Manny: Okay, I did it that time. I couldn’t resist.
Glottis: Oh, okay.
Glottis: You know, that’s actually kind of fun.
Glottis: Maaaaaannnnyyyy! What are you doooooooiiiiinnnnnnggggg?
Glottis: Mannnny! Yooooouuuu prooooommmmiiiiiiised!
Manny: Outside of the entertainment value, that didn’t do what I had hoped.
Manny: Still not enough.
Glottis: Hey, maybe if I moved them around a little…
Manny: There’s nothing back here but more spooky woods.
Manny: There’s no door on this trailer. I think it’s just a big generator.
Manny: No trailer hitch on the Bone Wagon.
Manny: The switch is up.
Manny: The switch is down.
Manny: I’ve broken it. Fun’s over.
Manny: This forest sucks the marrow out of everything.
Manny: I’d climb it myself, but I don’t want to take all the fun away from Glottis.
Manny: He looks a little dizzy.
Manny: He looks much better with his heart not ripped out.
Manny: That wheel should really be shaking the tree down, don’t you think?
Manny: Glottis, what are they doing to that tree?
Glottis: Oh, City Boy!
Glottis: You work all day in a sixty-story skyscraper, but didn’t you ever wonder what it was made of?
Glottis: The marrow of these trees, Manny, they suck it out, it’s like cement!
Manny: Is that why the town’s called, “El Marrow?”
Glottis: Huh… Never thought of that…
Glottis: MAYBE SO!
Manny: This place gives me the creeps.
Glottis: I’m ready to go when you are.
Manny: Remember this spot, baby. This is where you got your legs.
Manny: I’m sure it helps the handling, but did he have to make it SO low to the ground?
Manny: I can’t drive that thing!
Manny: That WOULD make a decent go-cart…
Manny: I don’t want to drive this thing all over the forest!
Glottis: You will once I get that two-stroke in there vroom vroom — heh, heh.
Manny: That’s the road back.
Manny: That’s the kind of hike I just don’t need.
Manny: I wish Glottis would hide that thing!
Manny: Glottis, you’ve got to hide that car!
Glottis: In a minute Manny, I’m talking to Mr. Dockmaster here.
Glottis: Oh, all right, just give me a few more minutes in the driver’s seat here…
Manny: I’ve always wanted one of those jackets.
Manny: He’s fine right where he is.
Manny: I’m not done reading it yet.
Manny: Velasco’s log book says Celso’s wife took a bunk with a hunk.
Manny: I can’t throw away Velasco’s logbook.
Manny: I think I’ll wait for the fog to clear before I try exploring town again.
Manny: That’s the way back to the forest…
Manny: …the spiders…
Manny: …the city…
Manny: …my old job…
Manny: Let’s hope I never have to take that road again.
Manny: That’s the road we came in on.
Manny: Looks like a cafeteria in there.
Manny: Ever seen this woman?
Velasco: Oh, if this is the woman you’re looking for, take my advice…
Velasco: Forget about her!
Velasco: She sailed out of here weeks ago in a cozy portside cabin built for two, and she wasn’t alone.
Manny: You sure a woman named Mercedes Colomar never came through this town?
Velasco: She might have, I don’t know!
Velasco: I told you the first time, I’m no good with names!
Glottis: Hey, Manny!
Glottis: Dockmaster Velasco here says he’s got a place we can dry-dock the Bone Wagon for a while.
Velasco: Oh, yeah–we can’t leave a beauty like this out in the fog, or her chrome will get pitted.
Glottis: Pitted? Did you hear that, Manny?
Velasco: You folks gonna stay in Rubacava for a spell?
Manny: Say, there, Velasco…
Manny: How do you know she sailed out of here? I don’t believe it!
Velasco: It’s a tough break junior, but you gotta face it!
Velasco: Here! Look it up in my port log if you want it in writing!
Velasco: Six weeks ago on a Tuesday. Ticket for two, paid in full!
Velasco: I cracked the champagne on the bow myself!
Manny: We’re here looking for a woman named Mercedes Colomar.
Velasco: I’m not too good with names…
Velasco: Did she have any distinguishing marks or a tattoo?
Manny: Not that she showed me.
Velasco: Well, like I said, I’m as good with names as you are with the fog…
Velasco: Heh heh.
Manny: I might be here a while. Is there any work in this town?
Velasco: Oh, there’s lot’s of work down at the docks, but it’s all union work.
Velasco: Eh-heh, a-and I just don’t see you in that union (huh, huh, huh).
Manny: How do you get around here with all the mist?
Velasco: Ah-uh, when you’ve strolled these docks as long as I have, pilgrim…
Velasco: You know where you are by smell of the sea, by the sound of the lonely fog horn…
Velasco: …by the icy touch of the cold, salty air.
Glottis: Manny? Could I have an eyepatch?
Manny: Can I just ask–what IS under the eyepatch?
Manny: …because I KNOW it’s not an eye.
Velasco: Oh, well, when I was alive I had an eye patch like this…
Velasco: …this one’s just for the phantom pain…
Velasco: And that one eye socket used to scream like a banshee when the trade winds blew, so I plugged her.
Glottis: Well, actually, it’s mostly stock, with a few mods here and there…
Velasco: So would those be glass packs I’m hearing, or turbos?
Glottis: There was this one high-pitched whine it was making–really grating noise, you know?
Glottis: And I searched and searched, but I couldn’t find the source of the noise, until we pulled in here.
Velasco: Was it the blower?
Glottis: No, it was Manny screaming in the back like a cat tied to a cruise missile!
Velasco: Ah-ha ha! That’s a good’n.
Manny: Well, don’t let me interrupt your car talk.
Velasco: Ah, yes… where was I…
Velasco: Oh, yeah! So anyway…
Glottis: Hey, Manny, we WERE in the middle of a conversation here…
Manny: Hey, hey, okay.
Velasco: Look, I know how you feel son.
Velasco: Once I lost a very special lady myself.
Velasco: I waved to her from the docks as she sailed out of port and I never saw her again.
Manny: What was her name?
Velasco: The “SS Lamancha” was her name…
Velasco: But don’t make me talk about her ‘cuz I…I just can’t do it.
Manny: Celso, your wife sailed out of here two months ago, with another man.
Manny: It’s all in there.
Celso: Oh, Manny.
Celso: Is there a greater constant in nature than the treachery of women?
Manny: Forget about her, Celso.
Celso: Have you forgotten yours?
Celso: I’m going after her.
Celso: You take over my job here–
Celso: This mop, at least, will never let you down.
Celso: That compass in the handle will sure come in handy, too!
Manny: Good to see one of my clients doing well.
Manny: This guy looks familiar…
Manny: All these door have numbers and pictures of food on them…
Manny: What’s number #22
Manny: Wow. It’s been a long time since I had a tongue.
Manny: Hey, how do I open these?
Celso: You wait ’til we start serving, that’s how.
Manny: I hate the way mustard spouts get all crusted like that.
Manny: The glove compartment on the Bone Wagon is FULL of tiny ketchup and mustard packets…
Manny: Not to mention soy sauce–I really don’t need any more.
Manny: I have bigger things on my mind right now than condiments.
Manny: Hmmm… maybe I should place a personal ad…
Celso: I tried it, believe me: It attracts the WRONG kind of women.
Manny: It’s Celso’s wife–Actually I don’t think skin would help.
Manny: I can’t throw it away. I said I’d help.
Manny: It’s the door outside.
Manny: Mr. Flores?
Manny: I’m ready to take you now.
Celso: Manny Calavera? Is that you?
Celso: Didn’t you used to be…
Manny: Are you sure I can’t sleep in the back?
Celso: There’s only room for one.
Manny: How about in the attic?
Celso: That’s the boss’ office. You can sleep there when you’re the boss.
Manny: I could sleep out here on the counter.
Celso: Our customers may all be dead, Manny, but we still care about hygiene.
Manny: I could sleep under the sink in the kitchen.
Celso: The rats would steal your toes in your sleep.
Manny: Look, I need a job and I need a place to stay.
Celso: I told you, you can have mine…
Celso: …when I’m done waiting for my wife.
Manny: I’m here to reclaim that walking stick.
Celso: I broke it over the head of some hideous monsters in the forest.
Manny: Did they look like little fireballs with big teeth?
Celso: Yes, but they weren’t little, and they DEFINITELY were not in your brochures.
Manny: I’m looking for a woman named Mercedes Colomar.
Celso: Well, no one’s come through town by that name, and you can take it from me.
Celso: I, too, am looking for someone, so I watch the comings and goings around here VERY carefully.
Manny: Who are you looking for?
Celso: Well, if you must know, it’s about my wife…
Celso: I got word that she passed away not long after I, and that she, too, was crossing the Land of the Dead on foot.
Celso: It is said that all lost souls come to Rubacava, so I came here to wait for her.
Manny: You must love her very much, Celso.
Celso: Yes, this is true…
Celso: Of course, she also has all of my money…
Manny: How do you know your wife hasn’t gone ahead of you?
Celso: Oh, Manny–If she had arrived here first, SURELY she would have waited for me!
Manny: What are you doing here?
Manny: I’ll help you find your wife. What did she look like?
Celso: Oh, here.
Celso: I got this from the DOD, and made copies to hand out.
Celso: Isn’t she something?
Manny: She must have been beautiful with skin.
Celso: Weren’t we all?
Manny: So, know a good place to stay in town?
Celso: What’s your price range?
Manny: Somewhere around the high-end of nothing.
Celso: Then maybe, young man, it’s time you started thinking about a job.
Manny: Can you get me a job here?
Celso: Have any skills?
Celso: Well, that does qualify you for a certain position, but…
Celso: We only have one mop.
Manny: Where do you stay?
Celso: They let me sleep in the back here, part of the benefits of the job.
Manny: Sweet gig.
Manny: Any room in the back for me?
Celso: Not in my cot, slick.
Celso: But I tell you what, when my wife and I leave town, I’ll hand over my cot and broom to you, okay?
Celso: It’s about time you had a RESPECTABLE job.
Manny: Well, I’d better go see how my other clients are doing…
Celso: If you say so, Manny.
Celso: I’m sorry Manuel, I’ve got to get this place ready to open…
Manny: Right. I’ll let you know if I see your wife.
Celso: She’ll be the one asking for her beloved Celso.
Bogen: This is an outrage!
Bogen: I bet on number two, why didn’t it come up number two?
Croupier: Ah Monsieur, je suis vraiment dÈsolÈ, I do not pick ze winners.
Croupier: These things are all controlled by the man upstairs.
Bogen: Well, please tell the “Man Upstairs” that Police Chief Bogen was very upset when he left…
Bogen: …and when he returns later this evening, he would prefer to have better luck!
Croupier: Oui, Monsieur. Bon soir.
Croupier: I will definitely tell him.
Manny: Ah, lady luck!
Manny: I’ve always meant to hide that better.
Manny: My desk drawer.
Manny: Oh, that’s where I put Sal’s little letters…
Manny: Ah to sleep…
Manny: …perchance to have nightmares about spiders and beavers.
Manny: No moving furniture when I’m in my tux.
Manny: Can’t. What if Meche makes her big arrival and I sleep through it?
Manny: Can’t. I’d miss my boat.
Manny: My “Wartime Communications” from Salvador…
Manny: He’s been sending me messages like this for the last year:
Limones: Agent Calavera, I have word that you arrived in Rubacava safely.
Limones: This is great news, as your service to the L.S.A. may now continue.
Limones: I am pleased to report the successful hatching of the eggs you liberated.
Limones: The hatchlings, which Eva has named “Manny” and “Meche,” are quite healthy and eager to serve our cause.
Limones: With luck, my next letter will be borne to you across the sky by these young, gossamer wings of truth.
Limones: For the revolution,
Limones: –Salvador Limones.
Limones: Calavera, it is indeed a great day for the revolution!
Limones: Say hola to little Manny, the first enlisted messenger to serve the L.S.A!
Limones: Please feed him some bread crumbs and send him back quickly, so we may know that our maiden flight was a success.
Limones: Manuel, I am sorry to hear that you have not heard from your Meche.
Limones: You must be patient, and let your heart remain open.
Limones: If it is meant to be, you will someday be reunited.
Manny: Ah, he still thinks I’m in love with her!
Eva: Congratulations, Manny!
Eva: Sal and I were so proud when we heard about your promotion!
Eva: Before you know it, you’re going to be head cook!
Limones: Manuel, we have found the head of the serpent!
Limones: Using the computer access you provided us, we picked up a thread that lead us to the man who corrupted the Department of Death!
Limones: His name is Hector LeMans.
Limones: Once a small-time racketeer, he has grown fat and powerful by robbing the newly-dead.
Limones: Watch out for the name Hector LeMans, Manuel, and be careful.
Limones: Dear Friend,
Limones: Our movement now has true momentum, and our numbers are rapidly growing.
Limones: Much of this is due to our communications and intelligence systems, both of which we owe to you.
Limones: In light of your contributions, I would like to announce your promotion to SPECIAL Agent status.
Limones: I, Salvador Limones, of the Lost Souls’ Alliance, salute you Manuel Calavera.
Limones: You are a great ally in this noble revolution.
Limones: Great news — we’ve discovered a new, secret talent of our tiny messengers!
Limones: We don’t know how they do it, but these mysterious birds can actually find their targets…
Limones: …JUST BY LOOKING AT A PHOTOGRAPH of the addressee.
Limones: To celebrate, Eva has made them all little berets–I’ll send you some pictures!
Limones: Manuel, I am troubled by reports of you buying the automat and converting it into a night club.
Limones: It’s fine for you to be comfortable in Rubacava for your long stay, but I pray you haven’t lost sight of the larger goals…
Limones: It is not this world, but the next, in which our true glory lies.
Manny: I just got this one today:
Limones: Beware Manuel, for you are in grave danger!
Limones: Somehow rumor has spread on the streets of El Marrow of your presence in Rubacava.
Limones: If this information reaches Hector LeMans, he surely will send his evil operatives after you.
Limones: You must give up your search for Mercedes for the time being, and please…
Limones: Be out of Rubacava on the next ship!
Manny: I think he’s exaggerating the danger a little, but I do feel pretty stupid for putting my name on the big sign.
Lupe: Hey, this is a card from my new coat check system!
Lupe: YOU DO CARE!
Manny: Can I have my coat please?
Lupe: YOU BET!
Lupe: THIS IS SO EXCITING!
Lupe: Okay, okay, okay…
Lupe: Hold on…
Lupe: 22, 22, 22…
Lupe: Lengua… Lengua…
Lupe: Leeeeeeennnnguuuaaaaa-ha ha!
Lupe: HERE IT IS!
Lupe: OH DARN!
Manny: What’s wrong!
Lupe: JUST SHOOT ME!
Manny: Lupe! What is it?
Lupe: This can’t be yours!
Manny: That’s it. Thanks.
Lupe: What are you doing with a tiny girl jacket?
Manny: I don’t suppose there was a camera back there anywhere?
Lupe: Uh…. no.
Manny: She must have hidden that somewhere else…
Manny: I-I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Lupe: I have a note for you from Lola!
Lupe: Yes! Now, where is it?
Lupe: Where, where, where, where?
Lupe: I have a whole new system for messages…
Lupe: Just let me…
Lupe: No, no, wait.
Lupe: Be quiet!
Lupe: HERE IT IS!
Lupe: Wait a second… it’s empty.
Lupe: There was something inside, it felt like a key.
Manny: A key?
Lupe: Yesss! But did somebody come back here and snake the key while I was sorting the coats?
Lupe: Who would do that?
Lupe: They messed up my WHOLE SYSTEM!!!
Lupe: MANNY! OOH!
Lupe: Come here!
Manny: Looks like Lupe’s been in the sugar again.
Manny: Not my employees.
Lupe: Hey, I’ll bet that’s the key from Lola’s note.
Lupe: I don’t check keys, Manny.
Lupe: You’ll have to designate a driver.
Lupe: Thirty six? That number’s not even a part of my system, Manny!
Lupe: And I don’t think I’d let somebody check an old rusty anchor back here, anyway.
Manny: Here you go.
Lupe: GREAT! LET ME GET YOU A CARD…
Manny: You already gave me one.
Lupe: WHAT? WHAT NUMBER WAS ON IT???
Manny: I can’t remember. I lost it.
Lupe: ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY?
Manny: I just got this thing!
Manny: It’s Lola’s jacket.
Manny: Poor Lola. If I only had her camera or that film…
Manny: I could really get Nick.
Manny: I’m not doing that with Lola’s jacket!
Manny: There’s a little slip of paper in one of the pockets…
Manny: Nothing else.
Manny: All that this paper says is, “No. 36 – The Rusty Anchor.”
Manny: What is THAT supposed to mean?
Manny: I can’t make anything of it!
Manny: Those are the stairs to my office.
Manny: Evening, Lupe.
Lupe: Hi Manny!
Lupe: I’M SO EXCITED!!!
Lupe: I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY NEW ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEM FOR THE COATS!
Manny: Think she’ll come in tonight?
Lupe: Manny, you ask me that every night…
Lupe: …what am I supposed to say?
Manny: You’re supposed to say, “Yes, I think tonight’s the night.”
Lupe: Yes, I think tonight’s the night…
Lupe: That you finally go nuts from waiting for the grand entrance of Ms. Mercedes Colomar!
Manny: Well, you could be a little more encouraging.
Lupe: I just hate seeing you get your expectations up every night like that.
Manny: I’m not giving up on her.
Manny: Nothing. You’re supposed to tell me to get over it.
Lupe: Hey, I don’t want you to give up on Mercedes…
Lupe: …just have more realistic expectations, that’s all.
Manny: Let’s try that again, shall we? Think she’ll come in tonight?
Lupe: YES! I THINK TONIGHT’S DEFINITELY THE NIGHT!
Lupe: Could be, Manny. Just hang in there.
Lupe: Nothing. Get over it, knucklehead!
Manny: Thank you.
Manny: It’s my fault she’s out in the woods alone, you know.
Lupe: (sigh)If you say so, Manny.
Manny: Bogen come in yet?
Lupe: Yeah, he’s down in the casino, probably enjoying his usual lucky streak.
Manny: Bogen look mad when he left?
Lupe: Yeah, what happened?
Manny: Hey, we all run out of luck, eventually.
Lupe: Careful, Manny, or you’re going to get us shut down!
Manny: How’s the flow tonight?
Lupe: We’re dead tonight, Manny.
Lupe: Everybody’s back home for the Day of the Dead, I guess…
Lupe: …except for the casino. The casino’s hopping.
Lupe: Why is it that all the people who don’t go home are the same people who just love to gamble?
Manny: Well, I guess when you’ve got nothing to go home to, you’ve got nothing to lose.
Lupe: Hey, we should put that over the door!
Manny: Everything okay back in the land of fur and fedoras?
Lupe: Everything’s in order!
Lupe: It’s beautiful!
Lupe: I can’t wait for people to come in and try the new system!
Lupe: It’s soooooo cooooool!
Lupe: Want to hear about it?
Manny: Okay, tell me all the details about your new coat check system.
Lupe: Okay, I found all these plastic tiles in the back, left over from the automat, and guess what?
Lupe: THEY ALL HAVE NUMBERS ON THEM!
Lupe: So what I’m doing is I give one to everyone who checks a coat in and…
Lupe: YOU’RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!!!
Lupe: I GO TO ALL THIS WORK ORGANIZING YOUR COATS AND YA DON’T EVEN CARE!
Lupe: Forget it!
Lupe: Don’t pretend to care.
Manny: No, I want to hear…
Lupe: No, I’ll tell someone else about it.
Lupe: Someone who cares.
Manny: PLEASE tell me all about your new coat check system, really.
Lupe: Don’t patronize me, Cal.
Manny: Okay, back to work.
Lupe: But… my system!
Manny: I’ll be back.
Manny: Check out this fancy pass to the High Roller’s Lounge!
Manny: Can you believe how full of themselves they are over there?
Manny: I don’t think their place is any more “V.I.P.” than ours, do you?
Glottis: I don’t know, I-I-I t-try to stay away from t-that p-p-place…
Manny: Really? Why?
Glottis: ‘Cause of my…
Glottis: My Problem.
Glottis: Oooh! A request!
Glottis: Hmmm… Rusty Anchor… Rusty Anchor…
Glottis: Yeah, I…I think I know that one!
Glottis: If I remember right…
Glottis: It’s goes a little something…
Glottis: …like this:
Glottis: Oh, my boat’s got a rusty anchor.
Glottis: Rusty as she can be.
Glottis: Every port I go, I drop her,
Glottis: But she always comes back to me!
Glottis: Oh Rusty Anchor,
Glottis: Goin’ down, down, down.
Glottis: Oh Rusty Anchor,
Glottis: Guess I gotta hang around.
Glottis: Now, I love that rusty anchor.
Glottis: But man, she don’t love me.
Glottis: And this mornin’ I woke to find us both
Glottis: A-driftin’ out to sea!
Glottis: Oh Rusty Anchor,
Glottis: Goin’ down, down, down.
Glottis: Oh Rusty Anchor,
Glottis: Guess I gotta hang around.
Glottis: And every chance I get, I thank her
Glottis: For never leavin’ me.
Glottis: Well, my bones are carved up driftwood,
Glottis: But she won’t never set them free!
Glottis: Oh Rusty Anchor,
Glottis: Goin’ down, down, down.
Glottis: Oh Rusty Anchor,
Glottis: Guess I gotta hang around.
Glottis: Well, what’d you think?
Manny: I thought you were created just to drive.
Glottis: Well, over the years, you know, even a demon dabbles here and there.
Glottis: Hello, Manny!
Manny: I guess Glottis is good at anything that uses keys.
Manny: Ah, “Marillo de Oro” — A very fine liqueur filled with solid gold flakes!
Manny: Nothing but the best for my customers…
Manny: …my rich customers.
Manny: Yes… I’d better take this with me, for safe keeping.
Manny: I don’t think I could swallow any more metal right now…
Manny: Well, maybe just a sip…
Manny: (smack) Ahhh…
Manny: I can’t believe I’ve kept him from putting headers on that thing for so long.
Manny: I’m not in that union.
Manny: Oooooh, Oooooooh…
Manny: Oooh-Ooooh Ooooooooooooooh…
Lupe: Woooo! Yeah!
Glottis: Manny, the police chief walked through, and I tried playing a song for him…
Glottis: …and he yelled at me.
Manny: Oh, don’t sweat it, Mano.
Manny: He’s just mad ‘cuz he lost at the tables.
Glottis: Isn’t he always supposed to win so he keeps liking us, and never raids us?
Manny: He wouldn’t raid us–it’s a holiday!
Manny: Just how old ARE you?
Glottis: Oh, um… two…
Glottis: …or three… no… two.
Glottis: Yeah, yeah, only two thousand.
Glottis: Or thirty million miles, which ever comes first.
Manny: I just had a run-in with Domino and Meche. We’re leaving town.
Glottis: Wha? Wha? How?
Manny: Domino’s got Meche.
Manny: We’re going after them tonight.
Glottis: What should I do?
Manny: Just sit here until I get a boat.
Glottis: Sit here.
Manny: Quiet night, huh carnal?
Glottis: Day of the Dead ain’t good for business, Chief.
Glottis: But last night–remember last night, Manny?
Manny: What’s that you’re playing?
Glottis: Oh this is just a little, you know…
Glottis: …love song.
Glottis: For a special lady, heh heh.
Manny: Sing a little bit of that song, why don’t ya?
Glottis: Well, I only have this part…
Glottis: Oooooh, Oooooooh…
Glottis: Oooh-Ooooh Ooooooooooooooh…
Glottis: Booooooone Waaaaaaaaagon….
Manny: I like it.
Manny: You think she’ll come in tonight?
Glottis: Who, my special lady?
Manny: No, Meche.
Glottis: You know what Manny?
Glottis: I think she will!
Glottis: I got a feeling tonight’s the night!
Manny: You know, when we leave, I’m actually going to miss this place.
Glottis: Aw Manny, why can’t we just stay here?
Glottis: We got our fancy club, we got three squares a day…
Glottis: Max lets me take the Bone Wagon out on his kitty track once a week…
Glottis: Plus, we look good in these clothes!
Manny: Glottis, I can’t live in this world forever, it’s not where I belong.
Manny: I’ve got to find Meche and help her, because if it weren’t for me she’d have been on that train a year ago!
Glottis: Okay, Manny.
Manny: Well, I’ll let you get back to practicing.
Glottis: I don’t need to practice, man. I’m goooooooood.
Glottis: I’m goooooooood.
Manny: Sounds good.
Glottis: I know it!
Croupier: Le zÈro…
Croupier: Le un…
Croupier: Le deux…
Croupier: Le trois…
Croupier: Le quatre…
Croupier: Le cinq…
Croupier: Le six…
Croupier: Le sept…
Croupier: Le huit…
Croupier: Le neuf…
Croupier: Le dix…
Croupier: Le onze…
Croupier: Le douze…
Croupier: Le treize…
Croupier: Le quatorze…
Croupier: Le quinze…
Croupier: Le seize…
Croupier: Le dix-sept…
Croupier: Le dix-huit…
Croupier: Le dix-neuf…
Croupier: Le vingt…
Croupier: Le vingt et un…
Croupier: Le vingt-deux…
Croupier: Le vingt-trois…
Croupier: Le vingt-quatre…
Croupier: Le vingt-cinq…
Croupier: Le vingt-six…
Croupier: Le vingt-sept…
Croupier: Le vingt-huit…
Croupier: Le vingt-neuf…
Croupier: Le trente…
Croupier: Le trente et un…
Croupier: Le trente-deux…
Croupier: Le trente-trois…
Croupier: Le trente-quatre…
Croupier: Le trente-cinq…
Croupier: Le trente-six…
Croupier: …pair et passe.
Croupier: …pair et manque.
Croupier: …impair et pass.
Croupier: …impair et manque.
Croupier: Mesdames et Messieurs, faites vos jeux s’il vous plaÓt.
Croupier: Ladies and Gentlemen, please place your bets.
Croupier: Mesdames et Messieurs, rien ne va plus.
Croupier: Les jeux sont faits.
Croupier: Ladies and Gentlemen, Betting is closed.
Croupier: No more bets, please.
Croupier: Le deux. Noir, pair et manque.
Croupier: Number two, two is the winner.
Croupier: Your chips, Monsieur…
Bogen: Oh, why thank you!
Bogen: Thank you very much!
Bogen: How nice!
Bogen: This must be my lucky day!
Bogen: Merci beaucoup.
Croupier: Le numÈro gagnant…
Croupier: House pays all winners…
Croupier: La banque paye…
Manny: Chowchilla Charlie, in his regular booth…
Manny: I could probably do it, and toss him pretty far, too.
Manny: I should have known this ticket printer wouldn’t work!
Manny: Me and this ticket printer, we’re gonna make a mint!
Manny: Why bother? This piece of junk…
Manny: I’m keeping this little gold mine to myself.
Manny: It’s a betting stub for, let’s see…
Manny: It’s the V.I.P. pass to the High Rollers’ Lounge that Chowchilla Charlie gave me.
Manny: I don’t think it’s good for much except getting into the High Rollers’ Lounge.
Manny: An honest roulette croupier is hard to find…
Manny: And guys like this are even harder.
Manny: (Everything okay down here?)
Croupier: (What happened to Monsieur Bogen’s lucky streak?)
Manny: (It ran out.)
Croupier: (Well, so did he.)
Croupier: (He seems to have forgiven us. Please…)
Croupier: (…let his luck continue, eh?)
Croupier: (Well, I’m going to need some more chips, if Monsieur Lucky does not call it a night soon…)
Manny: Ah, my bread and butter…
Manny: Thrill-seeking rich folk with a poor grasp of statistics and probability.
Manny: I have a bouncer for that, but he’s busy playing the piano right now.
Manny: Not while they’re losing.
Manny: Police Chief Bogen, Rubacava’s “finest.”
Manny: …Rubacava’s “only,” for that matter.
Manny: I knew you couldn’t stay mad forever.
Bogen: Oh, I’m still mad, but nothing cheers me up like winning.
Manny: You know, some people say you should always walk away from the table when you’re on a winning streak.
Bogen: Oh, yes, but I’m feeling EXTRA lucky tonight.
Charlie: Where’s my suitcase?
Manny: Where’re your manners?
Charlie: You said you’d get my money from Maximino’s safe!
Manny: Don’t worry, Chuck.
Manny: You’ll get what’s coming to you.
Manny: Mind if I sit down, Charlie?
Charlie: Of course not, Manny.
Charlie: I…I mean, it is your club, right?
Manny: Right. So what are you doing in it?
Manny: Didn’t I tell you not to come back until you could pay your bar tab?
Charlie: Oh-huh. Oh, they kicked me out of that cat track for printing fake betting stubs.
Charlie: So now I have to come here Manny…
Charlie: …which I love, which I love!
Manny: What are you doing in my club, Charlie?
Manny: How did you print fake betting stubs?
Charlie: With this!
Charlie: Isn’t she beautiful?
Charlie: The last time I was incarcerated, I shared a cell with the most dishonest con man I ever met.
Charlie: He was strictly small-time, and I managed to steal this from him quite easily.
Manny: Thanks. You never know when this may come in handy.
Charlie: Hey, give that back to me, Manny!
Manny: Maybe once you settle your bar tab, eh, Charlie?
Charlie: Oh, Manny…
Manny: What else can you counterfeit?
Manny: Can you make passports?
Charlie: Manny, you still think like a living man in so many ways!
Charlie: No soul needs a passport…
Charlie: We are all citizens of the same nation, and our king rides a pale horse.
Manny: So, no passports?
Charlie: Noooo. No, that little hologram is so tricky, you know?
Manny: How about driver’s licenses?
Charlie: Sure. Just, um, give me a recent picture, fifty bucks and uh…
Charlie: …about two weeks, okay?
Manny: Can you make reasonable union cards?
Charlie: Are you going to start moonlighting, or are you just looking to hang out with the sailors?
Manny: Can you do it or not?
Charlie: I have a deal for you.
Charlie: If you can retrieve my money from Maximino, I can make you PRESIDENT of that crooked union.
Manny: I don’t need to be president, and why does Max have your money?
Charlie: I put a whole suitcase of it up for collateral on a rather large wager last month.
Charlie: The race was fixed, Manny–they stole my money like common thieves.
Charlie: Here, take this V.I.P. pass and use it to get into the High Roller’s Lounge–
Charlie: …they won’t let me in there anymore…
Charlie: There should be a safe, somewhere in the wine cellar, and my suitcase should be in it.
Manny: And you can get me a card tonight?
Charlie: If you make it back, Manny, the card will be on the table.
Manny: When I think of something I need, I’ll come back.
Charlie: I’m not a wishing well, Manny.
Manny: Why aren’t you over at the roulette tables?
Charlie: Ah, roulette is for lonely widows and Frenchmen.
Charlie: Why don’t you get some slot machines, Manny?
Charlie: Everybody–old women, little children–they all love slot machines!
Charlie: And I have a system, an infallible system, for beating them!
Manny: I’ll think about it.
Charlie: Uh-huh, huh, huh. I can tell when you’re just humoring me, you know?
Manny: I think slot machines attract an undesirable element.
Charlie: Oh, we’re all undesirable, Manny…
Manny: Yeah, but your credit’s no good to boot.
Manny: All my friends are lonely widows and Frenchmen.
Charlie: Except me, Manny.
Charlie: I’m here to keep you sane.
Manny: Tell me your system, Charlie.
Charlie: I can’t tell you my secrets, uh, just this: You have to become one with the bandit Manny.
Charlie: You…you have to get inside the machine, and… and make it WANT to pay!
Manny: On second thought, stay away from my roulette tables.
Manny: Well, I’ve got a club to run, so…
Charlie: And a burglary to commit, don’t forget!
Charlie: Oh yes, please Manny, get on with your glamorous life.
Manny: That’s a nice suit. Where’d you steal it?
Charlie: Manny, if you learn to play the odds like Chowchilla Charlie…
Charlie: …then maybe you, too, can have a suit this fine someday.
Manny: Welllll, looks like a quiet night in old Rubacava…
Manny: Looks like Velasco’s dozed off again.
Manny: Who’s that up in the lighthouse?
Manny: Wow, that strike is still going on!
Manny: Hey, you lazy bees! Get off your abdomens and get to work!
Manny: I wonder if Velasco can see me up here.
Manny: Heeeeeeeey! Velasco!
Manny: Lola, Lola, where are you?
Manny: Ah, there’s nothing new to see in this town!
Manny: Gross. How long was that raven sitting there?
Manny: There it is… Max’s giant cat race track…
Manny: How’s a regular guy with three roulette tables supposed to compete with that?
Velasco: Manuel Calavera?
Velasco: Hah-hah-hah, oy! Well what happened to the Limbo!?
Manny: Hate to tell you Velasco, but she went down at the Pearl…
Manny: But we found a new ship, the SS Lamancha, and managed to–
Velasco: The LAMANCHA?
Velasco: My old rusty bucket!?
Velasco: Where is she?
Manny: Oh, well, we traded her in Puerto Zapato for a team of sled dogs…
Velasco: That does it!
Velasco: I’m out of this stinking mob town!
Velasco: Thanks for finding my baby, Manny!
Velasco: Puerto Zapato, here I come!
Manny: Mob town?
Manny: Sprouted? What’s happening to this town.
Velasco: Oh, big city crime, Manny, we’re gettin’ more of it every day.
Velasco: I know you probably hate getting it this way, but Naranja’s job is yours now.
Manny: No, Velasco… I don’t know if I’m comfortable taking that…
Velasco: You’ll take his job because there’s no one else I can get on such short notice!
Velasco: Now, what about these tools, where are they?
Manny: They’re too big for me to carry.
Manny: Glottis will bring them when we board.
Velasco: And the card, let me see it.
Velasco: Ohhhh…One of Charlie’s rush jobs…
Velasco: Good thing your new captain’s far-sighted!
Velasco: Looks like you’re all ready to go, Manny!
Velasco: Except one. Where’s that piano-player of yours?
Manny: He’s having a little good-bye party.
Manny: I’ll go get him.
Velasco: Tell him to hurry up! The Limbo can’t sail without him!
Velasco: Hmmm, still no room for you on board.
Velasco: Naranja’s sleeping off a bad one, but he’ll be here.
Velasco: No word from Naranja, but he’s done this before.
Manny: But I’m first on the waiting list?
Velasco: As it were, yeah.
Velasco: Eh, about that union card, Manny…
Manny: I have one, I just left it in my other coat.
Velasco: Well, I look forward to seeing it.
Velasco: And don’t forget that Glottis has gotta bring his own tools.
Manny: He will. He doesn’t go anywhere without a lot of tools.
Velasco: Good, ’cause neither does the Limbo!
Velasco: Don’t just sit around here collecting barnacles!
Manny: Oooh, it’s spooky down here.
Manny: That Dockmaster Velasco is one salty old bag of rope.
Velasco: We-uh-uh-uh, you should see his wife!
Manny: Hey, sailor.
Velasco: Quit foolin’ around.
Velasco: Yeah-uh, that’s a good’n.
Manny: Not a bad little ship-in-a-bottle you got goin’ there!
Velasco: Yeah, well, there’s that Rubacava craft fair next week, you know, so…
Manny: That’s what the Lumbago diorama needed–fake ocean water!
Manny: You’d think after two years he’d have the little S.S. Lumbago’s life boats on, at least.
Manny: Hey, let me see that–
Velasco: I’ll break it over your head if you reach for it again!
Manny: I’ve got more full-scale problems to deal with.
Manny: Maybe I’ll just finish this for him.
Manny: I’d drink it but I’d probably get the S.S. Lumbago stuck in my throat.
Manny: Here, let me help you with that–
Velasco: There’s some things a man’s got to do for himself!
Velasco: I know-I locked it!
Manny: The S.S. Limbo needs a little T.L.C.
Manny: Yeah, maybe Velasco wouldn’t notice…
Manny: I never was that good at the high jump.
Manny: Dang these short legs.
Manny: Together this time…
Manny: It shone, pale as bone,
Velasco: It shone, pale as bone,
Manny: As I stood there alone.
Velasco: As I stood there alone.
Manny: And I thought to myself how the moon,
Velasco: And I thought to myself how the moon,
Manny: That night, cast its light
Velasco: That night, cast its light
Manny: On my heart’s true delight,
Velasco: On my heart’s true delight,
Manny: And the reef where her body was strewn.
Velasco: And the reef where her body was strewn.
Manny: Ahhhh, not quite the same without ol’ Velasco.
Manny: Don’t have that kind of equipment.
Manny: Could you go over that part again about why I can’t board?
Manny: Alright, so I’m ready to sail!
Velasco: On what?
Manny: On the Limbo, Man, let’s go!
Velasco: Manny, Manny, Manny… The Limbo’s not a passenger ship!
Velasco: The Limbo’s not a passenger ship!
Velasco: She’s small cargo, son, and every hand on board works!
Manny: I’ll work!
Velasco: What are your skills?
Manny: Sales and restaurant management.
Velasco: Ohhhh…hey, there is ONE opening on the Limbo’s crew…
Velasco: Yeah, it’s in the engine room, and your buddy Glottis would be perfect for it!
Velasco: But he’d have to get his own tools…
Manny: Okay, if I get Glottis some tools, can we board?
Velasco: Uh, HE can, yes.
Velasco: No offense, Manny, but there’s just no place for you aboard the Limbo.
Velasco: She’s fully manned already.
Velasco: In fact, her whole crew is on board, ready to sail at dawn…
Velasco: …except for that one guy…
Manny: Who’s the one guy who hasn’t boarded yet?
Velasco: Yeah, well-uh, Seaman Naranja’s a little late, but he’ll be here before they sail.
Manny: What job did Naranja have?
Velasco: He ran the galley…
Manny: Ah ha! Restaurant management!
Velasco: Yeah, it’s similar to what you’re doing now, except the fish is fresher on the Limbo.
Manny: What if Naranja doesn’t show up? I can fill his spot, right?
Velasco: Manny, you’re not even in the maritime union!
Manny: I know that, and you know that, but we’re two guys who can keep secrets, right?
Velasco: Glottis is exempt, but the captain will ask for YOUR card, and if you don’t have one…
Velasco: …They’ll serve you to the sharks like chum, and what’s worse…
Velasco: I’ll get fined!
Velasco: It’s a tough union, boy, and I don’t mess with ’em!
Manny: So let me get this straight…
Manny: If I get Glottis some tools…
Velasco: Then I can get him a job on the Limbo.
Manny: …and if Seaman Naranja doesn’t show up for work…
Velasco: But he will.
Manny: …and I get a maritime union card…
Velasco: …which you’ll never get.
Manny: Then I can sail on the Limbo in the morning?
Velasco: I GUESS SO.
Manny: What kind of tools does Glottis need?
Velasco: Authentic Sea Bee equipment only.
Manny: Where do I get Authentic Sea Bee equipment?
Velasco: Why don’t you ask a Sea Bee?
Velasco: Afraid of gettin’ stung?
Velasco: HA HA HA, HA-HA!!!
Manny: Has Naranja checked in yet?
Velasco: No but Toto Santos called, said he’s passed out at his place.
Manny: So he’s in no shape to sail, right?
Velasco: Manny, he’s out cold, but not THAT cold.
Velasco: Uh, no. But the boy’s never missed a boat yet!
Manny: Where do you think Naranja is?
Velasco: Probably home selecting recipes for the trip!
Manny: How can I join the union, fast?
Velasco: Manny, it takes months to get in that union…
Velasco: …least, if you do it legitimately.
Velasco: But-tuh, uh-uh, I’ll tell ya…I don’t care if your card’s not a hundred percent sea-worthy…
Velasco: Just so’s it looks right, you get me?
Manny: I think.
Manny: So, where can I get a fake union card?
Velasco: Pipe down, will ya, son!
Manny: But, you said…
Velasco: I never said no such thing!
Velasco: There’s low-down people hidin’ in the corners of this town that’ll give a man almost anythin’ he wants…
Velasco: But I don’t know any of ’em!
Manny: What’s going on in that bottle? A tugboat?
Velasco: This happens to be a perfect scale replica of the SS Lumbago!
Velasco: I’m just having a little trouble getting the walking beam to fit in the neck, here…
Manny: Hm-that’s funny because a lumbago is usually more of a problem in the lower back than the neck…
Manny: I’d better go finish packing.
Velasco: Aye, you do that, son.
Manny: “Due to the new curfew, elevator operation ceases at sunset.”
Manny: Who’s in charge of this place now?
Manny: This elevator goes up to my club.
Manny: “Blue Casket…”
Manny: …just doesn’t have the zing of “Calavera Cafe,” you know?
Manny: Extra-thick doors to seal in the hipness.
Olivia: Calavera? What are you doing here?
Olivia: I heard you went POW in Zapato, Daddy!
Manny: Well, Hector LeMans tried and missed, now it’s my turn.
Manny: I’m headed to El Marrow to put him out of business.
Olivia: Manny, that place is changed–you don’t know what you’re getting into!
Olivia: I’d better come with you.
Olivia: Just give me a minute to get ready.
Manny: Okay, but if you hear a loud explosion anytime soon, the trip’s off.
Manny: So, what did you think of the poem?
Slisko: I liked it.
Slisko: It was sad and beautiful, like my mother.
Alexi: I despised it.
Alexi: It was too short and said nothing to me…
Alexi: …like my father.
Gunnar: I had no feelings about it.
Gunnar: It was aloof and licked itself too much…
Gunnar: …like my cat, Mr. Trotsky.
Olivia: The Rusty Anchor?
Olivia: Manny, I didn’t know you were familiar with my early work…
Olivia: I usually don’t do the old stuff, but I’ll swing this one, just for you.
Olivia: Again? Manny, my regulars are getting bored!
Olivia: Just one more time!
Olivia: Wind pierces my hull
Olivia: An iceberg, a needle.
Olivia: Sweet whispered nothings
Olivia: “Sail tonight!”
Olivia: A storm!
Olivia: This deathbed harbor.
Olivia: By love’s rusty anchor,
Olivia: Forever moored.
Manny: I’m not sure what that means.
Slisko: But don’t ya see?
Slisko: When the government fades away, so will our troubles.
Gunnar: Ah, nonsense. We will always need some armed force to fight off the return of capitalism!
Alexi: That sort of fascist thinking is as dead as you are, comrade.
Alexi: When we get rid of all the guns, that’s when people will begin to self-police, and the public opinion alone will keep them from committing crimes!
Manny: Hola, trust-funders!
Slisko: Hey, look who’s making the scene!
Slisko: It’s Manny Calavera, the up- the down- the back-side of the Nouveau Riche.
Alexi: Beat it, Dinner Jacket.
Alexi: We’re talking about things you wouldn’t understand, like truth and beauty!
Manny: Buenas noches, comrades.
Gunnar: Hey, Manny, no offense, but we don’t have time for establishment-types like yourself.
Manny: What makes you guys think I’m so establishment?
Slisko: You smell like bacon and oppression, man!
Manny: Hey, kids!
Gunnar: Sorry, Manny.
Gunnar: No room for the bourgeois in our revolution.
Slisko: Yeah, man. No room for the big fat cat from the uptown party that didn’t send out invitations to the working class.
Slisko: What of it, Mr. Wheeler, Mr. Dealer, Mr. Loves-The-Apples-But-Hates-The-Apple-Peeler?
Slisko: Get a whiff of your privilege, your big belches of entitlement…
Slisko: I’d vomit, but there’s no food in my belly cuz I won’t play The Man’s game!
Slisko: I hear the driver of a station wagon, the owner of a pasta maker…
Slisko: The hollowed-out husk of a cat who remembers to button down his collar, but forgets his brother in the street.
Slisko: Another visit from the ghost of capitalism, rattling the chains that restrains him, his umbilical cord to the almighty dollar…
Slisko: You put “THE MAN” in Manny, and I say you get the cold shoulder-bone from now on.
Slisko: Oh, fade out.
Manny: Hey, did I ever tell you guys that you remind me of my friend…
Manny: …SALVADOR LIMONES?
Slisko: Salvador Limones is a fairy tale, a spook story The Man tells the masses as he puts them to sleep…
Alexi: Salvador Limones is very real, and a very great, great man.
Manny: He also writes a mean letter.
Alexi: What is this?
Alexi: “I Salvador Limones… salute you? Manuel Calavera?”
Gunnar: “A great ally in this noble revolution?”
Alexi: You really know Salvador Limones?
Alexi: What’s he like?
Gunnar: Why didn’t you tell us you were a freedom fighter, Manuel?
Manny: I can’t talk about my underground gig, or I’d put the whole scene in dangerville.
Manny: Hey, Ah-I gotta split, so um…
Manny: (Viva la RevoluciÛn!)
Alexi: Oh, man!
Manny: “Labor Organization and Revolt… Made Easy!”
Manny: “Chapter One:”
Manny: “The workers shall control the means of production…”
Manny: Oooh, better not show this to Glottis.
Manny: Looks pretty dry. I’ll save it for tonight when I’m trying to get to sleep.
Manny: Would you cats mind if I dug on this book for a while?
Gunnar: Knock yourself out, brother.
Manny: Hey, can I borrow this book?
Alexi: Why? So you can freak on our plans for organizing labor and go rat us out to your pal, Chief Bogen?
Manny: Hey, I’m just looking for something to read on the can, all right?
Alexi: No dice, Cummerbund.
Manny: Looks like it’s “open mic” night.
Manny: I just can’t do it without an audience.
Olivia: Will I do?
Manny: Hey, look!
Manny: Dead Beats!
Manny: More hep cats…
Manny: It’s not that kind of bar.
Manny: Hi, what’s your name?
Manny: One of these days, I’m going in there.
Manny: Ah, the love nest.
Olivia: Is it time to go yet?
Manny: No, we’re having a little car trouble–
Olivia: Come by when it’s time!
Manny: Mind if I go in?
Olivia: You don’t want to go in there.
Olivia: I haven’t cleaned up yet.
Manny: “Blue Casket”
Manny: If only I’d named my club THAT instead!
Manny: But no, I had to use my own name, like an idiot.
Manny: That would lead to a lot of sparks and broken glass and angry beatniks.
Manny: I don’t mess with Olivia’s stuff, she doesn’t mess with mine. That’s the deal.
Manny: It’s Olivia Ofrenda.
Manny: Not Max’s girl. No way.
Olivia: What are these? Who is Salvador Limones?
Manny: Olivia, what kind of revolutionary are you?
Olivia: Who said I was a revolutionary?
Olivia: Still, I should study up, it could impress the customers…
Manny: Oooh, smells like this door leads to the kitchen.
Manny: That’s the way outside.
Olivia: Tell me Manny…
Olivia: How ARE the bourgeoisie?
Manny: Fine, how’s Max?
Olivia: Oh, Gramps, don’t start.
Manny: What are you doing with a snake like Nick?
Olivia: I’d lay it on you, Manny, but uh, I don’t think you’d get it.
Manny: Messing around with your boyfriend’s lawyer is pretty dangerous.
Olivia: Oh, maybe I was wrong…
Olivia: You do get it!
Manny: I’m a little worried about Lola…
Olivia: That’s because she’s doomed, Manny.
Olivia: She fell in love with Maximino!
Olivia: That’s the one mistake I never made.
Manny: Do you think Nick would hurt her?
Olivia: Only if he finds her, and take it from me–he’s not good at finding things.
Manny: Open mic night seems like a big hit.
Olivia: It always takes those timid souls a while to get up the nerve.
Manny: Maybe it would help if you went up there and started things rolling?
Olivia: Oh, Manny.
Olivia: Read poetry in my own club?
Olivia: That would be like this whole place was just a big temple set up to worship me.
Manny: Oh, come on. Just one poem. As an example to the shy kids.
Manny: Oh, come–
Manny: Hey, how about another poem?
Olivia: I’m bone dry, flesh out of poems!
Manny: Just begin again at the top, they get better each time.
Manny: Little dark in here, don’t you think?
Olivia: Dark and cold, like the hearts of men.
Manny: You know, I’m thinking of buying this place.
Olivia: Really, I thought about buying yours for a while.
Olivia: But then I just decided to ask my boyfriend Max to buy it for me.
Manny: You can have it. I’m leaving town.
Olivia: You sound so exciting all of a sudden!
Olivia: Why are you leaving town?
Manny: Johnny Law, baby. You see, I’m a grifter. I’m bad news..
Olivia: Yeah, right.
Olivia: You’re running after that ghost chick everyone says you’re still so uptight about.
Manny: I’m chasing a woman I met once and can’t forget.
Olivia: Well, I have a poem I wrote just for you.
Olivia: Pay attention because it’s pretty short. Here it goes.
Manny: Well, catch you later, hep chick.
Olivia: Keep practicing that lingo, Man, you’ll get it!
Olivia: We slept!
Olivia: Life’s just some rapid-eye-movement
Olivia: In a warm, cozy bed…
Olivia: We wake!
Olivia: The flesh dream is over, Daddy!
Olivia: Now that we’re all crazy dead!
Olivia: Ashes to ashes
Olivia: …to ashes
Olivia: to ashes…
Olivia: …to ashes
Olivia: to ashes…
Olivia: …to ashes
Olivia: to ashes…
Olivia: to ME…
Olivia: …to ashes
Olivia: to ashes…
Olivia: …to ashes
Olivia: to ashes…
Olivia: I called my cat “Boney.”
Olivia: ‘Til she said it wouldn’t do.
Olivia: I said, “Why?”
Olivia: She said, “Sister,
Olivia: ‘Cuz that’s what I’VE been calling YOU!”
Olivia: Okay, last one folks.
Olivia: With bony hands I hold my partner
Olivia: On soulless feet we cross the floor
Olivia: The music stops as if to answer
Olivia: An empty knocking at the door
Olivia: It seems his skin was sweet as mango
Olivia: When last I held him to my breast
Olivia: But now we dance this grim fandango
Olivia: And will four years before we rest
Manny: That was great.
Olivia: Yeah, but that’s the last one!
Olivia: Really, this time. I just don’t have anymore.
Olivia: Scooby da.
Olivia: Fiddle dee dee…
Olivia: My teeth…
Olivia: The Darkness…
Olivia: …bones… bones… bones…
Olivia: …ashes to ashes…
Olivia: I ache.
Olivia: Or is it?
Olivia: Can you see what I’m smelling?
Olivia: Is it you? Or am I you?
Olivia: The Center…
Olivia: It lingers…
Olivia: They, them.
Olivia: Can you hear what I am suffering?
Olivia: …and tomorrow?
Olivia: I am not dead.
Olivia: I am more than dead.
Olivia: I curl into a fist.
Olivia: The cracks in my skull…
Olivia: I am not laughing out of joy.
Olivia: I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
Olivia: Rise up!
Olivia: Confuse yourselves!
Olivia: Break the mirror with your silence…
Olivia: …a single, calcified tear…
Olivia: …for what purpose?
Olivia: Does He hear? HERE?
Olivia: Can it be yesterday?
Olivia: Forgive these five sins…
Olivia: Eating only spiders and leaves…
Olivia: …beauty, a roundness?
Olivia: …inside a dream inside a dream…
Olivia: Pain killer. Pain. Killer.
Olivia: The lie.
Olivia: I am your failure.
Olivia: Ignore me.
Olivia: …eating through your brain…
Olivia: Oh, yeah.
Olivia: …and what’s worse…
Olivia: Ske-bee bop, BOP!
Olivia: You heard me.
Olivia: Myself, MY Self…
Olivia: CAN YOU HEAR ME SAYING NOTHING?
Olivia: Yo soy un hombre sincero.
Olivia: …turning the battleship…
Olivia: Don’t pet the cat that way.
Olivia: I’m severely touched!
Olivia: You said this to me in your sleep.
Olivia: I can’t bear it…
Olivia: Did you have pet names for each other?
Olivia: In the slaughterhouse of my soul…
Olivia: I reach out…
Olivia: I crave disappointment.
Olivia: Unify, rectify.
Olivia: Go, baby.
Olivia: Do it.
Olivia: …and forever…
Olivia: The phone is for me.
Olivia: The phone is for you.
Olivia: Sing it, sister.
Olivia: Go, go, GO!
Olivia: Dig this real.
Olivia: Like, pow!
Manny: Hey, you stole my poem!
Olivia: Consider it an homage.
Olivia: Hey, you can’t “OWN” words, Daddy.
Olivia: All great artists steal.
Olivia: Oh, it was better the way I did it, anyway!
Manny: …testing… testing…
Manny: ALL RIGHT! WHO’S READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?
Manny: Maybe later, then. Okay?
Manny: Good evening. I’d like to read a poem.
Manny: I’d like to read another poem.
Manny: So, what’s up with airplane food anyway?
Manny: I mean… it’s so… small and… not that good.
Alexi: Is he trying to be funny?
Gunnar: There’s nothing funny about being dead, comrade!
Slisko: Life is pain, death is worse!
Slisko: My funny bone must have fell off in the hearse!
Manny: Anyone out there know where I can find some tools?
Gunnar: Try the docks, brother.
Alexi: The only tool in here is you!
Slisko: Yeah, tool of the government, monkey-wrench of the Man!
Manny: Is there an Anselmo Naranja in the audience tonight?
Gunnar: He’s down at Toto’s place getting carved.
Alexi: If he’s not passed out under a dock somewhere!
Manny: Hey, can anyone out there help me get in the maritime union?
Gunnar: Hey, we’re into organizing labor…
Alexi: Not sabotaging labor!
Manny: Orale! You’ve been a great audience. Good night, Rubacava!
Manny: The End
Gunnar: We hear ya, Daddy!
Slisko: Hssssss! Hssss!
Manny: Gracias! Muchisimas gracias.
Manny: Scooby da.
Manny: Fiddle dee dee…
Manny: My teeth…
Manny: The Darkness…
Manny: …bones… bones… bones…
Manny: …ashes to ashes…
Manny: I ache.
Manny: Or is it?
Manny: Can you see what I’m smelling?
Manny: Is it you? Or am I you?
Manny: The Center…
Manny: It lingers…
Manny: They, them.
Manny: Can you hear what I am suffering?
Manny: …and tomorrow?
Manny: I am not dead.
Manny: I am more than dead.
Manny: I curl into a fist.
Manny: The cracks in my skull…
Manny: Heh, heh, heh, I am not laughing out of joy.
Manny: I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
Manny: Rise up!
Manny: Confuse yourselves!
Manny: Break the mirror with your silence…
Manny: …a single, calcified tear…
Manny: …for what purpose?
Manny: Does He hear? HERE?
Manny: Can it be yesterday?
Manny: Forgive these five sins…
Manny: Eating only spiders and leaves…
Manny: …beauty, a roundness?
Manny: …inside a dream, inside a dream, inside a dream…
Manny: Pain killer. Pain. Killer.
Manny: The lie.
Manny: I am your failure.
Manny: Ignore me.
Manny: …eating through your brain…
Manny: Oh, yeah.
Manny: …and what’s worse…
Manny: Ske-bee bop, BOP! Ske-bee bop, BOP!
Manny: You heard me.
Manny: Myself, MY Self…
Manny: CAN YOU HEAR ME SAYING NOTHING?
Manny: Yo soy un hombre sincero.
Manny: …turning the battleship…
Manny: Don’t pet the cat that way.
Manny: I’m severely touched!
Manny: You said this to me in your sleep.
Manny: I can’t bear it…
Manny: Did you have pet names for each other?
Manny: In the slaughterhouse of my soul…
Manny: I reach out…
Manny: I crave disappointment.
Manny: Unify, rectify.
Manny: Go, baby.
Manny: Do it.
Manny: …and forever…
Manny: The phone is for me.
Manny: The phone is for you.
Manny: Sing it, sister.
Manny: Go, go, GO!
Manny: Dig this real.
Manny: Like, pow!
Waiter: Just a dab will drop ya!
Waiter: Hey, man. You didn’t see me put the secret ingredient in these coffin shooters, did ya?
Manny: Relax. Olivia stole the recipe from me in the first place.
Waiter: Yeahhhh…she steals from the rich, and gives to me to pour…
Manny: The sink is full of dirty hookah water.
Manny: I’m not going to drink dirty hookah water, and I can’t carry it with my bare hands.
Manny: Nothing in the dishwasher.
Manny: Not to sound like the capitalist oppressor, but I have people who do that for me now.
Manny: I don’t get the feeling those cleaning supplies are used much around here.
Manny: I don’t really need a bunch of cleaning supplies.
Manny: Let the waiter clean up after himself.
Manny: They still haven’t done these?
Manny: These plates are filthy.
Manny: Dirty plates can stay put.
Manny: I’m not going to eat off of dirty plates, and I’m not going to clean them.
Manny: Ooooh… food waste.
Manny: As soon as I think of a use for stinky food waste, I’ll give it a shot.
Manny: “Coffin Shooter 1-2-3: Just pour, chill, and serve!”
Manny: I would, but I hate sucking gelatin straight from the tap.
Manny: Beware, for therein lie beatniks.
Manny: This is where Toto Santos practices his cruel, yet beautiful art.
Manny: Never get me under that thing.
Toto: Uh, hang on a second.
Toto: AH AH AH! Get away from that!
Toto: No, no! What are you thinking?
Toto: Reach for that again, and you’ll pull back a stump!
Toto: Kissy people?
Toto: …Hold still…
Toto: …stop moving…
Toto: …color cost more…
Toto: …doesn’t hurt…
Toto: …quit whining…
Toto: …shut your hole…
Toto: …I kill you…
Toto: …I am… I am a artist…
Toto: …you ASKED for bunny…
Toto: …not my fault…
Toto: …your mother will love it…
Manny: This mean anything to you?
Toto: You mean, besides the song, and the poem, and the bar, and the statue by that name?
Toto: Sure! It is one of my most famous designs! Here, I show you!
Toto: Hey… what’s this?
Manny: My friend Lola left that here for me.
Toto: Oh, yeah. Lola was here. Sweet girl. Like a daughter to me. Tell her Papa Toto say hello.
Manny: Sure thing.
Toto: Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. That is what I told him.
Toto: Are you kidding me?
Toto: I gave him the idea in the first place!
Toto: Ah, a tiger can’t change his stripes.
Toto: So are you still going to go?
Toto: Hey, listen to me-you’ve got to take care of yourself.
Toto: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Toto: Sure, of course. I understand.
Toto: You said that?
Toto: You’ve got guts!
Toto: Yeah, but I wouldn’t exactly call that ‘quality time.’
Toto: So, what happened after dinner?
Toto: Oh, you’re kidding me!
Toto: Oh, I don’t believe it.
Toto: But what about the kids?
Toto: Oh, that’s just a crying shame.
Toto: Well, if you didn’t tell me someone else would.
Toto: I’d tell you, but I can’t.
Manny: My scythe–I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.
2 Replies to “Dialogue”
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