Dialogue

Manny: That must be Hector’s Casino!
Manny: Looks like Bowlsley broke a canister of spoutella when he landed.
Manny: I hope he doesn’t drip any on himself!
Manny: The flakes of bone are sprouting when they hit the puddle, and turning into…
Manny: …baby tears!
Manny: That would definitely sprout the bone, but then I’d just be left here…
Manny: …unarmed.
Manny: Hey, alligator!
Manny: You still there?
Manny: Work that kink out of your tail yet?
Manny: Hhheh-heh-heh-heh.
Manny: Helloooooo down there!
Manny: Ooh, never mind–go back to sleep, whatever you are!
Manny: How about this one? Anyone down here?
Manny: Monsters? Again?
Manny: Can anyone hear me BESIDES the scary monster?
Manny: Dang.
Manny: Go to sleep, sewer thing…
Manny: Close your big, cave-blind eyes…
Manny: That didn’t work.
Manny: Salvador?
Manny: Olivia?
Manny: Oh, no…
Manny: Rrrrrrrrooooaaar!
Manny: Monsters are dumb!
Manny: That’s the way to the secret hide-out of the Lost Soul’s alliance.
Thunder Boy 1: Oooh, are you here for the Thunderboy Tryouts?
Manny: Yes, I am.
Thunder Boy 2: Oh, that’s too bad…
Manny: No, are you kidding?
Thunder Boy 2: Good.
Thunder Boy 1: Because we just got the last two parts.
Thunder Boy 2: Maybe next season.
Thunder Boy 2: (snicker, snicker)
Thunder Boy 1: (snicker)
Thunder Boy 2: Hey, get lost, pal!
Thunder Boy 2: No autographs!
Thunder Boy 2: It’s not like Johnny Thunder lets just anybody in his review…
Thunder Boy 1: No.
Thunder Boy 2: I mean, being allowed to wear the Johnny Thunder makeup is an honor!
Thunder Boy 1: Yes!
Thunder Boy 2: A privilege!
Thunder Boy 1: YES!
Thunder Boy 2: So I said to her, you give me that ten-percent discount, or I’m taking my business elsewhere!
Thunder Boy 1: You said that?
Thunder Boy 2: Well…oh-yes, I was MAD, you know?
Thunder Boy 2: An then, here’s the good part…
Thunder Boy 2: Of course, as soon as I save up enough money for a Double-N Ticket, I’m out of here!
Thunder Boy 1: What? You can’t just BUY a Double-N!
Thunder Boy 2: Well I know somebody who knows somebody who knows-uh…
Thunder Boy 2: …HECTOR LEMANS.
Thunder Boy 1: Wow. You know EVERYBODY!
Thunder Boy 2: Aaaaa!
Thunder Boy 2: What did you do that for?
Thunder Boy 1: I didn’t! I–
Thunder Boy 2: You melted my makeup!
Thunder Boy 2: I can’t go on like THIS!
Thunder Boy 2: I took you under my wing, and this is how you pay me back!
Thunder Boy 1: No, no! It’s not like that!
Thunder Boy 2: So then I says…
Thunder Boy 2: And the director says…
Thunder Boy 2: …I’m a busy man…
Thunder Boy 2: …but…
Thunder Boy 2: So I says…
Thunder Boy 2: …a real amateur…
Thunder Boy 2: …I am NOT kidding…
Thunder Boy 2: Oh, yeah.
Thunder Boy 1: Uh-huh.
Thunder Boy 1: Really?
Thunder Boy 1: And then what?
Thunder Boy 1: Yeah?
Thunder Boy 1: No kidding.
Thunder Boy 1: Wow.
Thunder Boy 1: So what did you…
Thunder Boy 1: But I guess so…
Thunder Boy 1: You don’t say!
Makeup woman: Oooh, coffee, thanks!
Makeup woman: Hey, out of the dressing room! We got all the Thunder Boys we need!
Makeup woman: We got all the Thunder Boys we need!
Makeup woman: Hey, kid, put that coffee away, this is your lucky day!
Makeup woman: Hey, kid, this is your lucky day!
Makeup woman: We got an openin’ and you’re the newest Thunder Boy in the Johnny Thunder Review!
Manny: Yes! I’ve been working for this moment all my life.
Makeup woman: Then sit on down, we gotta start your makeup!
Makeup woman: Don’t go too far, you never know what time is showtime around here!
Manny: Is it showtime yet?
Makeup woman: Ah, Johnny Thunder still hasn’t rolled in yet.
Makeup woman: You know these prima donna crooners!
Manny: Hey, you’re talking about Johnny Thunder!
Makeup woman: Sorry.
Thunder Boy 1: Oooh, coffee! Great!
Thunder Boy 2: About time we got a P.A. around here!
Thunder Boy 2: Hey kid–keep it black, and keep it comin’, all right?
Thunder Boy 2: It’s about time!
Manny: It’s a hand-held grinder.
Manny: It’s a bone-chipper now!
Manny: This snow maker is huge!
Manny: …but the grinder part looks hand-held.
Manny: Not much use without the grinder.
Manny: No, once you grind bone, you can’t go back to fake snow.
Manny: I think he’d be happy to know his body was serving the cause like this.
Manny: This coffee is already ground.
Manny: I don’t want to sprout that arm all at once!
Manny: This lever is attached to the fake-snow supply.
Manny: That would just dump blocks of fake snow on the ground…
Manny: …not a very festive holiday effect.
Manny: Mmmm… SHOWBUSINESS coffee!
Manny: I don’t see any place to serve coffee here.
Manny: I think show-people prefer it black.
Manny: Little too hot for my pockets, thank you!
Manny: Hot!
Manny: Looks like a dressing room back there.
Manny: Awwww, they look just like little Johnny Thunders!
Thunder Boy 2: Who you calling little?
Manny: I think they already have dance partners.
Manny: Pardon me, Thunder Boys, but–
Manny: Wow, from up here, everybody looks like ants!
Manny: My aunts in particular. They wore SO much makeup!
Manny: Hey, Thunder Boys!
Thunder Boy 1: Who said that?
Thunder Boy 2: People call out your name all the time when you’re famous.
Thunder Boy 2: You get used to it.
Thunder Boy 1: Hey, have you ever used a dandruff shampoo?
Thunder Boy 2: No, why?
Thunder Boy 1: No reason.
Thunder Boy 1: Well, you know, a lot of people use dandruff shampoo…
Thunder Boy 2: What are you getting at?
Thunder Boy 1: Nothing!
Manny: That ladder is a little too long to climb with scalding-hot coffee in my hands.
Manny: This leads to the catacombs.
Manny: I saw Bowlsley run down here, but where did he go?
Manny: Okay, I don’t know what’s down there, but I have issues with it.
Manny: Bowlsley’s probably in that maze, but I’d never be able to find him without…
Manny: …well, with out something… really helpful.
Manny: The sprouting bone shows where Bowlsley dripped the concentrate as he ran.
Manny: Wow! It’s a tunnel that opens onto a system of catacombs!
Manny: I don’t see how Sal, with all his crazy conspiracy theories…
Manny: …forgot to mention to me that there were alligators in the sewers.
Manny: Poor Bone Wagon…
Manny: Out of the regurgitated gelatin straight to the alligator-infested sewer!
Manny: That ledge looks like a safer place to be.
Manny: I thought he looked mad BEFORE!
Manny: That thing is UGLY and it’s IN MY WAY!
Manny: Yeah, you heard me!
Manny: Hey! Pink-eye!
Manny: Come and get me!
Manny: It’s amazing how a little touch of human remains can brighten up a place.
Manny: I loooove what Bowlsley’s done with the joint!
Bowlsley: Hector?
Bowlsley: Hector, is that you?
Bowlsley: You’d better back off, man!
Bowlsley: I mean it, I’m not feeling too rosy!
Bowlsley: I’m having… I feel…
Bowlsley: I’m thinking I’d better…
Bowlsley: Things are gonna change around here!
Bowlsley: Yeah, man…
Bowlsley: Who, who, who do you think you’re fooling?
Bowlsley: I love plants, is that so wrong?
Bowlsley: Plants are beautiful!
Bowlsley: You people, you think plants are death!
Bowlsley: Plants are life!
Bowlsley: You all, YOU’RE all death!
Bowlsley: You’re all the same!
Bowlsley: If people were plants, the world would be a better place!
Bowlsley: I could make everybody into plants!
Bowlsley: I’ve got enough juice right here to turn the world GREEN!
Bowlsley: I’ve got half a mind to… I got half a mind…
Bowlsley: What?
Bowlsley: I didn’t say anything of the kind?
Bowlsley: Where do you get off?
Bowlsley: What can I do to get you to take me SERIOUSLY?
Bowlsley: I look at you and I see a garden waiting to happen!
Bowlsley: What you haven’t seen, you haven’t seen THE MEADOW.
Bowlsley: You want to take a walk in the MEADOW, punk?
Bowlsley: And then he says to me, you’ll get BENEFITS!
Bowlsley: I need to…
Bowlsley: That’s not helping!
Bowlsley: Plant’s don’t kill!
Bowlsley: You want death within death, Hector? Is that what you want?
Bowlsley: Everybody lies, even the BELL!
Bowlsley: Ding, ding! Can I help you? Can I help you?
Bowlsley: CAN I HELP YOU!
Bowlsley: CAN I FRIGGIN HELP YOU DING, DING, DING?!
Bowlsley: Would you like baby’s breath with that?
Bowlsley: The little bell told me, I’m a florist.
Bowlsley: I’M NOT A FLORIST! I AM A MANUFACTURER OF WEAPONS!
Bowlsley: It’s like people, there are GOOD plants, and there are BAD plants…
Bowlsley: DING DING! You’re going to drive me CRAZY!
Bowlsley: Tape you’re mouth shut, you’re not gonna tell no more lies!
Bowlsley: I’ll fertilize your fat carcass!
Bowlsley: I’ll take– what did you say?
Manny: Listen, Bowlsley, I’m not here to hurt you…
Bowlsley: Listen, Bowlsley, I’m here to hurt you…
Manny: It’s not Hector, it’s Manny Calavera.
Bowlsley: It’s not Hector, it’s Manny Calavera come to sprout ya!
Manny: Look, I need a gun to put Hector out of business.
Bowlsley: Look, I need a gun… I need Hector… we’re in business!
Manny: Listen, I really need that gun…
Bowlsley: What’s that?
Bowlsley: What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Bowlsley: Get back!
Bowlsley: Put your hands over your head, put your head in your hands, put your head in your lap!
Bowlsley: You ARE crazy! I said get back, Hector!
Bowlsley: Hey, there, stranger!
Bowlsley: Can I help you?
Manny: Oh, uh…
Manny: I’m looking for something in a nine millimeter?
Bowlsley: Oooh, well I have a very pretty bouquet of that right here!
Bowlsley: There ya go. Would you like some baby’s breath to go with that?
Manny: Sure!
Bowlsley: All right, here ya go!
Bowlsley: You have a great day, now!
Bowlsley: Hey! You know what you just did???
Bowlsley: You just opened Pandora’s Box!
Bowlsley: You get out of here right now or I’ll let you have it, I’ll–
Manny: Hmmm, this gun might actually look nice with a little baby’s breath…
Manny: Freeze Hector!
Manny: I’m saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny: Bowlsley was right, this is the good stuff!
Manny: My gun doesn’t need reloading yet.
Manny: I’m not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Manny: Can’t sprout that.
Manny: That’s the most gruesome window display I’ve ever seen.
Bowlsley: That’s a gruesome display!
Manny: I’m not touching any of these human remains.
Bowlsley: I’m not touched! This human remains… sane!
Manny: At least he’s got some of the bodies on ice.
Bowlsley: …bodies on ice…
Bowlsley: They’re soldered shut!
Bowlsley: Freshness counts!
Manny: It looks like a big ball of tape, screwed to the wall.
Bowlsley: SCREWED TO THE WALL!
Manny: This must be the Bell of Lies.
Bowlsley: Ding, ding! That’s right!
Manny: Judging by the emblem, these cases are full of sproutella!
Bowlsley: Yeah, the good stuff, too!
Bowlsley: None of that slow-acting fern food that I left for Hector!
Bowlsley: SPROUTELLA!!!
Bowlsley: Fern food!
Bowlsley: Uh-uh-uh! No more flowers for you, bad boy!
Manny: I’m picking up a lot of anxiety here.
Manny: He’s almost scarier this way.
Bowlsley: If you say so!
Bowlsley: Heh-heh-heh, no foolin’ around!
Manny: Alright hand over the rest of it!
Bowlsley: Oh, now, don’t get greedy!
Bowlsley: I got a twelve-gauge bouquet under the counter and it’s pointed straight at ya!
Manny: This door has a strange ball of tape screwed onto the doorjamb.
Bowlsley: …ball of tape…
Bowlsley: B-bye! Come again real soon!
Manny: I’d better not expose my weapon in here…
Manny: Probably security cameras everywhere.
Meche: I’m going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Manny: Hey, these work without money!
Manny: Maybe Hector’s not all that bad!
Manny: I knew it! They’re all fixed!
Manny: Hey!!
Manny: Oh you’re kidding me?
Manny: It only pays off if you bet? That’s not fair!
Manny: Going up?
Brennis: This elevator goes up straight to the penthouse suite of Hector LeMans.
Brennis: Mr. LeMans, he only do the business with the very select, elite clientele.
Manny: I’m select, and I’m VERY elite!
Brennis: You look like you work in a meat locker to me, pal.
Manny: These aren’t my regular clothes!
Brennis: Well, when you get your regular clothes, I’ll give you the regular treatment.
Manny: Out of my way! I’m in SHOW BUSINESS!
Brennis: What show?
Brennis: Yukon Follies?
Brennis: Ha ha ha!
Manny: Look, I just want you to understand that I’m totally sympathetic…
Manny: …to the extremely intense power trip you’re on, but–
Brennis: Beat it!
Brennis: Or should I say, “MUSH?” Huh-huh!
Manny: Hey, weren’t you once a tube switcher repairman?
Brennis: Yeah, but they took out that whole tube system…
Brennis: It kept getting jammed. Not my fault.
Brennis: Now, finally, I am free to pursue my one true desire.
Manny: Elevator operation?
Brennis: YES.
Manny: Johnny Thunder isn’t gonna be happy about this.
Brennis: Maybe Mr. Thunder needs to spend more money on wardrobe.
Manny: Buenos dÌas.
Meche: Back off, sleaze ball, or my husband here will bust your jaw.
Manny: Meche, it’s me!
Meche: Manny? That’s some costume!
Meche: Here…
Meche: Help me get Mr. High Roller here into this sheet so we can get out of here!
Manny: Er, Why do you want to get him into a sheet?
Meche: I told him there was a big toga party at the Casino Romano, but he had to wear this sheet to get in.
Meche: After he changes, you take his suit and go upstairs, get it?
Manny: Hmmm, you’re trickier than I thought.
Manny: I know this guy–he can play the slots for days…
Meche: He said as soon as this machine pays off, he’ll come with me.
Manny: Hola!
Charlie: No drinks for me, thanks!
Manny: Hey, come on ese–the party’s moving on to the Casino Romano! Orale!
Charlie: I’m not leaving until this fat lady sings!
Charlie: No one-armed bandit can outsmart Chowchilla Charlie!
Charlie: Hey! Is that you young lady?
Charlie: Not again!
Charlie: I’ll get you!
Charlie: Ahh!
Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: Help!
Charlie: Not funny!
Charlie: Ack!
Charlie: Grrrr!
Charlie: Oh for cryin’ out loud…
Charlie: Young lady!
Charlie: Rrrrr!
Charlie: You must be patient, my kitten, rrrrrr!
Charlie: I’ll escort you to your party, just as soon as my system pays off here…
Manny: Hey, what’s going on under that raincoat?
Unicycle man: I don’t know, what’s going on under that makeup…
Unicycle man: …AGENT CALAVERA?
Manny: You? Didn’t Salvador chop you in half earlier this evening?
Unicycle man: Yes, which has given me this glorious opportunity to serve the cause…
Unicycle man: …by gathering funds for the L.S.A. while stealing from our arch-enemy at the same time!
Manny: What exactly are you doing with these slot machines?
Unicycle man: I stick myself inside, like a finger down the throat of Hector LeMans himself!
Unicycle man: And I make the machine regurgitate the wealth it has devoured!
Manny: Ehhh.
Manny: Can you crack any machine?
Unicycle man: None of these unholy temples is safe from the L.S.A!
Unicycle man: Mira!
Manny: There’s a machine over here that seems unbeatable…
Unicycle man: That one with the sucker planted in front?
Unicycle man: Tell me when he gives up, and I’ll make it cough cold change!
Manny: Special assignment just in from Salvador!
Manny: Crack that machine and leave the change, right away!
Unicycle man: YES SIR!
Charlie: I did it! My system worked! I knew it! I told you!
Meche: That’s great! Now let’s go so you can buy me a drink at the Romano!
Manny: I’ll meet you at the train station with the tickets.
Manny: There won’t be one for me, so you’ll have to go back by yourself.
Meche: I’ll tell that gate keeper everything. He has to help us!
Charlie: Come, my lovely, I have another infallible system I’d like to demonstrate. Rrrrr…
Manny: Meche got this sheet for CHARLIE.
Manny: Where she got this sheet, I don’t want to know.
Manny: I think this is his good side.
Manny: I’m not going up there unarmed!
Manny: Hey, if I were wearing this toga, could I go upstairs?
Brennis: You’re getting us confused with the Casino Romano, pal.
Manny: If Hector really is a forty-foot tall robot made out of liquid steel, I’m in big trouble.
Manny: I’d take it home, but it would clash with my GOLD forty-foot statue of Hector.
Manny: Covering that up WOULD help the decor around here.
Manny: What’s Chowchilla Charlie doing here in Hector’s casino?
Manny: I knew that suitcase full of counterfeit tickets wasn’t his!
Manny: He always did love the slots.
Manny: There’s got to be a better way to get him off that stool.
Manny: I wonder if she’s intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny: Here.
Meche: No, I’ve tried already, it’s your turn!
Manny: This is where Hector rips off the people too poor to go upstairs.
Manny: It’s not closing time, why should I cover up the machines?
Manny: Ah, heh, heh! That reminds me of this crazy office halloween party we had once…
Manny: Something strange is going on under that raincoat.
Manny: That’s one dedicated soldier.
Manny: “Men.”
Manny: Hoy! Que alivio!
Manny: I can’t remember the last time I had access to a men’s room.
Manny: I’m okay for now.
Manny: Little tight in the shoulders, but at least it doesn’t reek of sled dog.
Manny: I’m not putting those clothes back on–they stink!
Manny: I’m here to conduct business with Hector LeMans.
Manny: I just spoke with him on the phone, and he’s expecting me.
Brennis: You know Hector LeMans, eh?
Brennis: Hokie-dokie! Then answer me this ONE simple question…
Manny: All right. Let’s go, Buddy.
Brennis: Uh…. okay.
Brennis: How many casinos does Hector LeMans own?
Brennis: How old was Hector LeMans when he stole his first dollar?
Brennis: How many limos does Hector LeMans have in his garage?
Brennis: What is Hector LeMans’ personal record for simultaneous cigar smoking?
Brennis: How many “Stones” might an Englishman say that Hector LeMans weighs?
Brennis: What is the circumference of Hector LeMans’ head, in inches?
Brennis: How many times has Hector LeMans unsuccessfully run for Mayor?
Brennis: How many times has Hector LeMans run for Mayor and won?
Brennis: What are the odds in a million of Hector LeMans’s slot machine paying out?
Brennis: How many days after each dental appointment does Hector LeMans floss his teethses?
Brennis: What is Hector LeMans favorite PRIME number?
Brennis: What is Hector LeMans’ specific gravity, in units of one thousand per?
Brennis: If Hector LeMans were driving a car fifty miles an hour, then what number am I thinking of right now?
Brennis: If Hector LeMans were a cat, how many lives would he have?
Brennis: If you were a cat, how many of you could Hector LeMans fit in his stomach?
Manny: Yes.
Brennis: Yeah, well…
Brennis: …that was an easy one.
Manny: Too bad. I win.
Brennis: Best two out of three.
Manny: Don’t mess with me, I know Hector LeMans.
Manny: What? What kind of question is that?
Brennis: Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Brennis: I guess you don’t know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny: You’re making up these questions.
Brennis: I’m sure it would seem that way to someone…
Brennis: WHO DOESN’T KNOW HECTOR LEMANS!
Manny: Well, here goes nothing!
Hector: Ha ha ha! I knew you could change her m–
Hector: What? Who are YOU?
Manny: I’m the grim–
Manny: Let’s try this one more time.
Hector: You’ll have to wait your turn–I’m in the middle of some very frustrating negotiations here!
Hector: Ahhhh!
Celso: Oh, I wouldn’t talk to him right now…
Celso: He’s mad at us because we won’t buy his tickets
Celso: Mr. LeMans, we’ve decided to take you up on your generous offer.
Hector: Excellent! Excellent!
Hector: The little lady changed your mind, eh?
Celso: No, actually it was your agent over there.
Hector: Well, ah, uh, of…of course, heh, he’s one of my best! Uh-hah-mmm-hmm!
Hector: Well come on in and let’s chat, shall we?
Manny: (sigh)
Manny: Still got it.
Hector: I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what spell you cast on the Flores couple…
Hector: But stick around…
Hector: Once I’m done with them, there’s something across town I’d like to show you.
Manny: Looks like Celso found his wife after all.
Manny: “Through this dark portal, an innocent man shall pass…
Manny: …and arrive on the other side, innocent still, but colder of heart.”
Manny: I’ll bet Hector pauses here every day, and thinks to himself…
Manny: “Boy I wish I could see past my gut and enjoy my expensive monogrammed floor!”
Manny: No, I’ve come this far. I have to go through with it.
Manny: Celso Flores?
Manny: What are you doing in Hector LeMans’ waiting room?
Celso: Oh, he sent us out here to make up our minds about his offer…
Celso: Who are you, if you don’t mind me asking?
Manny: So, are we ready for our ride on the big train?
Celso: Well…
Manny: I’m your travel agent!
Celso: Oh, I have a travel agent already.
Celso: But he’s miles away mopping floors in an automat, so I suppose the position is open…
Manny: Actually, I work for Hector. He sent me to answer your questions.
Celso: Eh–I’ll handle this my sweet one.
Celso: What can you tell me about these “Double-N” tickets?
Celso: This price seems much more than “double…”
Manny: Do you have any other questions I might be able to help you with?
Celso: We’re just still so concerned about the price of these tickets…
Manny: It’s a scam. The tickets are counterfeit. Take your money and run.
Celso: Ho ho ho!
Celso: Don’t try any of that tricky “reverse psychology” on me, my friend!
Manny: Well, they COST a mint, because they SAVE you a mint.
Celso: Well I don’t HAVE a mint, so what do I care?
Manny: The real question is, don’t you feel that you’re worth it?
Celso: I know WE’RE worth it, but are the TICKETS worth it?
Manny: What exactly are you saving your money for? A rainy day?
Manny: ‘Cuz let me tell you–You’re dead.
Manny: Every day is rainy from now on.
Celso: Yes, but that’s no reason not to be careful with your money!
Manny: Well, enough about you guys, let me tell you about my problems.
Celso: Actually we have a lot of talking we need to do so…
Manny: This makeup breathes about as much as vulcanized rubber!
Celso: Yes, but it brings out your strong jaw.
Manny: I can’t raise my arms in this suit!
Celso: Well, let’s just hope no one pulls a gun on you tonight, huh?
Manny: I just got back from the worst vacation I’ve ever had!
Celso: Actually, I just got back from quite an adventure myself, so…
Manny: Well, I’m sure you’ve seen flying spiders and flaming beavers, but trust me, it gets worse!
Manny: You see, I’ve been to the edge of the world and back…
Celso: I had no idea traveling the Land of the Dead was so fraught with peril!
Manny: Now how much would you pay, just to skip the whole thing?
Celso: Darling, come.
Celso: Let us blow our nest egg, together.
Manny: Okay, I guess you don’t care about my problems.
Celso: Well, it’s not that we don’t care, it’s just that we’re a little busy…
Manny: Is this your wife, Celso?
Celso: Yes, we’ve just returned from a lovely cruise…
Celso: Well, it became lovely once I caught up with you, my little tamale.
Manny: Okay, just let me vent a teeny bit more.
Celso: I really don’t see how that could help us make up our minds…
Manny: Well, if you need more help with your decision, I’ll be around!
Celso: Yes, well, thank you.
Manny: Well, it was going to happen eventually!
Manny: Ay Chihuahua!
Manny: Hello? Pigeons?
Manny: Friends now?
Manny: No, I have to get to that suitcase before the tickets blow away!
Manny: I think using that old gargoyle as a structural support for glamour girl here was a BAD idea.
Manny: It’s cracked, but still stronger than me.
Manny: Well, so much for my third arm.
Manny: It’s sproutella, not spackle!
Manny: They look bony to me, but she probably thinks they’re fat.
Manny: Too steep to climb.
Manny: I bet I could get over to the other roof on the leg of this sign…
Manny: …but the leg’s pointed too far down, and it looks like Hector blew the motor.
Manny: The old place looks deserted inside.
Manny: They’re screwed shut!
Manny: Well, she’s the biggest scarecrow I’ve ever seen, but whatever keeps the pigeons away is fine with me.
Manny: She looks so peaceful…
Limones: Manuel, listen carefully!
Limones: There is a gun in the trunk of this car, but the trunk key is with my body, somewhere in the meadow behind the greenhouse!
Limones: Find it!
Manny: Right!
Limones: And tell Eva that I know she will guide the Alliance wisely when I am gone.
Limones: For when I bite this explosive tooth, the deadly cloud will sprout not just my target…
Limones: …But me as well.
Manny: Your target? What are you–
Olivia: Hey! Get out of there!
Limones: Farewell, my friend!
Olivia: What were you talking about with the HEAD of the L.S.A. in there?
Olivia: Huh, Sal? Got something you want to share with the class?
Limones: Only this…
Limones: VIVA LA REVOLUCI”N!
Olivia: Aaaaaah!
Limones: Aah!
Olivia: Aaaiiie, aaaaahhh!
Manny: It’s amazing how Salvador’s ticket is still drawn to him!
Manny: He truly gave his body to the cause.
Manny: Salvador’s remains can stay right here, where it’s warm.
Manny: Salvador’s ticket still seems to have a lot of kick left.
Manny: It seems to be attracted to something over this way.
Manny: It’s not doing anything now.
Manny: Can’t… unfold it…
Manny: “Liquid Nitrogen — Not to be used on bone.”
Manny: Too weak… to grind…
Manny: Ohhhh…
Manny: Ahhhh…
Manny: Ach!
Manny: Eeeeeh!
Manny: Oh, ohhhhh!
Manny: Gaaah!
Manny: Aaaaaggh!
Manny: Aaah.
Manny: Gracias, Toto Santos!
Manny: Green… spreading…
Manny: So… painful…
Manny: I’d claw it out, but I don’t have the strength.
Olivia: Time for you to swing, Daddy-O.
Olivia: Let’s see you walk.
Manny: These flowers… all people Hector has sprouted?
Olivia: Hey, when you’re on top, like my boyfriend Hector is…
Olivia: You make a lot of enemies.
Olivia: What?
Manny: You know, you have really bad taste in men.
Olivia: No, I have a taste for really bad men…
Olivia: There’s a difference.
Olivia: I thought I told you to scat, man!
Olivia: Look, tiptoe through the tulips already!
Olivia: Hey baby, take all the time you want, but you gotta go face the music sooner or later.
Olivia: Come on, shake it for me, baby!
Olivia: One of you must be mine!
Olivia: Rrrrr.
Hector: Olivia?
Hector: Who’s out there?
Manny: I’m the Grim Reaper, lard-ass!
Manny: And you’re my next customer!
Manny: People who live in glass houses get pretty good at ducking I see!
Manny: You can’t escape the Grim Reaper, Hector!
Manny: Especially not when he’s got a gun!
Manny: That’s for Salvador!
Manny: That’s for my crew on the SS Lola!
Manny: And that’s for LOLA herself!
Hector: Who’s Lola?
Hector: Ha!
Hector: Ho-ho!
Hector: Nice try!
Hector: Shouldn’t you be a patch of posies by now?
Hector: Come on, shorty!
Hector: Over here, Annie Oakley!
Hector: Nice dress, by the way!
Hector: Ah ha!
Hector: Closer!
Hector: You’re on a downhill disadvantage, Manny!
Hector: I’ve got ammo in here for five years!
Hector: Is that your best?
HHector: Eh?
hHector: Ahhh.
hHector: Ahhhhh!
Hector: Ah-HAAAAAAAAAA!
Manny: This must be the key to Salvador’s trunk.
Manny: It only works on Salvador’s trunk, I’ll bet.
Manny: Nothing like the real McCoy.
Manny: After I deal with Hector.
Manny: Well what do you know… Sal had a ticket all along.
Manny: Figures. Doesn’t seem to be one for me.
Manny: I hope the L.S.A. got a good deal on this car!
Manny: I can’t leave until I know Hector is finished.
Manny: Ah yes, LOTS of ammo!
Manny: This must be Hector’s murderous mausoleum.
Manny: He’s a better ducker than I would have imagined.
Manny: This is the way in. I just hope there’s a way out.
Manny: What’s going on in there?
Manny: I’m not going in there until I’m packing some chlorophyll.
Manny: I’m not getting any closer until he runs out of ammo…
Manny: …IF he runs out of ammo, that is.
Manny: Hmmm…Hector supplies water to keep the flowers alive?
Manny: Does he see them as a memorial, or as trophies?
Manny: Not thirsty.
Manny: Hey, how’d you get free?
Chepito: I was born free, Boatnik!
Chepito: Nobody GAVE me no ticket, so nobody can TAKE it away.
Manny: So, what are you pacing around here for?
Chepito: Trying to unwind a little bit–all those years, circling in one direction…
Chepito: Gotta even out my life in this world before I go on to the next, you know!
Chepito: Well that outta do ‘er!
Manny: Good bye, Chepito!
Chepito: Happy trails, Captain.
Chepito: And thanks for settin’ me straight back there in the drink!
Manny: Oh, not again.
Manny: I’d rather reason with him.
Manny: Hey, can I read you this scary note?
Chepito: Whatever!
Chepito: Jumpin’ grunions!
Chepito: I’d get out of here, if I were you!
Manny: I hereby dub thee, “Chepito’s Fountain…”
Manny: In honor of the strange oily film he left upon your waters.
Manny: I could march around in it like Chepito…
Manny: …but I think a better way to even out my life would be to go get those tickets.
Manny: Wow.
Manny: This mural has all the stuff we didn’t put in the brochures.
Manny: I’d rather just buy the postcard in the giftshop.
Manny: I don’t need a map now, I’m here!
Manny: That’s it.
Manny: The portal to the Ninth Underworld.
Manny: I could actually do it.
Manny: I could walk out of this world right now and not look back…
Manny: But I can’t. I can’t do it.
Manny: I’m not leaving without the people I promised to save!
Manny: This is the way out of the train station.
Manny: I’ve got nothing on me.
Manny: [panting] Hey, enough already!
Manny: Give me that!
Glottis: Oh, walk through someone’s campfire?
Manny: I don’t want to talk about it.
Velasco: This going to be an annual thing with you, Manny?
Velasco: Every Day of the Dead, you toss your bones into the drink, and I fish ’em out?
Manny: I don’t plan to be around that long, Velasco.
Manny: As soon as I find out where that ocean liner’s going, I’m after it.
Velasco: Ha-ha! That ship’s going to Puerto Zapato!
Velasco: That’s the other side of the world!
Velasco: There ain’t no ships going out that way but the ol’ Limbo here, but–
Manny: But nothing.
Manny: If the Limbo’s my only hope, then I’m already on board.
Velasco: Weeeeeeeell, good luck, son. That’s all I got to say.
Large hitman: Custom officials! Open this door!
Large hitman: Open this door!
Small hitman: Yeah, we wanna check your bags.
Glottis: Don’t worry, Captain!
Glottis: We’re safe in here.
Large hitman: Okay, let’s just set the explosives and get the Hell out of here!
Glottis: Manny? Is that…
Chepito: THE PEARL!
Chepito: WOOO-EEE!
Chepito: I KNEW I’D FIND HER SOME DAY!
Chepito: I’M RICH-RICH-RICH-RICH-RICH!
Manny: Shhh!
Manny: Something’s happening.
Glottis: Manny?
Glottis: What’s going on?
Manny: I don’t know, but I don’t like the way that thing’s looking at us.
Pugsy: Careful, Bibi.
Pugsy: The new boss is waking up.
Manny: Here–what good’s a relationship without trust?
Meche: True. A relationship without trust is about as empty…
Meche: …as A GUN WITHOUT BULLETS.
Meche: Guess you didn’t realize a smart girl always keeps an extra round in her hat…
Meche: …for mad days.
Meche: Come on, let’s go.
Manny: Meche, you don’t know what yet…
Meche: I know exactly what I’m doing! Now move!
Meche: Now, move!
Manny: Meche, if you’d just liste–
Meche: Enough, Manny!
Manny: Would you just listen to MY escape plan first…
Domino: Trouble in paradise, kids?
Meche: You’re letting us go right now, or your boy Friday here gets it!
Domino: Well, I hate to see you go, Manny, but uh…
Domino: The lady seems to have made up her mind.
Meche: I’m serious, I’ll shoot him.
Domino: Fine!
Domino: He really doesn’t work for me anyway.
Meche: But I thought he–
Meche: I’ll shoot you then.
Domino: No, you won’t.
Domino: You’re too good, remember?
Meche: I’m not!
Meche: I’m not good anymore!
Meche: You’ve taken that out of me, keeping me a prisoner here!
Meche: I’m going to crack you open like a fake Ming vase!
Meche: I’m gonna–
Domino: Ahh…
Domino: Kid’s all right.
Domino: Hahahaha. She’s a firecracker…
Domino: But a night in the cooler usually dampens her fuse.
Manny: Glottis?
Manny: Where did you go this time?
Manny: °Dios mÌo!
Glottis: She’s been…
Manny: Okay, I think I could follow the trail this way, but I need a little light.
Glottis: Hey, what’s that?
Manny: That must be the Florists’ hideout!
Glottis: No, not that–the thing coming at us!
Meche: AAAAAAA!
Limones: Hola, Manuel.
Manny: Hmmm.
Manny: No use for it.
Manny: Not picking that up.
Manny: I don’t really want to do that.
Manny: Nah.
Manny: Don’t think so.
Manny: Not portable.
Manny: Mmmm.
Manny: Can’t reach.
Manny: It’s empty.
Manny: It’s locked.
Manny: It won’t budge.
Manny: With what?
Manny: I don’t think that would shed any light on things.
Manny: Nobody there.
Manny: Yeah, right!
Manny: It’s HUGE.
Manny: No.
Manny: That wouldn’t be very nice.
Manny: That’s against the Reaper’s code.
Manny: I would, but it’s full.
Manny: I don’t need the hernia.
Manny: Not moving any furniture today.
Manny: Not right now.
Manny: Not while he’s watching
Manny: Rather not.
Manny: That would probably get me court-martialed!
Manny: That’s not how you use one of those.
Manny: Now, that WOULD be something!
Manny: I don’t have a pocket big enough for this!
Manny: I left my tow truck back in my other suit.
Manny: I don’t need one of those.
Manny: If I touched that stuff, I’d end up with morning glory mittens.
Manny: Done that already.
Manny: Already got some.
Manny: Don’t need it.
Manny: That soul has already been reaped.
Manny: Demons can’t be reaped.
Manny: It’s attached pretty well.
Manny: That’s as far as it goes.
Manny: It’s bolted down.
Manny: It’s open.
Manny: It’s closed.
Manny: It’s a ladder.
Manny: We’re underwater–we’re not on the moon.
Manny: That’s the way out.
Manny: The elevator’s already on this floor.
Manny: Sorry for the wait, Mr. Flores.
Manny: I am ready to take you now.
Celso: Take me? Take me where?
Manny: Now, now…
Manny: There’s no need to be nervous.
Celso: N-nervous? N-no… I-i-it’s just your appearance… It’s, well, a little intimidating…
Manny: Intimidating? Me? But I’m your friend! My name’s Manny Calavera. I’m your new travel agent!
Celso: I don’t want a new travel agent. I want to go home.
Manny: Ha Ha! You can’t go home, Celso. You’re dead. But you’re not alone…
Manny: Everybody here is just as dead as you.
Manny: That’s why we call it the “Land of the Dead.”
Manny: Are you ready for your big journey?
Celso: No!
Celso: What journey?
Manny: The Four-Year Journey of the Soul. It is quite a big trip. And I can’t lie to you, Celso.
Manny: It could be very, very dangerous.
Manny: Unless…you were to take that money you were buried with and buy a better travel package from us!
Manny: I mean, wouldn’t you rather cross the Land of the Dead in your own sports car? Maybe try a luxury ocean cruise? Or, if you led a very good life, you may even be eligible for a ticket on the Number Nine itself!
Celso: The Number Nine?
Manny: That’s our top-of-the-line express train. It shoots straight to the Ninth Underworld, the Land of Eternal Rest, in four minutes instead of four years. But very few people qualify. Let’s take a look at your records.
Manny: Hmmm?
Manny: Hmmm… Well, the bad news is the train appears to be just out of your reach. But I still got a coupla tricks up my sleeve here…
Manny: Mmm-hmmm… Yah-ha. Yes… That’s the ticket…
Manny: …the “EXCELSIOR LINE”!
Manny: Yes, she’s a beauty. That compass in the handle will sure come in handy, too…
Manny: Oh, you’re going to have a great trip. Wish I was going!
Celso: Why don’t you? You could give me a lift.
Manny: Oh, I can’t leave here until I’ve worked off a little debt to the powers that be…
Celso: Community service, eh?
Celso: Well, I guess there are some folks worse off than me.
Manny: Oh, I’ll be leaving here soon enough!
Manny: No thanks to dead-end, no-commission, low-life cases like yours, menso.
Eva: Hey, Manny. The boss told me to tell you not to leave early tonight. He wants to talk to you about something when he gets back from his trip.
Manny: Tell Don not to worry…
Manny: …I’m not going anywhere.
Manny: Especially not with clients like that!
Manny: Where do they get these guys? They don’t qualify for anything good, so I can’t sell anything good, can’t work off my time, and I’m stuck. Stuck selling walking sticks to a bunch of burros for eternity.
Manny: I need better clients. I need a real saint. I need a lead on a rich, dead saint.
Manny: Eva, you gotta give this thing one more go for me.
Eva: All right, but he sounds pretty madÖ
Eva: Mr. Copal? Mr. Calavera has somethin’ out here that he says he needs your signature on–
Copal: Ah, cripes, Eva! Just sign it yourself, will ya? I’m busy!
Eva: You’ll have to excuse him, Manny. It’s probably a really hard crossword puzzle he’s got in there today.
Manny: Eva, I’m impressed.
Manny: I had no idea you had this kind of power.
Eva: Well, we all have our secrets.
Glottis: Gdak. Gahh. Ahh. Nuhh.
Glottis: Hey, I look good in this, don’t I? Heh heh.
Manny: Yeah, well, they say black is slimming…
Glottis: I’m drivin’! Yeah! I’m drivin’! RrrrrrrrmmmmmmAahaha!
Glottis: Brrrrrrr!
Manny: Por favor.
Manny: …but we offer several travel package upgrades if you’d care to–
Bruno: Cut the yap. I want something cheap where I can get some rest, and that’s it.
Manny: Ay ay ay.
Glottis: You know, Manny, I could make this car a little faster. If you wanted…
Manny: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Glottis: Oh yeah, slam the front into the weeds, tub the rear end, dual blowers poppin’ outta the hood!
Glottis: Wah-wah-wah-wah-WAAAAAH! Wah-wah-wah-wah-WAAAAAAAAHAAAAHHH!
Manny: You’ll get plenty of rest this way, Mr. Martinez, and you’ll be safely padded by the foam created when these two chemicals mix, like this.
Bruno: Uh, on second thought, I wanna upgrade my package!
Manny: Sorry, Bruno, but you didn’t qualify for anything better.
Manny: But here, have this complimentary mug!
Bruno: No! Wait! Can’t you find me something where I can move my legs?
Manny: You know I’d like to, Bruno…
Manny: …but my boss is a real hard-ass.
Copal: I gotta be a hard-ass when I got lazy sickle-wavers like THIS jolly boy working for me! Manny, you couldn’t find a sale at a yacht club!
Manny: I got a sale right here!
Copal: I’m talkin’ PREMIUM sales, Calavera! Like the kind Domino makes!
Manny: How am I supposed to make premium sales with the scumbag clients you’re sending me?
Bruno: Hey!
Copal: Now you’re blamin’ the clients? I’ve had it with you, Manny! If you haven’t bagged a premium before the next sales report comes in, you’re out!
Bruno: Who you callin’ a scumbag? Why, I oughta–
Manny: Glottis! Are you loco? What got into you? That was a company car!
Glottis: Oh yeah! And it’s even better company now! Hop in! Yeeeeaha! Woo!
Manny: Buenos dÌas.
Meche: You’re not the nurse.
Manny: No.
Meche: You’re not here to give me my medication?
Manny: No, but I am here to ease your pain.
Meche: Guess they couldn’t save me, eh?
Manny: No, but there’s still a chance you could save me.
Copal: Hey! Funny Bones! In my office! Now!
Copal: You VANDALIZED company property in order to obtain SECRET INFORMATION so you could take your ILLEGALLY MODIFIED company car and your UNREGISTERED DRIVER and run Domino here off the road–
Copal: –all in order to steal a client from her legitimate agent!
Manny: There’s nothing legitimate about this place. You give all the good clients to Domino.
Domino: Manny, now I’m embarrassed for you.
Copal: You’ve embarrassed the whole office. I’m going to call the woman in here so you can apologize to her yourself.
Copal: Eva, send in Ms. Colomar, please.
Eva: She left about fifteen minutes ago, sir. She said she had a long walk ahead of her and she wanted to get started.
Copal: Walking? She had a ticket on the Number Nine! Why does she think she has to walk?
Manny: That’s the best package I could find for her…
Copal: That woman was a saint and a shoe-in for a Double-N ticket that she’s not going to get because YOU…
Copal: …just couldn’t find it! And now, because of your little stunt, she’s out there…
Copal: …on her own…
Copal: …walking by herself through the Petrified Forest, facing the demons of the underworld alone and unprotected.
Copal: Get in there and stay put until the boys downtown tell us what they want done with ya. Someone’s gonna take the fall for this, Calavera, and it ain’t gonna be me!
Manny: I’m going to blow the lid off this place!
Limones: Young man, you are an enemy of the Department of Death!
Limones: Salvador Limones and guest.
Manny: Where are you taking me?
Limones: To the headquarters of the LSA.
Manny: LSA?
Limones: The Lost Souls’ Alliance. We’re a small group, Manuel, but we’re always looking for new soldiers.
Manny: To do what, exactly?
Limones: We need help in our intelligence unit. You know Eva, of course.
Limones: I was once a reaper like yourself, Manuel. But I uncovered a web of corruption in our beloved Department of Death.
Limones: I have reason to believe that the Bureau of Acquisitions is cheating the very souls it was chartered to serve.
Manny: What’s your evidence?
Limones: That’s where you come in, Manuel. Or should I call you “Agent Calavera”?
Manny: “Manny” suits me fine. I’m not looking to join any military organization, Sal. I just want my job back so I can work off my time and get out of this dump.
Limones: Well, you won’t even be able to get out of this city without my help. Which means, of course, you won’t be able to find that woman, and you’ll never get your job back.
Limones: You must go to the town of Rubacava, my friend, if you want to find your lost soul.
Manny: How do YOU know where she is?
Limones: I don’t. But everyone who wants to get to the Ninth Underworld must cross the Sea of Lament, and therefore must go to Rubacava to get passage on a ship. As long as you get there before she does, you’ll find her, but it may be quite a wait.
Manny: I’ll wait as long as it takes.
Limones: Manuel? Are you…
Limones: …in love with her?
Manny: Love? Love is for the living, Sal. I’m only after her for one reason…
Manny: …she’s my ticket out of here.
Domino: Mr. LeMans, I assure you the missing woman will be found. I will personally track her down myself.
Hector: Just like you personally picked her up from the Land of the Living?
Domino: That was my intention, but Agent Calavera somehow got to her first.
Hector: We gave you the fastest car, Domino. We gave you all the best clients. You had all the advantages, so how was this Calavera able to sneak in there and eat your lunch?
Copal: Oh, now Hector, you can’t get too mad at Domino. That wasn’t his fault–
Hector: Oh, I can, Don. You should know I CAN get too mad. But not at Domino. After all, he wasn’t in charge of this operation.
Hector: At least, not until now.
Copal: Hector! No!
Copal: Agggggggk!
Hector: Marigolds… Hm. Funny…
Hector: For some reason, I was expecting tulips. Well, maybe Mr. Calavera, eh, Domino? Why don’t you personally go down to the basement and escort him up here? The sooner he’s sprouted and we can get back to business, the better.
Glottis: OH HEART! HEART IS GOOD! BE GOOD TO HEART! DON’T TEAR OUT HEART! HEART IS GOOD! STRONG BEATING GOOD HEART–Hey, is that my car?
Manny: (Panting) Hey, enough already!
Glottis: Oh? Walk through someone’s campfire? Ha ha!
Manny: I don’t want to talk about it.
Glottis: Manny, until now we scraped along the ground like rats, but from now on, we soar! Like eagles! Yeah! LIKE EAGLES…ON…POGO STICKS!!!
Manny: What a relief. I was getting concerned that our transportation wasn’t ostentatious enough.
Glottis: Get in! Or are you afraid of heights?
Manny: No, just motion sickness.
Glottis: Hello?
Glottis: Ms. Colomar!
Glottis: We’re here to save you!
Manny: Hey, lay off the racket! The whole town’s asleep!
Glottis: But I wanna drag race! When they get a load o’ my car, we’re gonna be the talk of the town! Heh.
Manny: You’re right. We’re gonna have to find a good place to hide that road show.
Manny: Speaking of hiding, I wonder if Meche’s here already? I’m gonna go see what I can stir up. Not a bad piece of real estate, actually. It’s got potential…
Manny: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Velasco: Ohhh, tourists!
Velasco: You gotta watch your step around here, stranger. Rubacava ain’t the quaint little port town she used to be.
Velasco: Wwwweeell-hell-hell. Looks like there’s a new vessel in town. Pardon me whilst I go check her out!
Lupe: Hey, Boss! You gonna come downstairs? I got a customer asking for ya.
Manny: You know I don’t like to mingle with the customers.
Lupe: Well, you may wanna mingle with this one.
Manny: Meche?
Meche: Manny. Help me. I’ve been lost for so long, why didn’t you look for me?
Manny: I did! You ran off!
Manny: Why?
Meche: Because you said I was no good. I’ve been all alone in the world for a whole year…
Meche: AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!
Velasco: This going to be an annual thing with you, Manny? Every Day of the Dead, you toss your bones into the drink, and I fish ’em out? Hmph.
Manny: I don’t plan to be around that long, Velasco. As soon as I find out where that ocean liner’s going I’m after it.
Velasco: Ha! That ship’s going to Puerto Zapato! That’s the other side of the world! There ain’t no ships going out that way but the ol’ Limbo hereÖ
Velasco: …but–
Manny: But nothing. If the Limbo’s my only hope, then I’m already on board.
Velasco: Weeeeeeell, good luck, son. That’s all I got to say. Ho ho! Ha ha ha ha!
Manny: Lola? What are you doing here? This crowd doesn’t go much for souvenir pictures. Except, maybe of LeninÖ
Lola: Shhh! Manny, I’m on a stakeout! I’m gonna prove to Maximino once and for all that Olivia’s no good for him.
Manny: Still hung up on Max, eh? Take my advice, Angel. Forget about him. He’s a gambling racketeer–
Lola: Ha ha. Like you?
Manny: Oh, that hurts, baby.
Lola: Shhh! Here they come!
Virago: Come on, sugar. A kiss for the road.
Olivia: Oh, ick. Don’t let me down, Nick. You’re a lawyer. You’re not supposed to have feelings.
Virago: I don’t but I know a good tort when I see one.
Virago: Hey!
Virago: If Maximino sees that, we’re gonna end up in matching terracotta pots!
Olivia: Don’t be silly.
Olivia: He wouldn’t hurt me.
Olivia: He LOVES me.
Toto: [Hey! Hold still!] Hold still!
Toto: What are you? DEAD! Ach!
Toto: What kind of sailor are you–OOF!–Can’t handle booze, huh?
Toto: Velasco? Toto! I got your boy Naranja here.
Toto: M.I.A, he is? Well, he sober up, I send him to Limbo. Yeah, yeah-he’ll make it there by morning. Promise!
Velasco: Ah, what?
Membrillo: Naranja.
Velasco: What? How? Ö Sprouted? But – Ah this town’s going to Hell! Sailor can’t even take a two-day shore leave without watching his backÖ Yeah, yeah. I’ll come down in the morning.
Velasco: (sighs)
Manny: I think these are the words you’re looking for.
Terry: …who will stop the fat cats of industry from building these ships with the pollen of the exploited working class?
Sea bees: Yeah! … sick ‘n’ tired … Yeah! … no more … Yeah! Yeah!
Terry: I say we fight back!
Sea bees: Yeah! … sick ‘n’ tired … Yeah! … no more … Yeah! Yeah!
Bogen: Hmmmm. What’s this? Maybe a bee agitator?
Terry: I say lay down your tools right now and show the man just who makes the honey around here!
Bogen: That does it!
Sea bees: (crowd chants “Union” over and over)
Bogen: You know, I always thought bees came in two colors: yellow and black. But you look all red to me, my friend.
Terry: Ah! Hey! What are you doing? We’ve got the right to assemble peacefully!
Bogen: Good. You’re going to need a lot of assembly after we take you apart, comrade.
Terry: Manny! Get me a lawyer! Get me a lawyer!
Sea bees: (grumble)
Manny: Bogen? That’s gonna make it tough to spring the kid and get him back out here…
Lola: MannyÖ
Manny: Lola?
Lola: Careful, Manny. You may not wanna see me like this…
Manny: Lola! Did Nick do this to you?
Lola: Yeah, he wanted that picture real bad. But he’s never gonna find it, that fink.
Manny: I’ll get him, Lola. I’ll show Max the picture for you and fix Nick for good. Just tell me where you hid it.
Lola: Oh, Manny, it’s all my fault. Always fallin’ for the wrong guys. Y’know, I even had a thing for you once. But you were so hung up on that Meche woman, I…I figured I didn’t have a chance.
Manny: Lola, where’s the picture?
Lola: Tell me, Manny. Would I have had a chance?
Lola: Never mind.
Lola: J-just warn Olivia for me. Tell her to improve her taste in men or she’ll end up just like me. Tell her to get a nice guy, Manny, like you…
Manny: Lola! Lola!
Manny: Look what I found at the photo finish boothÖ
Manny: Looks like “Naughty Kitten” and “Bad Tom Cat” are neck-and-neckÖ
Virago: What do you want?
Manny: I want to tell you a sad story of a young man, unjustly imprisoned, merely for speaking his mindÖ
Terry: It’s time to shake up the hive!
Virago: I guess our business is settled.
Manny: Almost.
Virago: What? Was that for the photo girl?
Manny: No. That was just for being you.
Croupier: Fourteen! Fourteen is the winner!
Croupier: Le quatorze! NumÈro quatorze est le gagnant!
Bogen: I think you mean two, am I correct?
Croupier: Eh, no monsieur. Fourteen is the winner.
Bogen: I think you’ve made a mistake.
Croupier: I’m sorry, sir. Fourteen is the winning number. Better luck next time, eh?
Bogen: That does it! That Calavera’s getting too big for his britches. I don’t like raiding businesses, and shutting them down, but someone’s got to teach Manuel a lesson in law and order.
Bogen: This way, back here. Open those paddy wagons up and start filling them. And somebody find Calavera. I want to interrogate him personally!
Glottis: Hey, come on! You gotta let me back in! I’M A VIP!
Manny: Does that stand for Very Inebriated Pianist?
Glottis: Aw, Manny. I don’t want to be a pianist anymore. I’m a mechanic!
Manny: I know. That’s why I got you a new job. Come on, let’s go pick up your tools.
Glottis: And I can do whatever I want to the engine? Make it faster?
Velasco: Sure, but you’ll be plenty busy just keeping her afloat.
Manny: Thanks for the gig. And for not asking too many questions.
Velasco: Hell, after what happened to Naranja, I can see why you’d leave town. Let’s just hope I don’t have to go fishin’ ya out of the drink again.
Manny: I’ll stay under next time, I promise.
Ensign Arnold: Captain? Captain Calavera?
Manny: Puerto Zapato, sailor! We’re here at last! Beautiful port, isn’t she?
Ensign Arnold: Yessir! There’s some customs officials down below, sir. They want to search the ship.
Manny: Fine, fine. We’ve got nothing to hide, eh?
Manny: No skeletons in OUR closets! Haha!
Ensign Arnold: Yessir!
Manny: Secure the bow, boys! Like a rock this time!
Limones: Manuel–
Manny: Salvador?
Small hitman: Hey! He’s back here!
Large hitman: Sack him!
Large hitman: Customs officials! Open this door!
Small hitman: Yeah, we wanna check your bags.
Glottis: Don’t worry, Manny. We’re safe in here.
Large hitman: Okay, let’s just set the explosives and get the Hell out of here.
Manny: Just a little farther, Glottis!
Glottis: Grrkpt! Manny!
Manny: Now, just act like a calm person until I figure out what to do hereÖ
Chepito: Ah! I’m being mugged! Uh, uh. Take my wallet! Just don’t hurt me!
Manny: All we’re gonna take is a little hike.
Glottis: Where to?
Manny: The Pearl.
Glottis: Is that it?
Manny: It must be.
Chepito: Hoo-wee! Let’s take it! We’re RICH!
Manny: Shhh! Something’s happening.
Glottis: Manny? What’s going on?
Chepito: Ahh! Lemme go!
Chepito: Aaah! My eyebrows are going native! This rock’s trying to pluck my barnacles!
Chepito: Aaaah, oooh, hey that’s my barnacle.
Chepito: Let go of that.
Chepito: Hey leave me alone.
Chepito: Stop it.
Chepito: Let me go!
Manny: She’s coming back.
Glottis: Let’s hide in here.
Manny: Looks like we’re heading south.
Glottis: But there’s nothing on that edge of the world. Except…
Manny: The edge!
Glottis: Manny?
Manny: Don’t ask buddy, because I don’t know.
Manny: Meche!
Meche: Manny! What are you doing here?
Manny: I wanted to see how your trip was going, Angel. I am your travel agent, you know. By the way, thanks for that bottle of champagne you sent me. It really hit the spot.
Meche: You were headed for a trap, I was trying to warn you. Domino was using me like bait. I didn’t want you to end up a prisoner here like me.
Manny: Prisoner? Where’s your cell? Or are you just sharing a bunk with the warden?
Meche: If that’s what you think of me…
Meche: Then why did you come here?
Domino: Because this is where he belongs.
Domino: Here. Working for me.
Domino: I knew you’d come around eventually. Right or wrong, Manuel Calavera is always with the winning team, right, Manny? That’s why you’re here now.
Manny: I’m getting off this rock, and I’m taking all of these people with me.
Domino: Hahahahaha! Manny, there’s no way off this island. I’m afraid you’re stuck here in my little executive training program. See, I need you to take my place here, kid. I’ve got to get back to the city where the action is.
Glottis: Sorry, Manny, but I had to come in. My skin was getting all pruney.
Domino: Him, I don’t need.
Manny: I’m gonna grind you to powder for that, cabrÛn.
Domino: Maybe later…
Domino: But for now, let me just show you your new office.
Manny: Oof.
Glottis: Yeaaaaahaha!
Manny: I can’t believe you got it to float. Incredible! Ha ha ha!
Glottis: That was the easy part. The trick’s gonna be bustin’ through that big coral reef out there!
Manny: Bust through a big coral reef, eh? HmmmÖ
Manny: Well, it just so happens I’ve got some hardware up the beach you might be interested inÖ
Manny: Works like crazy! Full speed ahead!
Domino: What?
Meche: So, are you really going to bring me back and try to get your old job again?
Manny: There’s no job for me now, except to bring you and everyone else here to the end of the road.
Meche: But if you aren’t going to use me to get your job back, why did you spend all this time trying to find me?
Manny: Meche, I…
Manny: …I needed to find you.
Domino: I give you ONE job, Manny!
Manny: Ooof.
Domino: And look at you, already screwin’ it up!
Domino: I suppose you realize that this IS gonna go down on your permanent record…
Domino: I don’t BELIEVE you, Calavera…
Domino: You’re losing a fight so you pick on one of my pets???
Domino: Why aren’t you more like me, Manny? I’ve been tryin to show you how, but you don’t listen. If you’d just adopt the proper attitude…
Domino: …just look what could happen to you!
Domino: Ahhhh!
Gate keeper: Name?
Pugsy: Pugsy Peligiano, sir.
Gate keeper: Hmmm. Waiting room number two. NEXT!
Glottis: Oooooh…
Manny: Glottis? Glottis? øEst·s bien?
Manny: Hey. Where is everybody?
Gate keeper: Waiting area two.
Manny: How long do they have to wait in there?
Gate keeper: Until they have tickets. They were issued tickets on the Number Nine and they don’t have them now. The punishment for selling Double-N tickets is VERY severe.
Manny: But they didn’t sell their tickets, their tickets were stolen!
Gate keeper: By who?
Manny: Hector LeMans stole them to sell to rich people who don’t deserve them.
Gate keeper: That might be them now. Let’s see just what they deserve.
Manny: What the–
Gate keeper: THEY didn’t have tickets either. Not real ones, anyway.
Manny: Fake tickets? That’s why Hector’s been hoarding all those counterfeit tickets! He’s selling them in place of the real thing. But then that means he must still have the real onesÖ
Manny: Bruno? Bruno Martinez?
Bruno: YOU! You were the guy who packed me in there! You could have at least given me a magazine! Four years with nothing to read but this damn mug!
Bruno: I’m getting out of here. This world’s for suckers.
Mechanic 1: We shoot you now like an arrow into the wind. May you pierce the heart of the wind itself and drink the blood of flight.
Mechanic 2: Speed is the food of the Great Glottis!
Mechanic 1: Speed bring you life.
Mechanic 2: Come back to us someday!
Meche: You sure this thing’s going to hold together?
Manny: Uh, at least most of the way. Hey, look! We’re already to Rubacava!
Glottis: Oh…Manny? MANNY? Manny, where are you?
Glottis: MANNY?!? I’M FRIGHTENED!
Glottis: Ah, Rubacava! Whatta town! Remember the glory days, Manny?
Manny: Long gone, my friend. There’s nothing here for us now.
Glottis: Except maybe our old car?
Glottis: Alright! Time to suck up some road!
Olivia: If you’re going after Hector LeMans, then I’m coming along.
Meche: You can share a seat with me.
Meche: I think.
Manny: Looks like Hector’s taken over the whole town.
Olivia: He hasn’t had much resistance. There’s only one small group who oppose him, and they live out on the fringes of the city.
Manny: Places like this, you mean?
Meche: I hope they’re not hurting Glottis.
Olivia: Ha! Shows what you know about this group! Their leader is a great man who–
Limones: Manuel Calavera. We meet again. I see you have found what you were looking for. How fortunate for you to arrive now just as we, too, are about to achieve success.
Unicycle man: Trap! It was a trap!
Limones: Stand back! There’s only one thing to do.
Meche:
Limones: What did you say about a trap?
Unicycle man: Hector uncovered our agent in his weapons lab.
Limones: No!
Hector: You idiot, Bowlsley! Your new lab assistant is a SPY!
Hector: Haven’t you ever heard of a BACKGROUND CHECK!
Manny: What?
Limones: No time to explain. Now I’ll have to take matters into my own hands…
Olivia: Take me with you. I’ve longed to be of service to your cause for years.
Bowlsley: Huh?
Bowlsley: One of Hector’s messengers…
Bowlsley: W-w-with a m-m-message for me?
Bowlsley: “I know what you’re up to. I’ve been watching? I’m coming to sprout you myself?!? Yours truly, Hector LeMans!” I knew it!!!
Bowlsley: I knew he was out to get me the whole time.
Bowlsley: You’ll never find my secret hideout, Hector. You’re going to have to find yourself another florist!
Hector: YOU! Are you the one who cracked the Flores couple just now?
Manny: Wish you could have seen it. It was old school all the way.
Hector: Stay put. I’ve got to get a couple signatures, but then I want you to take a little trip with me across town.
Hector: Am I talking about just a job here? Or am I talking about opportunity, in the general sense?
Hector: This could be your office.
Hector: Here. Try this on. See how it feels. That’s yours too.
Hector: And, as an added bonus…
Hector: Two percent of these, Mr. uh…
Manny: My name’s Calavera, and I want a bigger cut.
Hector: Hm-mm-mm,huh,uh,ah,oh, but Mr. Calavera… I’m going to need most of these to get myself out of this world. You see, I’ve been a very bad boy. Ha ha!
Manny: I’m going to deliver those tickets to their rightful owners…
Manny: …and I’m going to deliver you to the compost pile.
Manny: That one must be yours.
Glottis: Don’t forget to send for help!
Meche: Ahhhhhhhh!
Manny: Ay! Run! Find Salvador!
Olivia: Get in, quick!
Manny: We were supposed to have coverage back there! Where are all of Salvador’s men?
Olivia: I don’t know.
Olivia: He hasn’t told me yet.
Olivia: Time for you to swing, Daddy-O. Let’s see you walk.
Hector: She loves me…
Hector: …she loves me not…
Manny: Well, you’re half right.
Hector: Oh Manny… so cynical… What happened to you, Manny, that caused you to lose your sense of hope, your love of life?
Manny: I died.
Hector: I see, hm-mm, I guess Domino was right, you don’t have a shred of optimism.
Manny: Well, when it comes to shreds, Dom is the expert.
Hector: And by that same logic, Manny, you’re about to become an expert in botany.
Manny: Is this where you tell me all about your secret plan, Hector? How you stole Double-N tickets from innocent souls, pretended to sell them but really hoarded them all for yourself in a desperate attempt to get out of the Land of the Dead?
Hector: No.
Hector: Hee-ah, huh, uh, huh…This is where you writhe around in excruciating pain for about an hour because that idiot Bowlsley ran off with all the fast-acting Sproutella.
Hector: Manny? Where are you going? You’ve got some time, you know, before you have to…leave. Ha ha ha!
Meche: You can count ’em if you want. They’re all here.
Gate keeper: How about yours?
Manny: The company gave me one on the other end; sort of a retirement present. And, uh…
Manny: Demons ride free, right?
Glottis: Aw, Manny. You know I can’t go with ya. I’m a spirit of the land and all that. I can’t ever leave this world.
Manny: I guess I got so wrapped up in saving people, I just assumed I’d be able to save you, too.
Glottis: Yeah, but I…I don’t need to be saved. I like it here. I’m not all alone in that basement anymore, thanks to you. I got a new job, and all these new friends. I’m a big demon success story.
Manny: So…I guess this is it, then?
Manny: Oooof!
Glottis: C’mere. Gimme a hug.
Manny: Mmmf frm mrff mrf oof!
Meche: Manny?
Manny: Yeah?
Meche: When we get to the next world…
Manny: What is it, Angel?
Meche: Are we going to be together?
Manny: You know, sweetheart, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: nobody knows what’s gonna happen at the end of the line, so you might as well enjoy the trip.
Toto: Hey! Shut door! You slow down my grinder, very painful! Very painful, eh Naranja? Like torture, Hehehe…hehe?
Toto: Shut the damn door! Nothing to eat in there! You will want a snack, go get mother!
Toto: Stay out of my fridge! [Don’t make me come in there and kick your ass!]
Toto: I kill you!
Toto: Eh? Who is over there?
Toto: [What the hell?] Look! You broke it.
Toto: Now it won’t shut.
Toto: When I am done with Naranja here, I am going to tattoo big, floppy ears on the side of your head so people will know what a jackass you are!
Toto: (busy, dismissive grunt)
Toto: Argh. Not now, Manny. I’m in the middle of something with Naranja here.
Toto: I told you Calavera, not now.
Toto: You push me to edge, Calavera!
Toto: Why are you down here, anyway?
Toto: Ah, get lost!
Toto: Don’t you have some fancy club to run someplace?
Toto: Go mark some cards or something.
Toto: Shut up!
Toto: Yeah, I got to remember to get more liquid nitrogen from morgue.
Toto: Freeze the bones, less painful that way.
Toto: You got plenty of pain killer in that bottle of yours, so shut up and hold still!
Toto: I kill the pain. Turn off my drill, stop working. How about that?
Toto: I’ll ‘pop’ you, sailor-boyÖ
Toto: You need to hold still, or I need to strap you down.
Toto: Put that crazy blade away. No room in here for that kind of thing!
Toto: What is that? Am I being inspected? Are you with the health department or something? Go away. I pay my money this month.
Toto: Not impressed.
Toto: Too big — Take off the whole arm. Only do that if design turns out bad.
Toto: Ha! Communism is dead!
Toto: But at least there was a time when “I” worked! Eh? Ha ha ha!
Toto: What? Are you trying to sell me something?
Toto: Hmmm. I haven’t had a good piece of Lengua since you shut Rub-A-Mat down! (sigh) You and your fancy food, (muttering off) with the parsley and the foil swansÖ
Toto: Manny, do you mind? Artist at work here, eh?
Toto: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That is what I told him.
Toto: Are you kidding me?
Toto: I gave him the idea in first place!
Toto: Ah, tiger can’t change his stripes.
Toto: So you still going to go?
Toto: Hey, listen to me–you’ve got to take care of yourself.
Toto: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Toto: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Toto: Sure.
Toto: Sure, of course. I understand.
Toto: Definitely.
Toto: Mmmm-hmmmm. Mmmm-hmmm.
Toto: You said that?
Toto: You’ve got guts!
Toto: Yeah, but I wouldn’t exactly call that ‘quality time.’
Toto: So, what happened after dinner?
Toto: Ah-ha. Ah-ha.
Toto: Oh, you’re kidding me!
Toto: Oh, I don’t believe it.
Toto: What about kids?
Toto: That is just crying shame.
Toto: MMMMMÖ
Toto: Well, if you didn’t tell me someone else would.
Toto: I’d tell you, but I cannot.
Toto: Someone else is here.
Toto: Let’s just say it is bad.
Toto: Yes. Yes. Tears were shed.
Toto: No, no, go…go ahead. Tell me the whole thing. I am listening.
Toto: Uh, hang on second.
Toto: AH AH AH! Get away from that!
Toto: No, no! What are you thinking?
Toto: Reach for that again, and you will pull back a stump!
Toto: You mean, besides the song, and the poem, and the bar, and the statue by that name?
Toto: Sure! It is one of my most famous designs! Here, I show you!
Toto: Let’s seeÖ uh, number thirtyÖ ah, thirty-six. Here. HeyÖ what is this?
Toto: Kissy people?
Toto: Oh, oh, yeah. Lola was here. Sweet girl. Like daughter to me. Tell her Papa Toto say hello.
Toto: Zzzzzzzz.
Toto: Zzzzzzzz.
Toto: Zzzzzzzz.
Toto: ÖHold stillÖ
Toto: Östop movingÖ
Toto: Öcolor cost moreÖ
Toto: Ödoesn’t hurtÖ
Toto: Öquit whiningÖ
Toto: Öshut your holeÖ
Toto: ÖI kill youÖ
Toto: ÖI “am”Ö I “am” an artistÖ
Toto: Öyou “asked” for bunnyÖ
Toto: Önot my faultÖ
Toto: Öyour mother will love itÖ
Toto: ÖLolaÖ
Manny: Hola, Toto. øCÛmo est·s?
Manny: What’s that you’re working on there?
Manny: Caterpillar?
Manny: A mouse?
Manny: A caterpillar eating a mouse?
Manny: Is that a shoe?
Manny: Is that supposed to be a bunny?
Manny: Looks good, whatever it is.
Manny: I think that art class has really helped.
Manny: Keep up the good work.
Manny: Can I try it for a while?
Manny: Missed a spot.
Manny: I can’t really make it out, but it looks like my parents fighting.
Manny: I think I hear you grinding your teeth. You really shouldn’t do that.
Manny: I’m thinking about heading out for donuts. Want anything?
Manny: It’s a little cabinet.
Manny: It’s empty.
Manny: Liquid nitrogen?
Manny: Strong stuff. That oughta kill the pain.
Manny: That’s one old fridge.
Manny: Nothin’ in there but stains.
Manny: Looks like a lettuce crisper.
Manny: Ö”smells” more like a “fungus” crisper to me, though.
Manny: Lot of stains for a guy with no bodily fluids.
Manny: I really doubt I’ll be touching that any time soon.
Manny: Oooh, that reminds me. I forgot about my date with Inez!
Manny: Hello, operator?
Manny: Yeah, it’s me baby. How’d you know?
Manny: Hey, don’t say that sweetheart. You know I meant to stop by–
Manny: I’m more happy about leaving town every minute.
Manny: I think I’ll stay off the phone for a while. Just until Inez calms down.
Manny: Doesn’t look like YOU’LL be showing up to work in the morning.
Manny: Let’s see what you got on ya sailor.
Manny: HmmmÖ
Manny: Seaman Anselmo Naranja. Ensign, third class.
Manny: So are we.
Manny: Never get “me” under that thing.
Manny: This mean anything to you?
Manny: Yes.
Manny: My friend Lola left that here for me.
Manny: Sure thing.
Manny: I’m sick of waiting around for a good lead, like it’s going to fly in here tied to a brick.
Manny: It’s time to TAKE one.
Bruno: MrmrMRRmr! MrmrMRRmr! MrmrMRRmr! MRR! MrmrMRRmr!
Lupe: She sounds like your type.
Unicycle man: Thank you, sir! You have saved me, but more than that, you have enabled me to continue to serve the movement.
Olivia: (gasp)
Toto: [Lola….]
Manny: (panting)
Manny: Dios mÌo.
Glottis: Whooooaaaa!…Ooof!….Ugh.
Glottis: Aw, man.
Manny: Amor.
Eva: Manny.
Manny: Ay, Chihuahua!
Manny: Ooomph.
Glottis: Whoop! Waaaaaaaaaa!
Manny: Ugh!
Manny: Aggk!
Manny: Aggh!
Manny: Argh!
Manny: Ughh!
Manny: Ogh!
Manny: (panting)
Manny: Oof!
Glottis: Wooooo-hoo!
Manny: Hmmmm… øQuÈ es esto?
Manny: Domino!
Copal: Now you see why I give all the good clients to Domino!
Limones: Welcome to the club!
Olivia: Manny! At last we’re alone. Tell me, how are the bourgeoisie?
Toto: [Wake up!] Wake up! I don’t work on drunks! [Idiot!]
Toto: [Think you’re not paying me, you’re crazy]
Membrillo: All day long, Manny, I sort through pure sadness. I find evidence, and I piece together stories. But none of my stories end well — they all end here. And the moral of every story is the same: We may have years, we may have hours, but sooner of later, we push up flowers.
Terry: ‘The workers shall control the means of production…’ The workers…. shall control the means of production! Yes! That’s it! That’s what I’ve been trying to say!
Manny: …good thing I know a lawyer who owes me a favor.
Manny: I’ll let you know when I think of it. Better stick around.
Maximino: Raided? How long they going to close it for? Ah. Yeah, you better cut off the big guy’s credit, then. Yeah, yeah. Throw the drunk out on his big orange butt, and bring me Calavera so we can talk about his debt.
Limones: I hope this very urgent message gets to you in time. Our man in Zapato says Ms. Colomar never made it to the port. It’s said she threw herself overboard at the Pearl.
Manny: I don’t know, but I don’t like the way that thing’s looking at us.
Domino: Ahhh!
Manny: The only thing here that’s going down is you, Hurley.
Hector: Get it? Leave! Ha ha ha!
Toto: [What a pain in the ass. Wish he’d shut the hell up.]
Clown: Don’t you think Sparky?
Clown: Are you picking up on my drift, Sparky?
Manny: Say hello to my little friend.
Unicycle man: Trap!
Unicycle man: It was a trap!
Manny: Is this where you tell me all about your secret plan, Hector?
Manny: How you stole Double-N tickets from innocent souls, pretended to sell them but really hoarded them all for yourself in a desperate attempt to get out of the Land of the Dead?
Chepito: Hey! Where you goin’?
Chepito: You can’t leave me here all alone!
Chepito: Come back here!
Chepito: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Manny: I coulda walked faster than this!
Manny: Rrr, hÌjole, I’m gonna miss the poisoning!
Glottis: You were the best boss… I… ever… had! … Bye.
Virago:
Virago: You didn’t have time to save her either.
Virago: Oof!
Virago: Oof…
Manny: Why would Hector & Domino be hoarding cases of counterfeit Double-N tickets?
Manny: Oh, right.
Gunnar: Hssss!
Limones:
Terry: Did you hear that guys? He thinks we should register a complaint.
Screaming1 Aaaaaaahhhhh!
screaming2 Aaaaaahhhhhhh!
screaming3 Aaaaaahhhhhhh!
moaning1 Aaaaaahhhhhhh…
moaning2 Ooooohhhhh….
moaning3 Rrrrhhhhh…..
moaning4 Aaaaaahhhhh…..
moaning5 Eeeeehhhhh….
moaning6 Aaaahhhhh….
Manny: Let me see that.
Manny: Yeah.
Announcer: Hissing Pretty
Announcer: Tiger Lily
Announcer: Claws of Fire
Announcer: Katastrophe
Announcer: Windward Windy
Announcer: Leeward Louie
Announcer: Kitty Meow
Announcer: Twinkle Toes
Announcer: El Gato Gordo
Announcer: Kentucky White Paw
Announcer: Kat Man Doo
Announcer: Kitty Kitty Bang-Bang
Announcer: Cat-Scratch Speeder
Announcer: Siamese Express
Announcer: Screeching For Vengeance
Announcer: Paws II
Announcer: Big Furry Bastard
Announcer: Scratch Pole Junky
Announcer: Rusty Anchor
Announcer: Meowy-Wowy
Announcer: Litter-lover
Announcer: One-Life-Left
Announcer: Nose for Trouble
Announcer: Fulov Curiousity
Announcer: Paws ‘n Reflect
Announcer: El Pussy Pancho
Announcer: Chow Down Charlie
Announcer: Pick of the Litter
Announcer: I Am Not Spot
Announcer: Lalo Esqualo
Announcer: Dribble for Kibble
Announcer: Smitten Kitten
Announcer: You’re Not My Paw
Announcer: Prince Winki-Taka
Announcer: Vengeful Pounce
Announcer: Fluffy’s Rampage
Announcer: Old Maid’s Madness
Announcer: Snowball’s Triumph
Announcer: BunBun’s Hope
Announcer: Smokie’s Ride
Announcer: Old Scamper
Announcer: Momma’s Love Ball
Announcer: BankTeller’s Dream
Announcer: Fleaball’s Cure
Announcer: Drooling Monkey
Announcer: PorkChop’s Ransom
Announcer: BadAss Bella
Announcer: CatWetty’s Wompum
Announcer: Tail Puller’s Delight
Announcer: The Littlest Buffalo
Announcer: Toe Bite Special
Announcer: Hairball Surprise
Announcer: Tunafish Bonanza
Announcer: Myron’s Memory
Announcer: Snowballs Chance in Hell
Announcer: Desdemona
Announcer: Abicrombie
Announcer: Aloof poof
Announcer: Tail of Two Kitties
Announcer: How now, Brown Meow
Announcer: It’s a beautiful day here at Feline Meadows…
Announcer: Getting ready for the next race…
Announcer: Don’t forget, ladies and gentlemen…
Announcer: Tuesday is Kitty Hat Day…
Announcer: Please do not leave children unattended.
Announcer: For your own safety…
Announcer: Please keep off of the track.
Announcer: Do not pet the cats, please.
Announcer: We have a lost child here in the press booth…
Announcer: We’re looking for a set of lost keys here…
Announcer: We ask that if you find a set of keys, please return them to the track betting area.
Announcer: Thank you.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, you have fifteen minutes to place your bets…
Announcer: Ten minutes to post…
Announcer: Five minutes to post.
Announcer: Post time, no more bets!
Announcer: We’re about ready to start…
Announcer: AND WE’RE OFF!
Announcer: …in the lead, right out of the gate…
Announcer: …having a little trouble…
Announcer: …making up for lost time…
Announcer: …and it looks like…
Announcer: …but here comes a challenger…
Announcer: …someone’s gaining on the outside, it’s…
Announcer: …losing ground…
Announcer: …catching up…
Announcer: …in first place…
Announcer: …in second place…
Announcer: …coming around the bend…
Announcer: …bringing up the rear…
Announcer: …oh no, she’s gone down…
Announcer: …she’s getting up, licking herself off…
Announcer: …one more lap to go…
Announcer: …what a race!
Announcer: …could go either way…
Announcer: …right on the heels of…
Announcer: …gaining ground…
Announcer: …coming into the home stretch…
Announcer: …it’s…
Announcer: …and then…
Announcer: …followed by…
Announcer: …in the lead…
Announcer: …out of nowhere!
Announcer: …it’s a miracle!
Announcer: …closing in…
Announcer: …and…
Announcer: …standing her ground…
Announcer: …coming up on the finish…
Announcer: …WE HAVE A WINNER!
Announcer: …in first, followed by…
Announcer: …and in third place…
Announcer: It looks like we have a photo-finish here folks!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate your patience while we await the race results.
Announcer: …and again, the winner…
Announcer: The next race will begin momentarily!
Manny: Aaah!
Manny: Oooh!
Sea bees: (Grumble grumble)
Sea bees: (Grumble grumble)
Sea bees: (Grumble grumble)
Sea bees: (Cheers)
Sea bees: … we’re not gonna … no way … Yeah! … isn’t right … Union! Union!
Sea bees: (Cheers)
Sea bees: Union! Union! Union!! Union!! UNION!!!
Sea bees: (crowd chants “Union” over and over)
Sea bees: (crowd chants “Union” over and over)
Sea bees: (grumble)
Sea bees: (grumble)
Sea bees: (grumble)
Hector: Huh?
Hector: Haaaa.
Hector: Aaahhh!
Manny: Oof.
Manny: Here–what good’s a relationship without trust?
Manny: Meche, you don’t know what you’re–
Manny: Would you just listen to MY escape plan first?
Domino: Hahaha.
Manny: Eee…eeeaah!
Manny: Ugh!
Manny: Aah!
Manny: Aaah!
Glottis: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Glottis: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Glottis: Wooooo-hoo-hoo! Whooooaaaa!
Glottis: Whooop! Whooooaaaa!
Glottis: Whooop! Waaaaaaaaa!
Glottis: Whooaa! Waaaaaaaaa!
Manny: I don’t plan to be around that long, Velasco.
Manny: As soon as I find out where that ocean liner’s going I’m after it.
Velasco: Ha! That ship’s going to Puerto Zapato!
Velasco: That’s the other side of the world!
Velasco: There ain’t no ships going out that way but the ol’ Limbo hereÖ
Manny: But nothing.
Manny: If the Limbo’s my only hope, then I’m already on board.
Velasco: Weeeeeeell, good luck, son.
Velasco: That’s all I got to say. Ho ho! Ha ha ha ha!
Manny: Lola? What are you doing here?
Manny: This crowd doesn’t go much for souvenir pictures.
Manny: Except, maybe of LeninÖ
Lola: Shhh! Manny, I’m on a stakeout!
Lola: I’m gonna prove to Maximino once and for all that Olivia’s no good for him.
Manny: Still hung up on Max, eh?
Manny: Take my advice, Angel.
Manny: Forget about him.
Manny: He’s a gambling racketeer–
Virago: Come on, sugar.
Virago: How about a kiss for the road.
Olivia: Oh, ick. Don’t let me down, Nick.
Olivia: You’re a lawyer.
Olivia: You’re not supposed to have feelings.
Toto: [Hey! Hold still!]
Toto: Hold still!
Toto: What are you?
Toto: DEAD! Ach!
Manny: I don’t even have lungs for crying out loud.
Manny: Neither do I.
Manny: You don’t need air, remember?
Manny: You’re a demon!
Manny: Hey! Snap out of it, sailor!
Toto: What kind of sailor are you–OOF!
Toto: Can’t handle booze, huh?
Toto: Velasco? Toto!
Toto: I got your boy Naranja here.
Toto: M.I.A, he is?
Toto: Well, he sober up, I send him to Limbo.
Toto: Yeah, yeah-he’ll make it there by morning.
Toto: Promise!
Olivia: Manny! At last we’re alone.
Glottis: Don’t worry, Manny.
Glottis: We’re safe in here.
Olivia: Tell me, how are the bourgeoisie?
Toto: Wake up!
Toto: Wake up! I don’t work on drunks!
Toto: [Idiot!]
Membrillo: A sailor by the name ofÖ
Membrillo: It looks like I’ve got one of your boys down here in the morgue.
Membrillo: Velasco.
Membrillo: All day long, Manny, I sort through pure sadness.
Membrillo: I find evidence, and I piece together stories.
Membrillo: But none of my stories end well — they all end here.
Membrillo: And the moral of every story is the same:
Membrillo: We may have years, we may have hours,
Membrillo: but sooner or later, we push up flowers.
Bruno: YOU! You were the guy who packed me in there!
Bruno: You could have at least given me a magazine!
Bruno: Four years with nothing to read but this damn mug!
Bruno: What are you doing here?
Bruno: And if you were headed this way, why didn’t you offer me a lift? Ah, phooey!
Manny: Bruno?
Manny: Bruno Martinez?
Velasco: What?
Velasco: How?
Velasco: Ö Sprouted?
Velasco: But – Ah this town’s going to Hell!
Velasco: Sailor can’t even take a two-day shore leave without watching his backÖ
Velasco: Yeah, yeah. I’ll come down in the morning.
Terry: The workers shall control the means of production…
Terry: The workers…. shall control the means of production! Yes! That’s it!
Terry: That’s what I’ve been trying to say!
Hector: I’ve got something that might interest you.
Manny: I’ll let you know when I think of it.
Manny: Better stick around.
Manny: Wish you could have seen it.
Manny: It was old school all the way.
Glottis: That was the easy part.
Glottis: The trick’s gonna be bustin’ through that big coral reef out there!
Toto: Let’s see… uh number thirty… ah, thirty six here.
Manny: I can’t believe you got it to float.
Manny: Incredible! Ha ha ha!
Manny: Bust through a big coral reef, eh?
Manny: HmmmÖ
Manny: Oooh, that reminds me.
Manny: I forgot about my date with Inez!
Manny: There can’t be too much in here.
Manny: Yeah, it’s me Manny!
Manny: I was just passing through town and–
Manny: I’d better save it.
Manny: Yeah, it’s me baby.
Manny: How’d you know?
Manny: Hey, don’t say that sweetheart.
Manny: You know I meant to stop by ‘n —
Manny: I’m thinking about heading out for donuts.
Manny: Want anything?
Toto: Oh. Oh, yeah. Uh. Lola was here. Sweet girl.
Toto: Like a daughter to me.
Toto: Tell her Papa Toto says hello.
Toto: Hey! Shut door!
Toto: You slow down my grinder, very painful!
Toto: Very painful, eh Naranja? Like torture, hee hee hee, hee hee hee.
Toto: Shut the damn door! Nothing to eat in there!
Toto: You will want a snack, go get your mother!
Toto: Argh. Not now, Manny.
Toto: I’m in the middle of something with Naranja here.
Toto: Stay out of my fridge!
Toto: [Don’t make me come in there and kick your ass!]
Toto: [What a pain in the ass.]
Toto: [Wish he’d shut the hell up.]
Toto: [What the hell?]
Toto: Look! You broke it.
Toto: What is that? Am I being inspected?
Toto: Are you with the health department or something?
Toto: Go away. I pay my money this month.
Toto: Mmmm. I haven’t had a good piece of Lengua since you shut Rub-A-Mat down!
Toto: (Sigh) You and your fancy food, with parsley and the foil swans…
Glottis: (Gasp) AH HEART! HEART IS GOOD!
Glottis: BE GOOD TO HEART!
Glottis: DON’T TEAR OUT HEART!
Glottis: HEART IS GOOD!
Glottis: STRONG BEATING GOOD HEART.
Glottis: Hey, is that my car?
Manny: I don’t have time to get you for Lola, but I’m sure somebody will.
Virago: But don’t feel too bad about that Manny.
Virago: I hear saving women really isn’t your forte.
Velasco: You gotta watch your step around here, stranger.
Velasco: Rubacava ain’t the quaint little port town she used to be.
Velasco: Wwwweeell-hell-hell. Looks like there’s a new vessel in town.
Velasco: Pardon me whilst I go check her out!
Copal: Get in there and stay put until the boys downtown tell us what they want done with ya.
Copal: Someone’s gonna take the fall for this, Calavera, and it ain’t gonna be me!
Toto: Too big–Take off the whole arm.
Toto: Only do that if design turns out bad.
Manny: Buenos DÌas.
Manny: Everybody here is just as dead as you.
Manny: That’s why we call it the “Land of the Dead.”
Meche: Manny! What are you doing here?
Manny: I wanted to see how your trip was going, Angel. I AM your travel agent, you know.
Manny: I coulda walked faster than this! Rrr, hÌjole, I’m gonna miss the poisoning!
Bruno: Cut the yap. I want something cheap where I can get some rest, and that’s it.
Copal: If you haven’t bagged a premium before the next sales report comes in, you’re out!
Meche: Guess they couldn’t save me, eh?
Manny: No, but there’s still a chance you could save me.
Limones: I was once a reaper like yourself, Manuel. But I uncovered a web of corruption in our beloved Department of Death.
Limones: I have reason to believe that the Bureau of Acquisitions is cheating the very souls it was chartered to serve. I think someone is robbing these poor, naÔve souls of their rightful destinies, leaving them no option but to march on a treacherous trail of tears, unprotected and alone. Like babies, Manuel. Like babies.
Manny: What’s your evidence?
Limones: That’s where you come in, Manuel. Or, should I call you “Agent Calavera?”
Manny: “Manny” suits me fine. I’m not looking to join any military organization, Sal. I just want my job back so I can work off my time and get out of this dump.
Limones: Well, you won’t even be able to get out of this city with out my help. Which means, of course, you won’t be able to find that woman, and you’ll never get your job back. When you’re ready to join the cause, Manuel, come talk to me. We might be of some use to each other.
Copal: Hector! No!
Membrillo: It looks like I’ve got one of your boys down here in the morgue.
Lola: Tell me, Manny. Would I have had a chance?
Domino: Hahahahaha!
Domino: I’ve got to get back to the city where the action is.
Velasco: You gotta watch your step around here, stranger. Rubacava ain’t the quaint little port town she used to be.
Limones: Manuel? Are youÖ
Limones: Öin love with her?
Manny: Love? Love is for the living, Sal. I’m only after her for one reasonÖ
Manny: ÖShe’s my ticket out of here.
Bruno: Ah, phooey!
Bruno: I’m getting out of here. This world’s for suckers.
Bogen: This is an outrage!
Bogen: I bet on number two, why didn’t it come up number two?
Bogen: Well, please tell the “Man Upstairs” that Police Chief Bogen was very upset when he left…
Bogen: …and when he returns later this evening, he would prefer to have better luck!
Croupier: Ah Monsieur, je suis vraiment dÈsolÈ, I do not pick the winners.
Croupier: These things are all controlled by the man upstairs.
Croupier: Oui, Monsieur. Bon soir.
Croupier: I will definitely tell him.
Croupier: Zero.
Croupier: One.
Croupier: Two.
Croupier: Three.
Croupier: Four.
Croupier: Five.
Croupier: Six.
Croupier: Seven.
Croupier: Eight.
Croupier: Nine.
Croupier: Ten.
Croupier: Eleven.
Croupier: Twelve.
Croupier: Thirteen.
Croupier: Fourteen.
Croupier: Fifteen.
Croupier: Sixteen.
Croupier: Seventeen.
Croupier: Eighteen.
Croupier: Nineteen.
Croupier: Twenty.
Croupier: Twenty-one.
Croupier: Twenty-two.
Croupier: Twenty-three.
Croupier: Twenty-four.
Croupier: Twenty-five.
Croupier: Twenty-six.
Croupier: Twenty-seven.
Croupier: Twenty-eight.
Croupier: Twenty-nine.
Croupier: Thirty.
Croupier: Thirty-one.
Croupier: Thirty-two.
Croupier: Thirty-three.
Croupier: Thirty-four.
Croupier: Thirty-five.
Croupier: Thirty-six.
Croupier: Le zÈro…
Croupier: Le un…
Croupier: Le deux…
Croupier: Le trois…
Croupier: Le quatre…
Croupier: Le cinq…
Croupier: Le six…
Croupier: Le sept…
Croupier: Le huit…
Croupier: Le neuf…
Croupier: Le dix…
Croupier: Le onze…
Croupier: Le douze…
Croupier: Le treize…
Croupier: Le quatorze…
Croupier: Le quinze…
Croupier: Le seize…
Croupier: Le dix-sept…
Croupier: Le dix-huit…
Croupier: Le dix-neuf…
Croupier: Le vingt…
Croupier: Le vingt et un…
Croupier: Le vingt-deux…
Croupier: Le vingt-trois…
Croupier: Le vingt-quatre…
Croupier: Le vingt-cinq…
Croupier: Le vingt-six…
Croupier: Le vingt-sept…
Croupier: Le vingt-huit…
Croupier: Le vingt-neuf…
Croupier: Le trente…
Croupier: Le trente et un…
Croupier: Le trente-deux…
Croupier: Le trente-trois…
Croupier: Le trente-quatre…
Croupier: Le trente-cinq…
Croupier: Le trente-six…
Croupier: Rouge,
Croupier: Noir,
Croupier: Red.
Croupier: Black.
Croupier: …pair et passe.
Croupier: …pair et manque.
Croupier: …impair et pass.
Croupier: …impair et manque.
Croupier: Mesdames et Messieurs, faites vos jeux s’il vous plaÓt.
Croupier: Ladies and Gentlemen, please place your bets.
Croupier: Mesdames et Messieurs, rien ne va plus.
Croupier: Les jeux sont faits.
Croupier: Ladies and Gentlemen, Betting is closed.
Croupier: No more bets, please.
Croupier: Le deux. Noir, pair et manque.
Croupier: Number two, two is the winner.
Croupier: Your chips, Monsieur…
Bogen: Oh, why thank you!
Bogen: Thank you very much!
Bogen: How nice!
Bogen: Again?
Bogen: This must be my lucky day!
Bogen: Merci.
Bogen: Merci beaucoup.
Croupier: House pays all winners…
Croupier: La banque paye…
Charlie: Alright, Manny!
Charlie: Give me the case!
Manny: Charles, I thought we had a bargain!
Charlie: Oh, we do. But I thought I’d bring some muscle along just in case.
Manny: What’s the matter, Chuck?
Manny: Can’t afford to hire goons to do this sort of work for you?
Charlie: I’m all the goon I need. Now drop it!
Manny: You said it, boss.
Manny: Got a card for me?
Charlie: Here. Welcome to the union, Manny. Meetings first Tuesday of every month and-uh, don’t forget to pay your dues.
Manny: Don’t forget to pay my duesÖ
Manny: It’s looks like a glowing hunk of coral.
Manny: I heard he was a total slave-driver.
Manny: No room for that.
Manny: Don’t think that’s gonna work.
Manny: Not here!
Manny: It’s Toto Santos, Rubacava’s friendly scrimshaw artist.
Croupier: Le numÈro gagnant…
Copal: Out on the street! No job! No way to work off your time! Just your fancy suit and your big smile and a whole lotta time to kill!
Limones: I don’t know if you believe that, but whatever you do, do not land in Puerto Zapato! It’s a trap. Assassins will attempt to board your ship disguised as customs agents.
Limones: Beware! And Viva la RevoluciÛn!
Hector: This slow stuff WILL sprout you, but it’s going to take a long time, I’m sorry to say.
Limones: I think someone is robbing these poor, naÔve souls of their rightful destinies, leaving them no option but to march on a treacherous trail of tears, unprotected and alone.
Limones: Like babies, Manuel. Like babies.
Limones: When you’re ready to join the cause, Manuel, come talk to me. We might be of some use to each other.
Hector: We’ve had a lot of openings in this office in the last couple of years, and frankly we’ve had trouble filling them. I could really use a closer like you on the team.
Copal: This is her reward, after a lifetime of hardship and public service? Her destiny stolen by some overreaching salesman looking for a fat commission he didn’t deserve!
Limones: Our army has grown, and right now our top agents are in Hector’s weapons lab, about to close in on the enemy in his own den. I couldn’t have done it without you, Manuel.

One Reply to “Dialogue”

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